Just A Spectator

Sometimes, we have moments that feel like Diabetes is talking right to us. In these moments, it doesn't feel like we're the ones with our hands on the steering wheel - instead, it's Diabetes, and he's self-centered, mean, and untimely. And, sometimes - he's just downright cruel. It doesn't happen often, but even the most optimistic diabetic knows The Voice:

No, actually, you really can't do everything everyone else can. Not all the time. You see, I'm the one in charge here. I'm the one who decides if you're getting a full night's sleep. I'm the one who decides what you're eating (or not eating) today. Want to exercise? Not unless I give you the signal... you could try anyway, but you'll only make things worse. I call the shots. I come first. You have to make your plans around me.

You have to give me the attention I require, or I'll throw a tantrum. I'll give you a headache, take away all of your energy and patience, make you break out in a cold sweat, and embarrass you by hijacking your motor skills. I'll make your hands shake so badly that others notice. I'll drain the color out of your face, and numb your tastebuds. I can do all of this with no warning, too. I hold the power here, not you. You're just the spectator!

If you don't plan ahead, I'll lash out. And, sometimes, I'll lash out even when you think you've planned for every possible scenario. Even when you've paid careful and diligent attention to me all day long. Even when it doesn't make any sense for me to misbehave. Even when you were just fine half an hour ago.

I'll wiggle my way into every decision you make. You will eat, sleep, and breathe me. And, even when you do, I can still betray you. After all, you're just the spectator.


I know what you mean. I kept trying the "I can eat what I want as long as I bolus for it."I Doesn’t work, too hard on my body if I overeat carbs. Nasty stinky Diabetes!

totally true. and I really feel it this summer. it seems like the heat has added an extra hammer. Before D I could take the heat. I could feel my feet. I could sleep through the night. I could drive without my hands going numb. I could think about what I wanted to think about. A long list of “befores”. Its hard to lose control of these kinds of things.

I’ve been thinking about this lately. Looks like we’re on the same page. Have heart.

so well written. so true.

Hit the nail on the head!!! :0)