Epiphanies

Recently, I have decided that I am not hiding my diabetes any more. I have found my voice after many years of hiding it. I have shared my decision to go on the pump with many of my friends, several who didn’t even know I was diabetic. With the pump and the Dexcom attachments, it is a little harder to hide than a pen. Tonight, at my daughter’s basketball game I had two epiphanies.

My youngest daughter, who is quite athletic, made my heart smile tonight. She will end up playing varsity for four years in each sport…softball, basketball, and soccer. So far, she has been elected captain in softball and basketball. (I am a little proud of her) But as I watch her play toward the second period, I saw her standing there, as a referee was making a call. I knew that stance too well. She was having the beginning signs of asthma. As the opponent player miss her first free throw, I caught my daughter’s eye, and she knew that I knew. She turn to her coach, and gave him the sign that she needed out.

She has suffer with asthma and some other medical conditions, all her life. She struggles with the cold weather, pollen, exercise, and every cold she catches. When she was younger, a simple cold would land her in the hospital. When she was nine, she was once classified as failure to thrive. Her well day daily medication consists of seven different prescription that keep her from wheezing. But all this time, she insisted on playing sports. She would wheeze her way down the field. Her soccer coach would scream at her, you okay Stoner, you want out? And her answer was almost always NO!

As she left the basketball court, I saw reach under her chair, and take a few puffs of the magical dust of albertol. As soon as she was done, she turn to her coach, who ask her some question. He then waved her back in. There she was, eager to get on with her game. She has never hid her asthma. She takes puffs her medicine when she feels like she needs it, and she never once cared who saw. I have even heard her explain to a random person who ask if she was doing drugs, “Well, yeah, I am a Stoner” Then laugh and say “I have asthma, and this helps me breath. You know breathing is something I like to do”

There it was. Why haven’t I notice that before? Why have I insisted on hiding this? What is the difference between me and the big D and her and the big A? And then it slapped me in the face. ATTITUDE It was her attitude about it. I didn’t want to be judge. She just didn’t care if you judge her, she just wanted to play ball.

As the game ended the third quarter, I was surprise to see an old friend had shown up to watch her play. As we hug, she hit my dexcom transmitter that I wear on my arm, and she ask, “What is that?” Yes, she is one that didn’t know about my hiding my diabetes. As I explained, she began to ask questions. She was shocked to learn that there were different types of diabetics, and what to know the difference. I explained, and she asked more questions, including some about an eight year old niece who recently was placed on a pump. It was a great discussion. No judgements, just sharing of information.

When I got home that night, the second epiphany hit me. How many times have I missed the chance to educate people about diabetes because I hid it? How many times did I miss the opportunity to educate people the difference on type 1 and types 2? How many times did I miss the opportunity to advocate on the importance on a cure?

But all that has change. I have found my voice. It is loud and clear. And I don’t care who ask me. I now know that I can stand and say “Well, I am a Stoner, and I shoot up insulin to live. I kinda like living, you know” But there is one more important question that needs to be addressed.

How many times have you miss the opportunity to educate?

I NEVER HIDE MY DIABETES

Stoner, if they don't like, or want my Diabetes around then they dont want me. there is no sense in hiding it. For me that goes for jobs, dating (when I did), and for friends. If I could not have diabetes I would. But that is not a decision I made so I cant fix it. If in order to be around me i have to not have diabetes then I guess they cannot around me. Their loss because I am a neat guy.

A nice description of your thoughts! Thanks for sharing!

I was going to get my diabetes tattoo after the first marathon I ran, to celebrate, but then I figured it would be more fun to have during the marathon and went and got it right before the training started, since training is too sunny to really have a new tattoo going on. I'm always really open about it. It's sort of cool b/c a number of my coworkers have reached out to me for advice. None of them follow it but it's nice to be considered sort of an authority I guess?

Stoner, I am soooo happy that you have finally found your voice. It is our duty to educate every single person out there, and i am so glad you joined our little "Army" of D-Advocates!!
Better late than never, you will make a great educator!
Take care

Good for you :-) I wouldn't worry about the missed opportunities, just do it now when you feel like it...

Here here!!!

I have been T1 FOR 61+ years. I was ashamed of it for more than 20 years. I have chatted with many diabetics over these many years and never once did any of these people tell me that they also tried to hide it. The is the very first time I have heard of someone else being ashamed of their diabetes.
Thank you so much.
I wish we could discuss this issue at length.

Dearest Jim, I am glad you can understand where I was coming from. I have hid my diabetes for over 18 years. But, I wouldn’t say I was ashamed of being diabetic. I just at some point got tired of explaining. My family kinda went overboard when I was first diagnosed. When I am with my mother, she still asks me what time do I need to eat. I still have family members who constantly judge what I eat, or tell me when I can eat. They still ask me randomly if I have check my feet lately. I know they care, and they worry about me, but it annoys me. I wish it didn’t. I cringe every time they ask, well, how is your diabetes? The sad part is, even if I told them that my last AC1 was a 5.9, they really would have no idea what I was talking about. And to be honest, after all this time, I just am tired of trying to explain it to them and reexplaining it to them. They don’t hear what I tell them.

I have an attitude that diabetes is what it is. Deal with it, and move on. No big deal. I can’t change it. I CAN try to control it to the best of my ability. My success or failure to control is my problem.

The good part is my husband’s family gets it. They don’t judge. When I first explain it to them, they understood, they asked questions, and then shrugged and said ok. Recently, I was having a bad roller coaster of a day. I had fixed dinner, and they had come over. I was headed for a third crash(low bg), and was snappy toward other people. When I realized I had really snapped at my husband, I immediately apologized, and explain my roller coaster day. My mother-law patted me on the back, and said “I know these types of days are hard. I can only imagine that swings like that make you feel tired and drained physically and emotionally.” I wanted to cry I was so touched by her simple jester. Whereas, my family reactions would of been (accusingly) well, what did you eat, did you take too little insulin, did you take too much, you should go lay down, should you call your doctor, how could you mess up that bad, you shouldn’t eaten that, and you ate too much, etc.

I guess somewhere along the way, I assumed wrongly that most people would react like my family. I didn’t want my friends to judge me too. Since my family failed to understand that sometimes you just can"t control what diabetes does to your body. That sometimes, a high bg has no reason. That sometimes, silly betes has a mind of its own, no matter how hard you try. My family just doesn’t get it, and I assumed wrongly, that most people would fail to get it too.

While most people don’t get the day after day of controlling diabetes, most people can understand what it means. No one really understands it unless they live with it 24/7. The only people that understand it and don’t have type one diabetes, are the parents of young type one diabetics.

Now I don’t mind explaining it to people. I have had many teachable moments lately. Even tonight, as I was calculating carbs, one of my daughters friend ask why I had to count carbs. I explain that for every carb I counted determine how much insulin I would need for my meal. She thought for a moment and stated that, what a pain that was. I laughed, and told her she was pretty much right. It is a pain, but I like to eat. And sometimes, you just shoot up a lot of insulin because sometimes, you just need to eat cake, and have ice cream too!

Thanks for sharing your story!!!

And the last text up here, was great to read. Can understand well what you mean and what it can feel like.

My family has always been supportive just the way you describe your husband's parents. But maybe for the reason that I got it when I was 4, then my younger brother in the age of 3 and then younger sister at 9... so parents have been busy. Therefore I've always probably been very open with my Diabetes.

But. There have been occasions when I have chosen not to talk about it just because of the simple reason, that I've been very tired of it, the D. The occasions have been among friends (all of them know my D), when I'm in certain cases have chosen to go to the bathroom to check my BG, just not to raise the question: is everything alright or how is it going... or similar. I know my friends/coworkers etc ask because of "caring", but myself can be in the state, that I just want to have a rest from it and not talk about it at all. Just a rest, because it's so around all the time. :)

Within my family though, at dinners and so on, we basically never discuss diabetes... very rarely. I guess since everyone knows the story too well of D... :)