Hello,
I knew that one day it might happen but hoped that it never would. Our 13yo son was diagnosed april 29 this year with type1. From the beginning he has taken everything in stride and never complained which is amazing to me. He is very responsible in all aspects of his diabetes care. Getting to the point, he is on the omnipod and this morning he thought he confirmed his bolus after breakfast. 2 hours later we checked out of habit and he was 400. We checked the pdm and he had not delivered the bolus. My heart sank. As his mom, I should have checked the pdm. All I could think about was I was destroying everything he has accomplished since his diagnosis. His A1C was 10.6 when diagnosed and the most recent one was 6. I know things like this happen, but how do you get over the guilt? He is so brave and was comforting me when I was upset. It was just one time and the one time was enough.
Don't let him beat himself up, don't beat yourself up. I mean I know it's hard, my latest a1c was 6% and I would be heart broken if I messed it up but at the same time I can't beat myself up over it because this disease is kind of a daily battle and doesn't end where accomplishments and the little things matter most. If he can still maintain otherwise better blood sugar than that, it should make him feel better? If you get what I mean? Don't feel like it's quite impossible to turn it around since I still think it's possible to maintain a good a1c even with one bad number, I had a 294 between my last a1c and recent one and a few 200's even on insulin which was higher than usual for me and I still got a 6% . I know it's not 400 , but for me, above 200's very high since starting lantus even.
Thanks Senorium139,
I get when you're saying.
i am a t1, got it as an adult. i do not envy you as a parent of a t1, having to keep them safe and healthy. it must be one of the hardest jobs ever and i cannot imagine the anguish suffered by parents of chronically ill children! i am sure you are doing a wonderful job.
youre not the worst parent ever, these things are going to happen. we all will forget to bolus, pumps malfunction, glucose tabs are left on the kitchen table before we go out, no one gets it right every time!
i hope your son is feeling better-400 must feel pretty bad!
dear latech
i think there is one thing you have to learn as a parent of a t1d:
it is IMPOSSIBLE to always have good numbers. i have been diabetic for almost 10 years now, am 18 years old and still forget to bolus sometimes. those high numbers occur, and they are not going to crash the whole good a1c if they don't last too long.
your son is only gonna learn not to forget if he forgets and sees the consequences.
don't destroy his good will by being that hard on him or yourself.
i am very impressed by your son's good attitude about D, and it is important that he keeps it, wether his numbers are good or not. in the coming years there is a lot to come, with the honeymoon ending and no insulin from the pancreas at all the diabetes is becoming harder and harder to control. my last a1c was 6.8 and i was very happy about it.
it is not about the numbers
( http://www.tudiabetes.org/profiles/blogs/by-the-numbers-1?xg_source=activity )
but about all the work you put in and the good will!
Do me the favor and don't feel that bad about that one BG, its not the end of the world!!
wishing you and your son all the best in the future
SC
I've had Type 1 for 22 years, since I was 9 years old. Things like forgetting boluses, bad sites, getting sick will happen and will cause highs. One single high isn't going to ruin your son's health or his A1c. If he were going on a daily basis then that's different, but a single high is just a blip in the grand scheme of things that will have essentially no overall impact. A 6% A1c is fantastic for a teenage and, in fact, lower than I myself have ever achieved. It sounds like you are both doing great!
Thanks to everyone for the kind words and support. I really appreciate it.
I agree with this entirely! I'm glad I got it as an adult , considering how I was already a sickly child I can't imagine my mom being able to handle it if I had t1d as well. Parents of children (regardless of if they're 3 or 13) with diabetes have strength I don't even feel like I have as an adult with it. Things happen to the best of us though and no one's perfect.
I really wouldn't blame yourself, you are definitely not the worst parent at all. I'm type 1 diagnosed as an adult for 1.5 years or so now and I have made mistakes also. It happens and as people say it is just one number, you just correct and move on to the next thing you need to do. No need to beat yourself up or him to feel bad etc. He could get a high number like that without an error also, it happens. My A1c has been 4.7-5.7 for the past few tests and I had quite a few spikes here and there that I thought would affect it but they didn't. I think as long as most of your numbers are in normal range and you're not high for long periods you are good. You correct the high, drink some water and do some exercise or something, check for ketones too just in case at that number and move on:) Btw I think the worse mistakes are not forgetting to bolus but overdosing. I did that once when I though I injected 8 units of my basal and instead had taken the fast acting.
Worst parent ever.... I think not. The worst parent ever would be indifferent to their child's care. The worst parent ever would not be so deeply concerned about not being perfect every time.
Your level of concern puts you into the best parent club. The good parents are not perfect just caring. As the other posters have said there is no perfection in Diabetes, There can't be it is way to difficult.
you are a wonderful parent. i've had t1 for 77 years & my bg was 600 once for no known reason.i fixed it & here i am still smiling.
Treat every new day as having a clean slate. Whatever happened, it is past. That way, you keep a bad day from being a bad week.
There are going to be bad days, you just take care of problems as they happen, then put them behind you.
-Lloyd
The "worst parent ever" would:
-- Never bother to check their son's BG or medication
-- Not be the least bit concerned over a spike, whether avoidable or not
-- Not bother to learn about diabetes management, but just let the child fend for himself
-- Not worry about it, period
-- Etc.
Do you do any of those things? No, I didn't think so. So you don't qualify for that label. Not even in the running.
A terrific parent would:
-- Make certain their son had the tools they needed and knew how to use them
-- Not assume that everything was being done correctly, but would periodically check
-- Be VERY concerned when the numbers weren't "good"
-- Reach out for assistance and/or reassurance when things didn't go according to plan
-- Etc.
Do you do those things? Yes, that's what I thought, too.
Now, verbal theatrics aside...
I have been trying to subdue this beast for the better part of 20 years. Recent A1c's are in the 5s, but it wasn't always that way. This is a constant learning experience that never ends. Both our tools and our knowledge keep growing and improving, day by day and year by year. Flat statement: it is impossible to do this 24 x 7 management job perfectly without mistakes. It can't be done, any more than you can drive a car for years and never make mistakes. It's just not in the cards.
And as others have also pointed out, an occasional spike will not significantly damage the A1c. I know. Been there, done that -- more times than I care to admit. ;-) It's the ongoing, consistent, conscientious effort that pays the real dividends, and it's obvious from your post that both you and your son know that.
My friend Bob was diagnosed at about the same age as your son, and that was back in the "dark ages" of diabetes -- insulin had only just been discovered. Bob was recently awarded a 75-year diabetes survivor medal by the prestigious Joslin clinic. If that doesn't make my point, nothing will.
One or two strikeouts won't ruin a good batting average. You are both doing this job right. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise -- not even yourself. Especially not yourself.
My son did do a correction and it brought his numbers back down to his normal range. I know that it was one number, and i do have to keep reminding myself of that. I am so thankful that I found this site and have everyone here to give advice and bounce ideas and problems off of. Thanks so much for replying to my post. It is greatly appreciated.
What possible value will that line of CRAZY provide you or your son?
One single time... come on do you REALLY believe that??? Truly? If so that is a FAR more serious problem than ANY number(s) he might have gotten...
You serve nobody with that guilt. That your son calmed YOU down, or that there was anything to be calmed down... that is a GENUINE problem, you must address immediately. You cannot fall to pieces, because of any number... you will make yourself literally insane, dangerously unbalanced doing so.
Diabetes is not something that will be controlled. Responded to, hearded, corralled, but not controlled. Being silly because of any number, being emotional is a dangerous mistake.
Dispassion, detachment, HUMOR, these will serve you well. Falling apart a bad habit, and literally dangerous. Puzzlement, mild irritation, sure, but hysteria such that your own kid....
You gotta do better the next time! 1,000% guaranteed certain there will be a next time of some kind; highs, lows, crazy numbers, inexplicable outcomes... They will happen. How you respond to them is critical.
Ok. I didn't say i had a nervous breakdown or freaked out in front of him. We do take one day at a time. This was the first time he did not bolus (forgot to press confirm on the ldm). We have been very positive with him from the beginning. For us, there is no other way to be. Hysteria, I don't think so. Thanks for your opinion though and your thoughts.
Thanks for clarifying. Thats good news. My concern was what I wrongly envisioned as mom, dad crumbling because of a single number... my bad!
Envisioned "hysteria" e.g. your son comforted you. Sounded bad. Glad I was dead wrong!
I was completely dead wrong... is good news.
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To clarify my point... nobody should ever get hysterical about any number ever, whatever it is... irrational fear becomes the fundamental problem, not the here and now of a single second in time wjich is what any reading represents. One micro second in time. Also fundamentally presumes the reading is not a technical error/mistake... which always must be considered.
The diabetic child "comforting" the parent... nightmare scenario. Simply explaining my perspective. Point is moot, I misunderstood and mom clarified nicely.
We all forget to bolus sometimes - it comes with the disease. It feels like the end of the world the first couple of times but it really isn't. Eventually, he's likely to have a pod failure (or bad site) that leaves him at 400. No one to blame, same result and if caught quickly no material harm.
You and your son are doing very well. For a young teen to get an A1c of 6 is a great accomplishment for both of you. Things happen and all you can do is correct and move on because life moves on whether we want to or not.
Take care,
Maurie