Anna,
Hope you’re feeling not alone because your discussion has opened up some interesting dialogue & people here care about you.
You’ve been dealing with diabetes longer than I have, but wanted to ask how you treat your lows. The best advice I got was eat something that only had 1 carb of sugar so I wouldn’t go overboard & over shoot my target. Most glucose tabs have 5 carbs & often that was too much for me. I found ones that only had 1 or use jelly beans (cheaper) because they’re pure sugar with only 1 carb each. I also don’t like jelly beans so I’m not tempted to eat too many. Easy for me to count out jelly beans when I’m in a low sugar fog, too, since 1 jelly bean will raise me 10 points.
I hate the highs, too. I feel much worse when my BG is high than when it’s low. I think I must have been hypoglycemic for years prior to being diagnosed, now that I know how to recognize lows. I think I got used to being low–not good.
Want to second Mady’s suggestion of a low carb diet & recommend checking out Dr. Bernstein’s book “Diabetes Solution.” With your overwhelming fear of highs, this will help you be more in control–you can avoid the highs without going too low. In case you’re not familiar with Dr. B’s philosophy of the Law of Small Numbers, it states that small amounts of carbs with corresponding small amounts of insulin prevents big mistakes–too high or too low. With larger amounts of carbs, it’s harder to dose insulin appropriately & the risky mistakes (high & low) are greater.
I’m Type 1 also. With the exception of a thin piece of multi grain (really coarse stuff) once in a while, or high fiber crackers, I avoid all grains. It’s just not worth how much insulin it takes for me to handle this. I can handle small amounts of berries, but other fruit sends me sky high.
I follow Dr. B’s dietary suggestions–protein (mostly fish, eggs & cheese), low carb veggies in controlled portions, olive oil, butter, coconut oil & nuts for fats. It’s hard for me to gain the weight I need to, so I’ve been slowly adding more protein. I’m never hungry, though I was a carb junkie before.
I space my meals 4-5 hours apart & try to eat pretty much at the same time & same amounts every day. Yea, talk about being obssessive/compulsive! But, it’s the only thing that has given me some control.