Emotional Ouch

It hurts that I can’t help him deal with this. When someone you love (who has a fear of needles) has to inject himself with insulin however many times a day, it isn’t the greatest feeling, especially when you can’t relate to what he’s going through to try and make him feel better. Through our first year together, he was depressed a lot, mainly due to his diabetes (I’ve heard this is common to teenage Type 1’s?). He would say that he wishes that when he took off his medic alert bracelet, the disease would come off too. Sometimes he would let me give him his insulin, but it kinda doesn’t feel that great to stab the guy you’d do anything for with a needle, even if you know its how he stays alive. I go with him for the Walk to Cure Diabetes here in Calgary, donate money, have my parents go door to door (they offered), and am considering shaving my head and using the money to go to Diabetes Research (the hair would go to Cancer, which I’ve had two close friends die of). Diabetes runs in my family history too, but right now I think I just need to try and see what I can do to make him feel better, without making him feel stupid, or bad-different, or “needy” (I can’t think of the word right now). I know that he knows I love him whether or not he has it, but I know that the fact I love him isn’t enough to eliminate the disease.

Up until this point that you mentioned it, no I hadn’t, but thanks for the idea! I might have trouble bringing him - do you think that asking him to go with me would make him feel awkward? He still doesn’t even know about this website (I think he should, but I don’t really know how to tell him all my diabetes thoughts or questions or misconceptions) and I think that maybe asking him to go to a class would make him assume something is wrong, or that I have a problem with his diabetes or something (which I certainly don’t, the only problem is how to talk about something so touchy with him without him blaming himself, which he’s done for a long time). I’ll definately consider it if I ever spark up the courage though! (And until then I suppose I’ll be writing in this blog, somewhat behind his back.)