I posted a question about how to say NO to people who push meds and food at us. The answers were interesting and valuable information for me, gave me lots of ideas. However, then another question arose from that one…do your friends/fellow workers/boss/ extended family/ know that you are diabetic and what that means to you or to them?
I think I have told just about all of my friends close and distant that I am diabetic. I hate being ambushed by food or by people, so I am very very open about m y “D”. I tell them that it means I do have to make some choices on what to eat, when to eat and how I treat my body. I have to get exercise in everyday, and if it interfers with what they have planned to start without me, and I’ll be there later. It’s a date I am not willing to break. My distant family know that I am diabetic, the saying in our family is that my brother inherited the family fortune, I got the diseases…which at this time seems true. I don’t have a boss, so that is taken care of, but my volunteer people know that I have diabetes and what that means as far as they are concerned about our work. I see NO reason not to say anything, the more the merrier as just in case something would happen, I want anyone and everyone there helping me.
What about you, have you told anyone?
I’ve told all my friends and family. My best friend recently attempted “a day in the life of”, by eating exactly what I ate, taking her blood sugar, exercising the way I did, taking candy “pills”, the only thing she didn’t do was the injections, but she did draw them up and take the time like she would have to do one. She did this partially for me, but also because her mom is diabetic too and she kept saying things like, “if she ate better” or “if she just went for a walk”. It was interesting for my BFF because she really got to see that some days it didn’t matter how “good” I was, my numbers just went crazy sometimes. It really gave some great perspective. By the end of day 3 she was “seeing the light”. Talk about validation on my part!
Anywho- I have no issue letting anyone know about my diabetes, I think people understand me a little better because of it.
There are two types of diabetes: T1 : be careful who you tell - you might die at any moment and T2: if you tell – it means you’re a fat pig and will die of obesity. I’m being sarcastic, but …
Seriously, if you are afraid to tell, you are in denial and will eventualy develop psychological problems. It is important to tell people your story. Patients with chronic diseases need friends to talk to.
Do most know? Sure… but that doesn’t mean they get it… at all. I’m not afraid to tell people, but I’m also very self-sufficient. I’ve yet to need assistance with a low BG or anything else… even after nearly 10 years.
Most people I know seem to “forget” that I’m diabetic, because as they put it, I seem so “normal”. I wish i saw it from that perspective. I may seem normal, but it takes an awful lot of work on my part to stay that way.
I am new so not everyone I knows. My parents and some of my family because I have cousins who also have recently found out they have diabetes. So even though I feel bad for them too - I still feel a bit relieved that I wasn’t the only one that got the bad genes.
Well, I don’t have that many friends anymore since most of them got married and had kids (and sorry married folks but you know what sometimes happens to the single friends after that). So the few friends I have ,some friends know and some don’t - mostly because I haven’t seen some of them so there hasn’t been a time yet. But when I see them again, I am sure it will come up. I am not embarassed about it really but I still mad. I have a friend who is a doctor and she was the first one because she was giving me advice and her mom is diabetic. It was nice to have someone to tell.
My ex knows - not that he was very supportive(which is why he is my ex now - well, paritaly the reason) but Cathy he was like you were saying how people want to tell you what to do - like medicial advice, what to eat and push, push, push when I was first diagnosed. It drove me crazy and I would get mad and he would say I was being mean and ungrateful because he was “doing all this research” online for me. It was like it was my fault (although he always did that with everything). It is like “wait I am the one that just found out I have this horrible disease - where is the support and compassion?” “Well, Here is what I do if I were you…” Well, you are not me" - plus who wants to here all that damn pushy advice when I am still in shock from being diagnosed. People don’t understand the psychological trauma you go through first. I know they think they are helping but I hate being pushed into anything.
All my friends know I am diabetic and I tell them ‘no’ regularly. They are never offended. They understand.
Family members. of course knows… I would say only some friends would know that I am. Friends that are close to me and the ones I spend most time with. Not that I do not wish to tell them nor Im uncomfortable to say so…but I guess I only present the situation that I am diabetic when necessary or in the circumstance that I need to tell them…like…when I explain why I choose my food…or why I have to test…or why I cannot eat something… In which case they do understand.
That’s a good BF, I think.
All my friends and family know (I’m not big on casual acquaintences, my friends are all important people in my life). The degree to which I talk about diabetes has definitely shrunk for several reasons. When I was initially mis-diagnosed as Type 2 in July 2007, I am ashamed to admit I took my meds, measured my blood sugar a couple times a day and otherwise didn’t make any changes or take it too seriously, so I rarely talked about it. When I correctly rediagnosed myself as LADA it was a very big deal in my life. First the process of figuring out the diagnosis, then the subsequent adjustment to insulin and change in my diet. So I talked about it a LOT. Since then, my diabetes is finally taking less of a front row set in my life and I’ve discovered while they care about me and how I’m doing, people are just not interested in all the day to day details. AND they still don’t really get it. My two Type 2 friends and pre-diabetes brother are actually the least interested in talking about diabetes because they are in degrees of denial and don’t want to be pushed. Since I’ve backed off a bit, I notice people actually have been using the information I gave them and being more considerate. For example, when I visited my brother he let me know ahead of time what our eating plans were.
I actually am happier now that I talk about it less, because it was becoming too central a part of my identity. I am more than my diabetes! (And have more interesting topics to talk about). When I want to obsess about diabetes, I come here…lol
I’ve told four of my friends only because they are the ones that I am with when making food choices. One of them is a non-D person but she and her hubby are on a low carb diet. That is nice. We swap recipes and food ideas. Talk about which ones were good, which ones to avoid, when the low carb stuff goes on sale, etc. But its interesting to see how many difference we have in how we approach low carb eathing.
The other three dont get it though. They get confused and think that just because something is low carb, it must be okay for me to eat as much as I want. The are like “WHAT?!?!” when I say I have to limit my portions or shoot up for what I am about to consume. I still get perturbed when they add, “Well that sucks!!” Thanks, like I didnt already know that. I remind them frequently about how it works, but I can tell it doesnt sink in and they dont think about it because they dont have to.
I limit who I tell because I really dont need to listen to someone who is uninformed telling me how I need to be. I’m not embarrassed or in denial. I have no qualms about testing or shooting up in public. Just private about my busness.
Yes, she is a fantastic friend!! You are so fortunate.
Everybody knows that I am diabetic and I think they are probably quite sick of hearing about it. 
WOW, Gabi, I am so impressed to hear you say that you are not ashamed of your diabetes, nor am I. I find it a time and a “mission” to share with others what I didn’t know. Maybe in different areas of the country there are different attitudes about it, but in my mind, the more people that know and have accurate information the better. Remember when we didn’t talk about breast or prostrate cancer…look how things have changed. Thanks for your input.
My friends know. I don’t hide it, but don’t talk about it either. And yet my co-workers still feel free to comment on every bite that goes in my mouth. The other day someone told me I couldn’t eat a cookie. I always reply “I can eat anything I want. Just have to cover it.” I could tell she wanted to argue with me but I gave her my death ray look and she stopped talking.
“death ray look” – I love it!
(I’m one of those people who’s very expressive facially, so there’s never any doubt as to where I’m coming from…)
Some of my family know. My friends that I am with the most know. My boyfriend know also. I have no problem telling anyone that I have D.
Cathy, some people know and some don’t. The only reason some don’t is because I didn’t launch a phone campaign to spread the word. It’s sort of funny. Two in-laws were diagnosed t about the same time. A husband wife team. At a graduation party was when I found out. It was all they talked about. From the time they got there, through eating and until they left. Totally obsessing about it. Almost like a kid with a new toy. I remember thinking then saying. If I ever had any disease I hoped I didn’t behave like that. So, that’s why some don’t know yet. When the time comes that there is a reason for them to know, they will. I don’t hide it.
The group I volunteer with know. They had to since I work with residents/patients. Being retired work folk isn’t an issue.
I’m never quite sure what to tell anyone. I suspect only those who also have diabetes. Are the only ones who understand more than the word itself. If they ask, I give them a number and tell them it’s good or a little high. I think “I’m feeling good” says more than numbers to a non-diabetic.
When it comes to food. If I’m avoiding something that I used to scarf down. When they ask about it. I keep it simple. “Too high in carbs.” " It has sugar." “Too much fat.” It seems effective and they get it.
So, it’s sort of a need to know kind of thing. What I have found amusing, are waiters or waitresses pushing drinks or desert. Some of the reactions to " I can’t do that. I’m diabetic." are interesting.
variations of this topic come up a lot and i’ve always given the same answer: in 50 years as T1 i’ve never told anyone. ever. the only people who know are my wife, my kids and my mother. i’m not the least bit ashamed; it’s just not relevant in my daily life that others know. and … it saves a lot of problems dealing with people. (nor did my parents disclose it when i was in grade school until i left home for college.)
i’ve had D so long it’s like breathing; i’ve never, ever been depressed or felt overburdened or burned out. it is what it is. you deal with it and live your life.
and yes, i’m lucky too. no complications, unbelievably healthy, never a seizure or incapacitated by a low or high in all those years. so there’s really no point in disclosing it. i’m happy and healthy and my life is complicated enough without adding a self-inflicted problem.
DC, I read this, and I thought what a lucky person. Never in 50 years have they had a problem with their diabetes; and then I felt a little intimidated by my presumption that you were “gloating” about the idea, and perhaps putting those of us who have had a problem with it, mentally, emotionally, and healthwise in our places in essence putting us down. Now I know that this is a very accepting site of where people are at in their walk with the big “D”…so I doubt that you would be doing that. Right?
Could I ask, what if you would have had an episode of illness out of your realm, how would people have known to deal with it? IE, Many people even those who are responsible for taking care of us in emergencies EMT, PD, Docs, etc, make the mistake of thinking us drunk or worse and not considering us diabetics…wouldn’t it have been good to have someone besides family known you are diabetic. And if you aren’t “ashamed” or another word for that feeling, why the secrecy? Just wondering.
I’m NOT advocating putting in your local paper, or even on the news. Because as others have said it is no one’s business…except that if you are with these people, as friends, they may need to know, or it may come up if you wear a medi-alert bracelet. By no means did I tell the world, I didn’t even tell friends, unless they asked or the subject came up. Just for clarification