It sure sounds like it. When that moment comes again, when you experience their comments as a criticism, remind yourself that you are like an astronaut, carrying your life support with you everywhere you go.
OK, so that’s what I tell myself, but I’d love to be an astronaut, so pretending makes me happy. You will find something that will make you happy, too.
Don’t mean to be harsh, but I am so very damned sick of hearing this same story ad infinitum. Makes me want to scream “Eff what your so-called friends think about your D and your choice of insulin delivery! Or do whatever the eff everyone else allegedly wants you to do already, and stop whining about it!”
And I find the way you word becoming intimate with a woman (not a girl unless you are a pedophile) offensive, objectifying, and misogynistic. But that’s just me…
If one person would just say “Disconnect it” then I’ll stop talking.
Disconnect it.
You know I don’t dislike you, right, Cochese? (PWD are my favorite kind of people). I simply dislike this particular issue you have.
I’m glad you don’t dislike me, and I don’t dislike you. I have had to battle diabetes for 22 years and bipolar disorder for the last 11. Some people simply just don’t understand. The best people are the ones who don’t try to figure it all out and let me just do my thing. This particular issue may have something to do with where I live, my town or whatever. But I have to do what’s best for me. With the bipolar disorder and all the 7 meds I have to take for that, it would be very difficult to do MDI. I don’t want to educate others about my diabetes and bipolar. I want them to understand that I got these things under control on my own and don’t need their help.
That is your answer to why the pump is right for you. Focus on this whenever you feel confused or ambiguous about your pump. My guess is that it is your own ambiguity towards your pump that augments other people’s reactions in your mind.
I think diabetes does affect intimacy. It’s hard because it’s not sexy to pause and disconnect the pump. I think this tends to be more awkward and more of a problem when you’re beginning a relationship. Over time, the person you’re with gets used to these sorts of things. It’s just not something they’re used to at the beginning.
I used to use a pump in the past, but I had some trouble with my sites working so I’ve been on MDI for awhile. I do feel like it’s been easier on MDI, but I think that my boyfriend would be totally fine if I was on the pump or MDI. If he wasn’t, then we probably wouldn’t last very long anyway because I wouldn’t put up with that. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be hurt by his reaction though, especially because diabetes is such a life-altering thing that I can’t change.
If you’ve actually had women ask you to switch to MDI, then these women must be terrible people or not understand what kind of impact that could have on you. If it’s the former, then I would recommend finding new people to spend your time with. If it’s the latter, then maybe you could spend more time explaining the “ins and outs” of diabetes. I hate explaining my diabetes to new people I meet (I know some people are totally comfortable with this, and kudos to them), but if I’m dating someone then they should know about diabetes because it’s such a big part of my life. Someone I would want to date would understand that it’s important to me that I take care of myself so that I can reduce my chances of complications later in life (fingers crossed).
Anyway, I get that dating is stressful when you have diabetes (boy, do I get it). I hope you’re able to work out something that doesn’t involve changing your diabetes management in an unhealthy way though.
You don’t need a pump. For some people, a pump makes their lives easier and that is liberating to them and great for them. Based on your many posts on the subject, you appear to not be one of those people. I am also not one, for different reasons.
I’ve travelled around the country enough to know that you’ll find both ignorant and intelligent and understanding people anywhere you might go… You place way too much focus on the thoughts of the ignorant. One of my favorite sayings is “wolves don’t lose sleep over the thoughts of sheep.” You can chose to be a wolf in life and stop being a sheep. I understand being bipolar probably makes that more difficult.
As to your often cited problems with girls that you believe your pump is to blame for… Perhaps not trying to ‘make out’ with ‘girls’ until one actually knows and likes you well enough to not say anything you’d take offense to and you’re personally capable of not perceiving everything they say as some kind of scathing criticism… That might help your cause…
I’m 29. It might be best for me to give up on the whole dating thing. My past relationships have always ended because she got tired of putting up with my diabetes and bipolar. I got to face it: I’m undatable.
I was dating a not-so good looking girl who the pump didn’t bother. I went to a party and a good looking girl started making out with me until she saw the pump. I am thinking that the hotter the girl, the more she won’t like the pump.
Man, you’re probably right… In your current state of mind you’re likely “updatable”
Any ladies on the forum interested in a non-scientific poll? IF you were single, based on cocheze’s picture alone and the only thing you knew about him was that he uses an insulin pump-- how many of you would possibly entertain the idea of letting him take you out on a date based on those two things alone? Assuming you were within a reasonable age difference…
Now how many of you would consider that after this little snapshot into his way of thinking about women and how he expects them to react to diabetes:
A good attitude goes a long way…
Sorry, reading this post has become frustrating. I’d agree that your attitude and contributions to the conversation, are limiting your dating options far more than your insulin pump. I get that diabetes is not a sexy disease, but the pump is so easy to disconnect it’s interference is irrelevant. Just take it off without calling attention to it. Your “friends” likely make those remarks because you seem to make a bigger deal of it than you need to.
Reverse how you wear the pump so it’s the clip that is visible on the outside of your jeans, not the pump itself. Put the infusion set somewhere on your upper thigh/below your butt, but on the side, so that you can reach into your pocket and unplug the tubing through the fabric of your pants so that the pump will not be attached when you remove lower layers of clothing. Everything comes off together and you don’t even see the pump. Also, if you are wearing it this way, nobody is going to even see your tubing when you are drumming with your shirt off because nothing is located above your waistband. Problem solved.
Your comment about a woman’s level of attractiveness determining her reaction to your diabetic issues is [moronic? offensive?] and reflects that your relationships are superficial at best. Perhaps give your relationships time to grow on an emotional and intellectual level first before getting intimate. This way you might be be able to share your insecurities with your partner, and get reassurance that you are loved regardless.
Just get on the Omnipod system. Nothing to disconnect. No tubes. You might get some reaction, but it’s not as “medical” looking as a tube going into an infusion site. You can bathe, swim, scuba, etc. without having to adjust anything. It also gives you much more freedom in choosing your site, so you can be more discreet. Good luck.
Excellent response. Will you marry me?
Cocheze. Don’t worry. Pump or no pump, I’ll go out with you! lol
some jokers even had a problem with me pumping at the table
I’d like to see those same people’s reaction if i pulled out a pen with a needle on it.
I am pretty sure that the only one who really has a problem with your pump is you… And until you get that sorted out you’ll keep projecting that problem on the rest of the world around you. If it is really that much of a burden to you emotionally, just get rid of it and do MDI… With the insulins that are available nowadays it’s a pretty tough sell to covince me that pumps are in any way superior. You don’t have to chose to inject in front of people, I myself choose not to… Pumping certainly isn’t a superior option in your case if it causes you all this stress, although I suspect if you weren’t blaming the pump for all your problems you’d likely be blaming something else…