In July of 2015, after almost losing my life to the flesh eating disease, I was diagnosed with T1D. Because of all of the infection, antibiotics, meds, and such, my pancreas stopped working. So, at the age of 51, I learned my future would consist of insulin, carb counting, etc. I did fairly well with everything until this past February, when one of my closest friends was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I turned to carbs for comfort, stopped exercising, and have gained so much weight. I have put off going to the doctor, and well, generally, taking care of myself. Well, my dear friend passed away two weeks ago. I’m feeling so very sad, and so tired. I hear her voice (she was a nurse), asking me, “How is your sugar?”, “Have you eaten?”, “How are you feeling?”. I’m recognizing that I need to change everything. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for myself, and taking action, to feel better…to stop feeling like a lethargic blob. I found this site today, as a gift, as I saw a post from a year ago, when my husband shared the “To love a Diabetic” poem on my FB page. I took it as a sign. I need accountability. I need to hold MYSELF accountable. I need to change everything. Hopefully, I can find some help here. It’s clear to say that I have been living in denial for the past six months. It’s time to wake up. I encourage all sorts of advice here, and look forward to reading, and learning, from all of your experience and knowledge. Make it a great day everyone.
Hi Snetta,
You have taken the first steps, but you need to test to see where you are and go see your Dr. or to the ER if you are really high.
There is a great post here on diabetic burnout, read it…
Most of all, trust in yourself and re-take control. You will feel soooo much better when your sugar is controlled and your life is back in order with the diabetes.
I’ve been testing. I vary, depending on my food intake, anywhere between 70 and 200. Unfortunately, I can’t get in to see my Endo again until February 1st. I just have to make better choices.
Welcome to TuD, @Snetta. So sorry about your friend, it’s so very hard to lose someone close. It would be a wonderful “tribute” to your friend for you to take control of your health – use those memories of her questions to help motivate you!
There are so many great resources on here, and several great books out there to help you on your way. You have come to the right place to get the support and experience you need to attain your goals! Don’t try and change your world all at once, though. Taking “baby steps” to improve one thing, one meal, one exercise session, etc., at a time might give you the best change at success. You’ve got this! And the TuD community is here to help you.
Thank you so much, Thas. You’re right on about the “tribute” to my friend. That’s what I need to focus on, and help guide me, to be the very best I can be for my loved ones. It’s been difficult to watch her husband and children cope with her loss. My loss is so minor compared to theirs. I don’t want my family to have to go through that, so I will do my very best to be “better”. Thank you for your reply.
Just to start you do not need to beat yourself up. There are very few of us that have not gone through a period of diabetic burnout, life’s pressures do not help. I would guess that most that have not experienced this just have not admitted it to themselves.
You have already discovered the key to getting better, you have realized that you need change. I believe you know what to do, all you need now is focus.
We are all here to help, just ask.
I would start with two things.
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Regular testing.
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Take a walk to a shoe store and get a good pair of cross-training shoes. Oh, and elevators and escalators don’t work for you anymore. You don’t have to go running up and down the stairs, but those confounded contraptions are dead to you, doggone it! Oh no… I’ve suddenly become an old-west prospector!
I am sorry about your friend. You and your friend were there for each other. I am glad you found this site. It is great. You are taking some great steps to get yourself going again. Congratulate yourself for each positive. Let us know how you are doing. We have all been there.
Exercise REALLY helps the spirit, in my experience. Start with small attainable goals. If it makes you cry to go for a walk in the freezing rain, do it anyway. You’ll feel so much better when you get back home. The best thing for me is to join a class (specially with a friend). It takes one out of your comfort zone for a little while which is a good thing. Make small moves and commitments to regain control of your life.
Snetta, i am so very sorry about your dear friend. i also lost a very good friend to cancer six months ago and it has been devastating. it was really easy to stop taking care of myself when i was feeling so sad and i just about said “oh, just f*ck it all!” for a good while, like you. at points it has almost been like i was/am on self-destruct mode. i would underbolus/not bolus at all and use that tired high blood sugar feeling to take a nap for all of spain. I:C ratios? who knows, im just winging it.
the best advice ive gotten here is baby steps. choose one thing youre going to do differently and that is not a biggie, and do it every day. right now im checking bg after my meals, which i wasnt doing because, well, i dont know why not. not to see the high number i knew it was going to be there? because i didnt care? i dont know, a bit of both.
i go to the endo two weeks from now to get blood results. i know theyre going to be terrible. i will try to use them as motivation to do better. we have a choice, while our wonderful friends did not. i am trying to remember that now.
the fact that grief comes in waves and takes you by surprise when you think you can deal with everything and have dealt with everything is very unhelpful. dates and places become so significant and can take you off guard, what once passed unnoticed now stands out.
i know that one day we will be able to remember something we did with our friends, something they said, how clever/funny/generous they were, and we will be able to smile and talk about them as if they were right there with us.
take it one day at a time. xxx
Hi Snetta,
I’m so sorry about your loss. Having a range of anywhere between 70 and 200 isn’t that unusual or even that bad for a T1. You just have to begin to bunch more of those readings more in the 80-140 range. You’re really not starting from such a bad place and with some determination and effort I’m sure you’ll be able to get on track.
Maurie
You nailed my feelings to a T. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend too. I will do my best to follow the baby steps too. Together, we will see this through for our dear friends. 
Welcome here. This is a wonderful supportive community for everything from just listening to a vent and sypathising to medical questions where they can share what worked for them.
You absolutely can do this. For your friend, for your family, and for yourself.
Exercise is good. Logging what foods work and which don’t (based on their impact on blood sugars), and then changing your diet slowly will also help a lot.
hugs to you.
I’m very sorry about the loss of your dear friend that is very sad and not having her support it is bound to affect you terribly. You are dealing with a lot. Getting type 1 later in life is really awful, you have had your whole life to know what it is like to live without this disease and you are at an age where other health problems often start to kick in too. Don’t be too hard on yourself. 70-200 is not bad at all really and is as Maury said pretty common for type 1. I hope you get support here and start to do better and to feel better soon.
Snetta,
You’ve taken the first steps thank goodness. I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Do first things first. Test you bg. Post a schedule of when you should test and stick to it. Resume your insulin regime. Dig out your carb counting books or phone apps. Make an appointment with your doctor and please keep it.
Getting back on track takes a lot of work, time, and patience. If you take it a step at a time, your success at each step makes the taking the next step easier and you’ll have more confidence.
Millions of people are fighting the same battle, so you can do it!
Snetta, if it helps, I would be delighted to say my #'s are between 70 and 200. Hopefully, that is the worst of it for you. Your husband being intuned enough to write a poem!!! about caring for someone with Diabetes is huge. So so sorry that you’ve lost a loved one, but please recognize that you are very fortunate and seem to have all the resources to stay healthy and strong. So glad you have found this wonderful site…Good luck to you.
Awww…I wish I could say my husband wrote the poem, but he didn’t. He found it somewhere. I’m so happy to have this site.