I used to worry and wonder how I got that high #. Now I just correct it ASAP and go on from there. As long as most of the time my #'s are in range I don’t beat myself up ( mentally) about it. Every diabetic has an off day or period of time that the #'s are high. It is just a # it’s not who I am.
I have always found that a high number is like a “D” on a report card. I’m loathe to even write them down because - yeah - I’ve always looked at it as a numerical representation of failure. Now that I think about it, anything less than steady and near-perfect BG numbers have always triggered feelings of failure and negativity in me.
If I get the odd high number that I just can’t account for, it doesn’t make me happy about the situation but I don’t beat myself up over it. I accept that things like that happen and move on.
OTOH, if I have a high number that I can clearly account for, it’s my responsibility. I own it. I have to approach it that way because, otherwise, I won’t feel like I have any level of control over my d. If I can’t take responsibility for my high numbers, then how can I possibly feel like consistently good numbers have anything to do with me either?
I don’t feel like I’m a bad person, or question my self worth as a person, but I have to accept that my metabolism is broken and I have to know where the outside of the envelope is. If I ate too much, or had too much of the wrong thing, or miscalculated my dose, those are all things I have control over, and if I have a high number then it’s something I messed up. Nobody else can accept that responsibilty and I don’t want to make excuses for myself or allow others to enable that behavior.
That definitely doesn’t stop my mistakes from happening, but it helps me keep my sanity when they do.
I am still early enough in the process (T2 diagnosis in May) to have an emotional reaction to the numbers. It is just so frustrating when you have cut your caloric intake by 50%, your carbs by 75%, lost 50 pounds, and are exercising more than ever, yet see your numbers not going down. I went from metformin to metformin+Januvia, to adding Lantus, to changing Lantus to Humalog 75/25, and still I have readings in the 130-160 range. I guess this is when you really need the support of others.
*When you get a high BS number, what does that mean to you?
It means something’s not quite right with the way my body is processing food/glucose/stress/life.
*Do you look at it as a report card on how well you are doing in caring for yourself?
Yes, generally.
*Does it give your measure as a person?
No…I’m more than a number.
*Does it scare the bejeebies out of you?
Sometimes.
*How do you feel when you get that number?
The good numbers feel soooo good. I feel like things are in sync. The bad numbers, depending on how I feel mentally and physically, can make me feel I’m not looking out for #1.
Right now, I’m frustrated because I can’t seem to get my readings below 150, short of starving myself which is NOT an option. I guess you could say that right now, those numbers are frustrating and confusing.
good attitude!
WOW I am impressed with all of you and your positive insights!! Applause to you and it is refreshing to hear!
For me, only having diabetes for about two years I am always surprised to see higher numbers. I try so hard with all the tools I have to bring them to normal levels and still fail and it still progresses without me changing anything. So the readings affect my mood daily! I am trying to not let it control me but what a challenge. I am so impressed and humbled to read your responses. This is not what I expected when I read the title to this discussion. Thanks to you all!!! I will look up!
Thank you. That advice is a great help to me. Apparently I am my doctor’s “worst” diabetic patient. Not a helpful encouragement!
Some Dr.s bedside manor are horrible. They think the scare tactic works. Its rubbish. I think if your working in the direction of good control that requires demands recognition and commendability. This is not for a second an easy thing to deal with. Dr.s need to give a little credit here.
Was your daughter diagnosed at 23 with type 2 or 1.5?
What a great way of looking at it. Thanks for sharing it.
Cathy, thats a great example,
“my bs can go high if I’ve had a bad first 10 minutes of the day with my dogs. I haven’t done anything yet to take responsibility for, except maybe a reaction to something that they did. My sugars usually go up higher when I am stressed than if I ate something I probably shouldn’t have chosen.”
So essentially, you know that your sugars will go high after a bad 10 min with the dogs, so youll act to counteract that, correct? Ie., your taking responsibility for outside influences. If you didnt correct for that and had a reading of 160 because of it, you wouldn’t scratch your head and say oh well. You would (or at least I would) say darn I needed to correct for that because I knew the situation and had had enough experience to know better. There for, if I dont take care of an outside influence I kick myself, not hard mind you, but enough to build a habit so that I will remember to do it next time.
I tell you what, I forget to bolus before meals a lot, its just a lack of interest at putting it as a top priority. Its lead to higher BS #s than I want because my insulin is “chasing” my food. Its my fault. Im not a bad person, but my control is poor, and am the only one that can correct this. Sure my wife can try to remind me, but I cannot depend on her all the time due to the instance that she isnt with me. So, Ive taken better steps to make it a top priority. In the long term those BS will effect me less, ie., bad BS leads to complications and its all to easy to pass the buck until those complications start to set in.
ONesaint, I believe there are som ethings, undefined, that we don’t have any control over, it just happens.
You may not even notice it, and I think that’s where the 10 mins and stress come in for me…how did I know that my sugars were going to go up? Actually I didn’t know, how could I if I didn’t take two readings during that time. But I don’t think we give outside influences enough credit for some highs and some lows.
But they are worth noting. Sometimes you can do everything right, and you get a high, sometimes you can do everything wrong and get a low. That’s what I am talking about “outside influences”.
We do make choices, making healthy ones for ourselves, isn’t always as easy as saying it. Sometimes we are in control, and don’t notice it. In the new “health magazine” put out by Prevention for Arthritis and Diabetes, the author says just that, sometimes things are just they way they are because they are…we have to take them and work with them as that.
I get upset with myself but I always look at the A1C as a report card on how well I handle my diabetes.
Couldnt agree more on all counts, Cathy. I try to live by the stuff happens rule. It really does just happen sometimes.
Also, re your example, I meant for the next time you spend a bad 10 min with the dogs, you know more about what to expect in your BS. That said, I hate those random highs. sometimes I do have a great day and bang, 50 addt mg/dl. Why? No idea. Oh, it angers me so, but in that case as you state, its not my fault, just stuff happening.
I love your nutritionist, I wish someone had told me that over the years, for a long time my team was of the old school good diabetic/bad diabetic and it has affected me my whole adult life
Usually my first reaction is shame (even though I am now a grown adult), then crossness/irritation and a bit more disappointment, then WTH caused that and gotta stomp on this then :0)
only when I eat cheesecake and brownies! But I NEED cheesecake everyonce in a while!
Thats how I look at it. A high number can put me in a funk, but I try and figure out what I did that day or what food fooled me. But the report card for how I have been doing is the A1C.
My daughter feels extremely bummed and think it’s unfair (of the sugar gods, I guess).
I think, “Crap! What the heck did I eat this time to run the number this high?”