Graduation Part 1
Graduations are for parents. The reason school administers say this is because the graduate themselves have already completed the emotional investment in getting the degree and we figure most others do not really care. Because of that the ceremony is designed to mark the public end of a designated education process. In marking the end, the institution is acknowledging that the graduate made it. The graduate themselves have already marked that accomplishment. It came on the last day of class or in the last class taken. Others are usually more results oriented, so the pageantry of graduation is for parents.
I am getting ready to graduate this weekend. On Sunday I will walk across the stage and participate in a formal ceremony called hooding. Hooding is for candidates who have completed a doctorial or terminal degree program. It is accompanied by another special tradition reserved for these candidates, which is wearing the tassel on the left at the start of the ceremony. Traditionally degree candidates wear their tassel on the right side and move it left to start. Doctoral candidates have already graduated, they have already received their masters so movement of the tassel is not necessary
I bring all this up because I will be graduating this Sunday and of course that makes me happy. However I am also sad because my parents will not be present. My mom passed in August 1986 due to severe complications of diabetes and my father passed in December of 2012. Needless to say dad’s death is still raw. Mom’s death will always be a raw wound. Their passing is rawer this weekend as I go to the ceremony which is designed for the benefit of parents.
In one way I was fortunate, my father in the last months of his life called me Doctor Phillips. Last September when my dissertation was approved it was clear I would graduate in the fall semester, but Dad was so proud he started calling me doctor. Doing that the few times meant more to me to than about anything else. It was a thrill to hear it and dad was proud to say it. Shortly thereafter dad grew very ill and even our routine chats were difficult let alone any pleasurable discussion we might have had.
For me graduation is still a thrill, because of the value my family placed on college education. My mom in particular grew up poor. She lived in public housing a good portion of her life and she knew the meaning of want. Mom was intelligent and because of hard work mom was named high school class valedictorian. Mom renounced her four year scholarship to IU Bloomington in order to marry my father and three years later I came along. My parents were blessed to work in good paying factory jobs and like most factory jobs the work was mind numbing but the pay was great.
Mom was particularly bored and she always dreamed of doing her love which was teaching first graders. Had she pursued her love of education she would have done so.
Dad on the other hand worked was content to work as many as 60 hours per week in a hot dirty factory in order to make his wage. When I wanted to attend college he had trouble grasping why. Dad even said going to work at the factory was a better idea, because as he proved you could do anything for 30 years.
As time went on, even my dad could see the high paying low skill factory jobs were disappearing and because they were, dad came to embrace the idea of education. He used most of my mom’s life insurance money to contribute toward my son’s education and when I received my master’s degree he was as proud as could be. When I told dad I was going to pursue a doctorate, he was excited and was looking forward to graduation. He often said he was going and not just watching on the internet. When my father died last December and it left a hollow place in my heart and it has yet to be filled.
I was a school administrator for almost 16 years and I came to believe the general truth that most administrators believe. Namely graduation is for parents. Well if you parents are not there in person, then who its graduation for? I will discuss that question tomorrow because frankly that question is weighing heavy on my mind.
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Rick