Well, I guess we all, at one time or another, had an experience with frustrating doctors, pharmacists, and diabetic care center administrative workers. I have taken a vow to myself since my missed diagnosis that when I feel that something is happening with regards to my care, that I will speak up. As diabetics we need to be heard…after all, we are the ones who care for ourselves the most. It’s no secret that we can be a slacker now and then because it is a disease that is demanding. It’s a monster that has to be fed but don’t forget to carb calculate before you do; otherwise that nasty monster will bite you right in the ■■■.
I have recently experienced a couple of things from the diabetes center that I felt needed to be addressed. In the process of rocking that D-Care boat that is more like a ship engineered by all the endos and directors and Doctor Who’s, I have been swatted down like a lowly peon to get back into the hull and do my work.
Since when are we not allowed to address our doctors with our concerns? And since when are doctors suppose to be the only ones who get to speak without interruption? And since when is complaint protocol more important than a patient’s needs?
Far be it from me to be the “complainer” who has the gall to speak to the doctor without being spoken to first. I was operating under the assumption that I had a say in my care and didn’t realize that I must first file a complaint at the front desk where there are some of the very people that mishandled things in the first place.
Like that scene from a recent Grey’s Anatomy episode, where Arizona (Callie’s partner) starts to cry when speaking to the former Chief of Surgery, she explains that she’s so angry that she’s crying and it had to do with some kind of daddy issues…that’s what I tried to hold back on the phone. I was so angry that I wanted to cry. So my voice shook, which was embarrassing to say the least.
At that moment I wished I was more like those people who have the right answer, those who can detach emotionally at the moment and plow right back. But I am not, and that’s who I am. So I found a way around it and wrote my second letter and will write a third and fourth if I must.
I think I remember from one of your last posts that we attend the same diabetes center. I have never had a problem with the doctors or CDEs, but I do have to say their front desk staff are RUDE, INEFFICIENT, and MEAN. I have had nothing but problems with them they always mess up my appointment times. I actually brought this to the attention of my endo and cde and they actually acknowledged the problem and said that they’re working on it. I know that’s not much or any consolation…it wasn’t for me, either! I’m sorry you had an unpleasant experience with a doctor though, that’s no fun and shouldn’t have to happen too.
Your diabetes center is a business. Treat them like one. If their customer service is that bad, take your business elsewhere. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, there has to be another clinic within a 50 mile radius, right? So the next time you get treated rudely by one of these cretins, take a deep breath and politely explain to the offender that you are a client of their business, that you expect to be treated with the same courtesy that they would expect to be treated with if they entered any other business establishment, and unless they prove themselves capable of extending you that courtesy RIGHT NOW, you are going to immediately change providers. You have to stay calm and be rational, though - don’t let your emotions get the better of you or they win, and if you can manage to do it with a smile on your face in a friendly manner, you’ll totally screw with their heads at the same time. Be prepared to demand your medical records - the entire file - from them if they do not change their tune that instant. And yes, they DO have to give the records to you, legally. Those records are YOUR property, not theirs, and if you can’t get decent, professional treatment from them to your face, you certainly can’t expect them to be professional enough respect your patient confidentiality once you’re gone. (I’d even go so far as to state it just like that!) If they give you guff, demand to speak to the supervisor and keep insisting till they cave. Then take your records and find another provider.
Maybe that sounds hard-■■■. But too many people in the medical profession take it for granted that they have you over a barrel if you’re a patient, and it’s just not right. It’s one thing if this were a one-time situation, but it sounds like a pattern, and that’s just not okay. The only way to convince them to behave differently, IMHO, is to hit them where it hurts - their bottom line.
PS one way not to succumb to shaky-voice-syndrome (I get that too and have had to learn work-arounds) is to pretend that you’re an actor in a play. All this isn’t happening to YOU, it’s happening to “your character” and you’re going to speak “your character’s” lines no matter how you’re treated in return. Rehearse ahead of time and imagine a number of scenarios, one where they’re startled and ashamed and conciliatory, one where they’re snotty and arrogant, and even one where they start heaping abuse upon you. But your “character” is a serene and confident person who isn’t rattled by any of their crap, but simply keeps a smile pasted on her face because she knows she’s superior to these lowlifes and their actions and opinions don’t affect her. When you learn to act the part of someone who isn’t concerned about the opposite number’s response, you’ll find you can put it into practice a lot better.
That’s how I do it, most of the time! Visualization & preparation work wonders!
Mother4peace and Sophie, I don’t know what the “procedure” is for complaining, but whatever it is I would follow it until I got to the point where I could actually talk with someone. I might also recommend approaching it from this standpoint:
“How can I (the patient/customer) help you (the diabetes center/service provider) to treat me better?”
@Sophie - In my 7 years there I haven’t really had a “problem,” until recently. I was sent for “advanced pump training” and was shocked that it was just the 101 on diabetes…seriously and I wasn’t the only one who was there and baffled as to why we were sitting sent as it sounds to be something entirely different. My second issue was a prescription foul up that with it being written wrong in the first place (not for mail order) and then when I tried to get it filled at the local pharmacy I had problems with the fact that a specific dosage of units per day was not written and wasn’t allowed to have my doctor call it in, where I went through their prescription line. There I wasn’t even answered and called the following day as I was approaching my last reservoir of insulin. I was told that I didn’t need to leave a message for my endo and that someone will definitely call me in the evening…which they did not. I call ed around to local pharmacies to see if they had a problem with the way that the prescription was written and found a pharmacy that would honor it. Then as I went to pick up my prescription my former pharmacy, they were starting to feel generous enough to call my doctor! WTF? I took my business elsewhere. So I wrote my endo a letter about my pump session and appended behind it my letter about my inability to get my prescription. I was respectful. But almost a week later I am served up a phone call from my endo who was more concerned that I didn’t take this matter up with the front desk because my complaint is with them. Double huh? Then she proceeded to say I “knew better” and ended the conversation (one which I couldn’t interrupt her when she was far off track, but she repeatedly halted me) with an “Are we clear?” Excuse me doc, but I am certainly not your child.
My doc-patient relationship was fine…until something happened. She did not care nor was sympathetic and I was expected to basically shut up and follow her complaint protocol. Your endo has given you way more respect than mine has in the last several weeks. (and I am glad for that)
@ Elizabeth - I’ll definitely have to try your method. I need to learn to be more “hard-■■■” to make sure I don’t get bulldozed. And your right that this center is a business and our insurance pays them well. Not that it entitles me to treat them like garbage (which I have NEVER done).
@Mike - Will try to take your advice of following up until I CAN speak with someone.
I have been “interviewing” new docs since my CNP was fired. It has been an eye opener. One doc didn’t want to see me, he wanted to see my paperwork first…what to determine if on paper I was a good person, in need of his care? Well, he got on the LONG list first…he won’t be seeing me. Unfortunately, the second doc was good enough and we had a nice visit, but her strength was not one of treating diabetics. She was more a “young mothers” doc…and I’m way past having kids. So in looking at the situation from a distance, I realized I had almost a perfect situation. I had the best educational process for diabetes, I had a group of people who understood my needs, my temperament, and my medical problems. I didn’t have to move, I just had to get used to a new CNP and she to me. But I did have to step up and tell her what I wanted, how I wanted to work this relationship…and she needed to tell me the things she needed from me to do her job. You are entirely right, we do have to stand up for ourselves and our needs. We are the bosses, the organizers of our care…just because they have letters after their names, it doesn’t mean they are better than we are…we have letters too, mine are
Cathy Jacobson, P.E.R.S.O.N
I do not know where you all go…but the only problem I have had is that because my endo is so good, he has gotten really busy. Took me 6 weeks to get an appointment, and I was one of his origina patients when his practice started up! My hospital diabetes center is great…and whenever I am in the hospital for other reasons, someone always stops by to visit…and no charge for them to do that. I wish everyone had such good doctors and educators to work with. Mine are super!
I love you ! You keep on fighting back, sister ! Those people work for you, and not you for them… God, how I wish they got that through their thick, white coat, latex gloved, skulls.
I’m not sure if this will help/work for you. Whenever I’ve had any kind of problem anywhere for any reason. I ask to speak with the office manager. It has always been the most direct line to rectifying the situation for me.
But then I’m not at a loss for words. Probably because I worked in medicine. Labels don’t inhibit me. I’m respectful and courteous. But I know these people were human. Just like me. Before they became Gods and Godesses.
I’m also not afraid to fire people. After all, they do work for me. I’m the boss of my health care. That doesn’t mean I’m non-compliant.
Man oh man, do I know what you mean. I am in a rehab center for a below-the-knee amputation and, as a matter of policy, I was assigned to a doctor I didn’t even know. After a month and one-half, I got sick. Started with a froggy voice, then I almost totally lost it, then I got a horrid big dog barking cough that wouldn’t go away. I think the nurses didn’t even tell the DR about it for about a week and then I had to insist they ask for meds. Got some from a different DR at the home but they were only supposed to last a week. I got sicker with on and off temps of over 100. During that time, both the DR and his PA didn’t deign to even talk to me let alone visit. By law, the DR is supposed to see me every 90 days and the PA once a month. Neither of them shined around at all in the first 3 months! I even voiced my concern to the nurses to no avail. So, I told them I was going to see my own primary physician the next day and you should have heard the uproar. Oh I CAN’T. The assigned DR has to see me unless it is a specialist referral because the 2nd DR wouldn’t get paid. The DR I didn’t want had to sign off his appointment to see me and my original primary had to sign that he would see me. OK, so I didn’t get to see him that Friday. Instead I had to make an appointment for Monday. On that day, by the way, I couldn’t get my cough to sound phlegmy like it did before. BUT the PA did believe me and prescribed something to help. Now I am under the care of a DR and PA that I’ve known for well over 10 years. I didn’t warn them or anything. They knew what the law required of them and they didn’t even have the common decency to visit a sick patient. I let them sit and get paid for nothing for 3 months, now it was my turn for vegence.and, boy of boy, did I ever get the ultimate revenge. They won’t see another penny from me!!!
Just to clarify… Being hardass doesn’t mean being rude or disrespectful. I am an avid fan of Miss Manners and my feeling is, if I can be way more polite than the person treating me rudely could ever DREAM of being, and keep my cool in the bargain, I have the upper hand. Especially since I then have trump card of saying, “Excuse me. I have said nothing rude or personally insulting to you in this entire conversation, so would you please explain to me why you’re yelling at me/treating me rudely? We are both adults, and there’s no reason we have to act uncivilized.” If they have ANY shame at all, that usually gets 'em.
@ Elizabeth - Asking them to justify their behavior is like a fire extinguisher. I just need to be more conscious of using this tactic as the situation presents itself…I think there lies my trouble.
