I have been very good at following m y program, but I think I hit a speed bump and somehow got sidetracked in the last two weeks. Maybe it’s the holidays, (poor excuse) maybe it’s the emotional baggage of the season (my parents have both passed within the last four years and this is tough for me),
maybe I am just plain tired of the regime. I don’t know. Yesterday, I did have a tuna sandwich, the only healthy thing I ate all day, and it made me sicker than I can tell. I’ll never eat tuna again. I don’t need a kick in the pants, I need a comforting shoulder that tells me I can get back on track, I can manage to maintain and keep this up for another 30 years. The stress of getting my oldest son healthy and back on track 1300 miles away is killing me, the stress of getting him home for Christmas is still looming over my head. I don’t know how to deal with this stress…it doesn’t go away…it’s always there. I trust that God won’t give me more than I can handle, but all of this put together
Stress, constant pain, diabetes, losses, money, loneliness is killing me. How do I deal with it all?
Life goes on and so will I. But first, I have to get back on track with the most important health issue I have this moment … the big “D”.
Cathy, it does sound like you have a lot going on right now, and my heart goes out to you! I know the feeling very well, of wondering how to get through another day when all I really want to do is go back to bed and hide under the covers.
When I’m at a low point sometimes it helps to remind myself that the sun still rises every day, and that all I ever really have to handle is one moment at a time. Like yesterday I spent the day running around and wrapping presents, and then my partner left for an event I was too tired to attend, and I found myself alone in the house with an open box of chocolate covered cherries … You can imagine the rest. All I could do was get on the treadmill to walk off some of the carbs, and decide that today would be a new day … You can always get back on track for a day or even just a few hours, and in the end, that’s all any of us can do anyway – just live each moment as it comes.
You are not alone and you will be OK no matter what. I’m sending good thoughts and Christmas peace your way!
What is it that helps me get on track?
A slow deep breath - every hour or two - with my eyes closed to the world outside, during which I count till I can’t breathe in any more – then a slow letting it out – and another, and another, til I’m feeling at peace.
Then a cleaning out of the frig til there’s nothing in it that I can’t put into my diet in small amounts. The shaved ham, the low carb 5-6 gram bread, the mayo, the diabetic friendly yogurt, the eggbeaters, the Morningstar breakfast links, the chicken pieces for stir fry, the blanched almond flour for muffins – the Russel l Stover sugar free chocolate delight granola bar, the SF jello puddings.
Then a posting of the menu for the next few days so it’s set in stone with fun low carb deviations only.
Then a walk around the neighborhood to talk with a neighbor or two – sharing their problems helps me feel thankful that I have problems that can almost be controlled. And a cup of tea or coffee with that.
Then a testing so I can do a correction if needed to put me in my zone…
And a fast moving book to read to fill my mind with something else.
These are my comfort things. Which reminds me of Mary Poppins’ song which lightens my heart…
Cathy, we cry on each other’s shoulders and it helps us to move on.
Lots of shoulders here, so vent away. No kicks in the pants. Think we all kick ourselves far too much to have other people adding to the thrashing!
You can & will get back on track. Don’t think about the next 30 years. The best way I have is to work with today. Today, I will do this. Stress is a killer. So sorry.
Big hug across the miles:) We all know how you feel and have been there. Know you are loved and that things do get better and make dealing w/ D easier. For me, being here on Tu has helped immensely…so, know you can always email and find someone, any hour of the day to help you through a rough patch. It will get better…day by day, blood sugar by blood sugar, one choice at a time. Take care and ask if you need anything:)
i have had diabeties for 25 years. most of the time i am a bad diabetic. really. i don’t exercise because i have a bakers cyst in my left knee, painful, my right big toe has been infected for about 5 years most of the time. my sugar was over 1000 a year ago in september, nearly died, ketoacidosis the whole nine yards. sometimes i feel so alone its awful. i live with and take care of my mom. she bottoms out a lot. so still i have a lot to be thankful for, i got over the sky high sugar, my mom gets over her low ones. we have each other. so i am always here. you can talk to me any time… some one once told me i would die if i had to take shots, well i take 4 a day and if i don’t i probably would die. thanks
I can say that almost everyone of us who have been diabetiv for than a year, have fallen off the wagon. When that happens, there is only one thing to do, get up, dust off, an get back on the wagom. It is a normal thing and desipite the circumstrances we just have to go on.
rick
PS: Oh, and as for tuna, yuckers !!! I dont care for the sutff myself.
A big big warm hug for you Cathy… youre not alone. So many shoulders here to cry on. And so many arms so ready to hug you. Hang in there. we all have our moments. You can do it =) God bless you…
we’ve all been there and it’s really hard to pull yourself up, but you can do it!!! this website is full of strong people and you are one of them!! sending hugs and prayers to you!!!
Hey, Cathy. So sorry that this is a rough time for you right now. So many people struggle through the holidays - all these expectations of how life is “supposed to be.” We’re here for you however you need us to be.
Remember that each of us gets one pass through our lives and none of us fits the mold for how it was “supposed to be.” I always try to tell myself that when I feel that outside pressure for things to be a certain way - whether it’s my diabetes, or where I am in my life, or my family, or whatever. I always tell myself that there’s not some alternate plane of existence where there’s a happier me doing everything right - there’s just this one and I am going to have to muddle through. It helps me take the reins again.
I hope that you just have a better day today. And then I hope tomorrow goes better, too. Maybe just take one thing at a time. At least here we’re a help to the loneliness, right? I definitely use my TuD community to help with that!
