I feel so alone in this. It’s so hard for me to keep up. I rarely check my sugar anymore. I’m not taking my insulin as much as I should. I don’t know why, I just don’t. I know what can happen but I just feel so discouraged about all of this. Has anyone else felt this way or am I crazy? I know I need to get it under control…
I feel the same way even though I do test alot and take my insulin (thank goodness for insulin pumps!) but it is a daily struggle for me…I guess its just harder when you feel depressed…cuz you totally don’t feel like doing anything! It’s an endless cycle…have you tried talking to a counselor? I know that helps me…good luck to you
I'd be surprised if there was a diabetic out there who hasn't at some point felt the same way as you do now. Having diabetes is a total downer, but please hang in there and look after your body now. With technological advances currently gaining pace, I'm sure it won't be too long before the so-called "external pancreas" will be doing most or all of the sugar checking and insulin delivery for you, leaving you to get on with the more enjoyable aspects of life on our beautiful planet. x
Wow, I feel exactly the same right now. In fact, I've been really irresponsible about checking my blood sugar in the last week, am skipping insulin doses all together, and eating things I should not just because I'm angry. I'm tired. I'm sick of this. I feel like such a wimp since I've only had Type1 D for 2 years, and I can't imagine how discouraged, angry, and just fed up that people with diabetes for almost their entire lives are. This morning I woke up to blurred vision, and realized "oh sh*^%#t" this needs to stop. So, just gave myself my first insulin shot in several days just now, and I hope I'm coming out of my little pity party that probably is threatening my life. I can't offer up words of motivation for you, since I feel so upset and terrified and sad and almost like I don't really care if this kills me, but it was comforting to see that someone else out there is feeling the same way. Don't feel alone.
Hello Lauren, I know what your going through, as do most people with D. I was diagnosed at the age of 10yrs and it's now nearly 26yrs living with it. For the first year or two I was fine, then it all started to get too much. I started skipping insulin, not eating much, mainly because I hated going low. I did this for a long, long time, during which I felt very ill and depressed. I would think to myself right I must look after myself, but it usually only lasted three months. Even after a few awful DKA's, I still didn't look after myself. Had nobody to talk to, nobody understood apart from a very kind D nurse. Last year I noticed my health was getting progressively worse, I felt ill all the time. I thought it was the beginning of kidney failure, luckily it wasn't. I got such a fright that I'm finally taking responsibility. I did damage my body, I have slight retinopathy and developed arthritis but with my bg under control now, I feel human again. Another thing was the mood swings with the swings in bg, they were unbearable. I hope things get better for you. It is seriously scary when one becomes ill and its so easy to forget. Take it one test at a time, it can be overwhelming but it can only be tackled with small steps. Hang about this site and read other's stories, you're not alone at all.
The great thing about paying attention to your diabetes is that you begin to feel better almost immediately. If you've been skipping insulin and running high for a while you're probably exhausted and feeling like hell. All you have to do is test before your next meal and take the correct dose of insulin and repeat each meal. Just doing that will help you feel better and give you the energy both physical and mental to start taking better care of yourself.
And I just want to add, if you think you might be clinically Depressed, do go and see a mental health professional. Clinical Depression doesn't go away on its own and it interferes with everything we do and in the case of Type 1 can be life threatening. You're much too young to put your life at risk if you can get some help to get better.
Lauren, I love your picture!
Sometimes getting into see one of the doctor's crew, like his certified diabetic educator, can help spur some activity.
Sometimes as one gets into wintery weather a person becomes more down on everything as a whole.
Ask for some help to make it new again. Same old same old gets boring. Shake up the routine!
Another suggestion, Lauren is to find a group of other Type 1's. The value of meeting in person with people who are going through the same thing as you is amazing. Check at local Diabetes programs in hospitals and contact the JDRF branch in your area who will recommend activities or support groups that they sponsor.
Help is here. You came to the right place. StillYoungAtHeart put it very well when he said that doing the right things will make you feel way better.
The tough thing is that we're all built a little different, I think it's chemistry like how our brains release endorphines when we see a blue sky or when we eat something sweet. Sometimes our brains don't release those feel good endorphines as much as they should and we get depressed. Look for things that make you feel good, like puppys, blue skies, smells etc....
I believe you will get out of the rut you're in. You wouldn't have asked for help if you didn't want it. I'm excited to hear you say how great you are feeling after a few days of tighter control. I also believe that a cure is coming so take of yourself and prevent damage so that when the cure is ready you will beautiful, healthy and free of the disease.
If I say "you have to" then this would fit perfectly to this wall of musts you already feel surrounded by. But what about "you can do this"!? Really, we can have 99% of normal life. With kids, with high level jobs and with joy of life. We see people here celebrating more than 60 years of T1 diabetes with just minor complications. It is worth the struggle and you will be rewarded for good control. At some point in my life I have learned to listen to my diabetes first. If I treat my D well it will be kind to me as well (not always but often). Who or what can stop you if your Diabetes is in control? Just your imagination! Grab your life. It is there in your pen or pump!
I've only been diagnosed type 1 for like 6 months and i'm already angry,depressed, and sick of it lol
Wow!! I am blown away by everyone's kind words and encouragement! In January, it will be three years and I cannot believe how difficult it is. At first everything was great, but it's just gone down hill. I know my family and friends have wonderful intentions when they tell me to "just take care of myself", but without having the disease, no one really understands what a person with diabetes goes through (I don't like to call myself a diabetic. I think it's a stereotype and people often get the wrong idea - i.e. "Why don't you just stop eating sugar?" "But you aren't fat! How'd you get it?") Anyway, it is so nice to finally have a group of people who ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND what I am going through. Thank you all SO MUCH for your help! You are all such a blessing to me :)
The stereo type thing is frustrating. If all I had to do was never eat sugar I'ld be fine, problem is I have to eat even when Im not hungry. I'm trying to organize a movement wherein we all make one phone call on November 13th to our local news station or newspaper or radio station asking them to run a story about Dr.Faustmans research to cure T-1.
The idea is a media blitz to educate people about the realities of T-1 Diabetes and the importance of finding a cure.
If your interested in that research go to http://www.faustmanlab.org/clinicaltrial/clinicalt.html
and watch The Journey To Regeneration.
There's also interviews on WWW.Faustmanlab.org
A lot of us have had similar feelings like what you have. I have had my moments where things just did not make sense. Posting in the forum seems like the right step to getting control of things. Sometimes we all feel alone in our experiences but coming here is a good place to talk things through. Take small step back to correcting things. Small steps eventually turn to long distances. You are not crazy. This disease may drive us crazy at times but just try to pick back up slowly. Set small goals that are realistic for you. Take care.
Everyone is right and the information they provide is fantastic. You just need to make the right decision and move along. Zoe is very correct that help for depression may be very important. I fought Type 1 for 40 years before I understood that I needed some help. I must say that it made a huge difference. Look for someone who deals with chronic illness; mine was Type 1, so it was perfect.
Hang in there, baby. We all have tough times, but this community can be a real lifesaver.
I have done the same thing..and even saved money using fewer sticks etc! What happens with me is I think my vision is blurry or my skin burns in an area and it scares me back to being good. Its easy to forget.. It burns like acid every time I inject and I have tried everything. I would love to blow it off. What I do is set a goal for myself to get into better shape as I get older. It helps to post here and remember regardless of what you have been doing, tomorrow you can wake up..check your blood sugar and take your meds.
Diabetes is a ton of work whether you take care of it or not. If you take care of it, you might not have to pee as much, have "tinglies", and you generally improve your odds of a bunch of "long-term" prospects. If you choose not to take care of it, even though it's hard. You probably have all of that to look forward to. If you "win", you get to be old and then all that sort of stuff happens to you anyway but it tastes delicious!
Almost 4 years ago, I wrote a post on TuDiabetes that was more or less the sentiment you’re getting across. My A1cs were averaging around 10, I always guessed my bloodsugar based on how I felt and estimated boluses/injections. I’ve always had a pretty… let’s call it “laid back” approach to diabetes. But since 4 years ago, slowly but surely my A1c averages went down to 8s, then 7s, and now 6.6
Three years in is not a very long time, so definitely cut yourself a little slack. A lovely lady named Kristin passed on a piece of advice that stuck with me, and I quote, “WHENEVER you see a high blood sugar on that meter, say out loud, “I’M GLAD THAT I CAUGHT IT!!” and correct it. Sounds silly, but it trains you to have more positive testing experiences.”
While that doesn’t solve your problem of getting you to check more, it will hopefully contribute to making it a more regular habit. Attitude is practically everything!
I have to admit, there are usually a string of days each month that I stick it to diabetes and get a little lazy, hardly check, and I guesstimate everything. The trick is that those days are fewer in comparison to the days where I develop rough routines and check/log regularly.
It starts with just one day of detailed logging. Even if you feel restricted on that day and end up kind of falling off the wagon by the end of the night, progress begins with a pen-- an ink pen (maybe not for everyone, but that’s what helps me).
I wish you the best and if you ever need anything, you’ve got me and this whole wonderful community.
I know how you feel. I am the same way when it comes to taking my insulin. First off, i hate needles.Second, being so busy with work and bills etc, find myself putting my health on the back burner. I know what the consequences are if i dont take care of myself but i still somehow seem to ignore that. I am 32 and being stuck in my ways its hard to ,make such a drastic life change. well, i believe this is a good place to start. Hope things start to turn around for you. Take care