You are wonderfull - Here si 2 things someone sent me once. The poem was sent via emails with cwd forum by someone. I cry everytime I read it.
7790-AMomsPRomise.doc (24.5 KB)
7791-101WAYSTOPRAISEACHILD.doc (21 KB)
Hi Sarah
I sure feel your pain. Iām Type 1 DM for 20 yrs, on pump at least 10 yrs. Just added used Contin Glucose Monitor System on Minimed pump ab 14 months ago.
I also have a 12 yr daughter with positive antibodies, significant weight issues (100 lbs overweight), eating and sneaking food issues too. Not full-blown DM, though likelihood is high if patterns donāt changeā¦
My advice echoes the advice I recād ā work to become a partner with your child. Adversarial positions only build walls ā and as teen hormones increase, the walls become ever thicker.
The CGMS has been AMAZING!! Reall time blood sugars, a graph of trends, and a tracking system that YOU can download and go over with your child. Could be a HUGE tool to help build the ātreatment partnerā I think you want to become.
I was successful in getting my insurance to cover my CGMS and supplies ā you may be able to get some or all of the cost covered. Especially with the current high spike in A1C!
Also peer group counseling may be valuable if available locally. Or, alternatively, online support.
I wish you and your child well.
Bill
We used the CGMS for a while - my son hated it (I loved it because I could see what was going on) He hated the needle - which was much longer than the pumps infusion, and he ignored the alarms or simply did not hear it.
Hi, Sarah: I am so sorry that you are going through this! Aside from seeking the help of a therapist who deals with chronic illnesses and possibly trying to find a diabetic support group for your son, the only thing I can think of is relaxing the rules regarding eating. You may have already done so. Although it is not conducive of good control, I would let him eat anything and everything he wants and bolus for it. Donāt make judgments for a while about the type of food, timing, how often he eats, how much junk food he is eating ā just let him eat whatever he wants at any time just as long as he covers it. And see if he will test blood sugars before every meal and if he hasnāt done so, every four hours if grazing. Eventually, he will realize he feels like crap if he continues to eat this way. If not, at the very least he is covering for the food. Teenagers often eat a lot of junk and they are very hungry as they are growing so fast.
As a former Assistant Scoutmaster I had worked with hundreds of boys in this age group. What is happening here is puberty. The boys are entering adulthood at a time when many observations are confusing and when rebellion takes place. They want to take care of themselves in their own way. Many times it is the wrong way. You can help lead them down the right path by example. It will take a few years and you will see a dramatic change in personality and confidence.
As far as sneaking food, donāt keep it around for a while. Leave items in the fridge that are better for him to eat, like the fruits and vegetables. Make enough dinner for the family but donāt have leftovers. Instead of soda leave unsweetened ice tea. Forget cookies and chips. You get the idea.
This may be a pain in the *** for a litle while for the rest of the family, but it does work. What doesnāt work is reprimands and accusations. As he matures he will begin to realize his habits now will ensure a better adulthood. I do recommend you check his meter and download the info to examine with him. Meters donāt lie. Show him where the trends are taking his health. He may need to sit down with a diabetes educator instead of a parent to get this work out.
Mike
I am so glad I found this site! I am seriously crying right now lol. My 11 (almost 12 year old) daughter has this same issue, and my husband is in the military. All the doctorās Iāve talked to about it have been of no help, they tell me theyāve never heard of this issue and maybe I just need to discipline her. I couldnāt believe that response, because to me that would only make what ever she is feeling worse. But to know SHE is NOT the only child with the issue helps me out more then you know. Reading through this forum is going to help me talk to her and Iām hoping to let her know now that she is not alone, and maybe she will smile again. Thank you so much for sharing.
Iāve responded previously to this forum - but let me tell you this - as Iām writing this I sit and cry - I am furious. Iām so sick and tired of doing everything myself. It seem as if my son do what he likes. We cannot find the one glocometer (for which I have lots of strips) I think he misplaced it somewhere. He is not here looking for it - no heās out with a friend. I phoned him and said if his not home in half an hour thereās going to be trouble. I have to go now and buy strips for the other meter thatās so expensive and for which I do not have a script so that the insurance can pay. He going on a diabetes camp this weekend. I really really hope it will do him (and me) some good!! I really need a break from him right now because it feels as if I am going to wring his neck!!!
MOM?!?ā¦ohā¦I just read the title and had a flashback.
I canāt stop laughing. Thanks, Dino.
I know, right!
In all seriousness, I was mildly forgetful at 12, but not purposely negligent. Now if the title of the thread was about a 17-year old, then Iād be having some hardcore flashbacks.
Now nobody get any ideasā¦but when I was a young lad I used to (get this) take a few drops of my blood and mix it with a few drops of water in a syringeā¦drop the mixture on my old school Accu-Check strip and it would take like a champ. Voilaā¦āLook mom 95ā¦now pass the potatoes.ā
Yes, I was a bad kid. And I absolutely DID lie because my parents got upset when my BS was high. They used to make me jump on the exercise bike whenever it was above normal. That look on their faceā¦Iāll never forget that āhigh blood sugarā look. Like getting an āFā on my report card.
Lots of guilt, lots of shame, and lots of trickery on my part. And it set me up for a decade of denial and resentmentā¦luckily it all worked out for me in the long run, and everything is peachy with my parents. Butā¦a lot of pain could have been avoided if things were hashed out a little differently.
hi thereā¦
Iām an old cranky 45 year old diabetic at the momentā¦ but there was a time where I was a young cranky diabeticā¦
I was diagnosed in 1970 at age 7ā¦ I did all those things your son is doing now.
Is is good? no
did I live thru it? yeaā¦ (I also never wore a helmet on my bike)
it is extremely difficult for a child to really comprehend what is going on with a lifelong condition that can have serious results like diabetes can. Kids are all about NOW
All he really wants to know is that he is still like all his friends, like all the peeps he knows that help him out when he needs it. He doesnāt want to be different and he just may not be ready to really accept the reality that he is still the same person, he just comes with an added bonus of diabetes. It is so hard at that ageā¦ kids are mean, they can find any supposed weakness and exploit it
But at the same time, kids who are truly his friends will want to know what is going on, want to help him. It will hurt them if he shuts them out.
It is so hard to balance all that for a young man. He can do it, he will need support, but he can do itā¦ when he is ready
Scott
MOM, been there done that, got the T-shirt twice. Well it was a small so I had to get another so I oculd sew them together. How fun.
I have a solution and it is not a good one, but it did work for me. It sounds awful but here goes.
You see what the doc told me when I was young rebellious lad he said look you are a bright young guy and you are messing yourself up. But it is making you sick and tired. Someday you will grow tried of being sick and tired. When you are done being sick and tired you will do what you are suppose to do. Well he was right I got tired of being sick and tired and started taking care of myself.
Now I want to comment one other things. So long as you are worried he can sneak around. You are his backstop. My mom, a type 1 for 18 years when I was diagnosed said look you are a young man, and you have a grown up disease. It really is way to much for a kid. But you have it and no one wished it on you. So you have to grow up to deal with it. No one else can do it. It really sucks that you have it. But its yours, you have to own it. The sooner you do the better off you will be. That meant a lot to me.
Rick
PS: Dino, darn I wish I had mixed the water and blood, nice trick.
I want to, but I donāt have time to read all the other responses right now.
I was diagnosed when I was 6 (now Iām 25) so I know all about rebellion and diabetes!
Diabetes is all about control. Whether it seems like it or not, your son DOES know the consequences of his actions, he knows how it doesnāt feel good to have higher sugars, and most importantly (almost exclusively) he knows exactly how it drives you crazy.
Whatās likely going through his head is "Man, my momma is being annoying! [I love her and always will], but Damn is she a nag! Iāve had diabetes for like 10 years now, and she STILL doesnāt trust me to take care of myself? Anyway, I just tested and my sugars are 250, Yuck, I feel terrible. On the one hand, I could take a correction and feel better in a bit, but how much more independent would I feel if I could just show her that no matter how much she nags [and helps, and supports, and is always there for me and loves me], I will fundamentally always be in control. I am the one with this disease attached to his body - day and night. [ I know that it effects her just as much as me emotionally and that sheās devoted just as much time, if not more than me to taking the best control of it, but heck, Iām almost a teenager - it has to be all about ME!"
Ok, so that is a pretty opinionated quote, and Iām not suggesting that your child has malice towards you, not at all! Iām betting a fair chunk on the likeliness that he just wants to feel like heās in total control. At the same time, he needs to feel like he can come to you for help when he needs it. Basically, he needs to feel like you trust him.
Talk to him, not about diabetes, but about independence and ask him what he needs to feel like he has enough freedom. From there, make a compromise and he will too.
Thinking back, my parents made this kind of shift with me. They explained that fundamentally, how I controlled my diabetes effected me and not them. Because they stopped insisting on seeing my logbook all the time, I stopped hiding it. Before, I needed to feel that I was the only one who could see it unless I gave it to them. When they stopped requiring me to show it to them, I was more likely to leave it lying on the kitchen table or something where it was more public.
Anyway, I empathize with your situation. Itās tough for both sides of the equation. I wish you and your son all the best!
Thank you to everyone who has offered advice!
I wanted to give a quick update on my situation with my son.
He and I did sit down and talk and I asked him what I could do to help suppor thim and take some weight off his shoulders. So now I help him in the morning by weighing his breaksfast cereal for him and writing the carb amount so itās one less thing he has to do before school in the morning. He didnāt really say he wanted me to do much else other than just help remind him when to test like 2 hrs after a high blood sugar and we also did set his pump to remind him and that has helped. I think his endo really helped him when she told him the complications he will face later in life if he continues down this path and how important it is to care for himself and not eat without bolusing. His last A1c dropped down to a nice 7.0 
We were both very happy to see this. He has stopped sneaking foods as far as I know and has actually been pretty good about bolusing when he eats. Occassionally heāll eat and Iāll ask if he bolused and heāll say āoh ya, I was about toā. Iāve stopped yelling at him when this happens and just say āokay, well please bolus nowā and itās helped us from arguing and him feeling like heās being treated like a baby. Heās also really taken charge with doing his site changes. Although lately heās been waiting until his pump has only 9 units or even this morning it had only 1 unit. But at least I didnāt have to tell him to do the site change, he just did it and told me afterwards. I know heās a good boy and at times itās his age and development and entering those awkward teenage years. He and I will continue to work on good communication and I know that he will grow up to be a responsible adult and healthy too.
So thank you all for your encouraging words, advice and wisdom. This really is a wonderful community!
~Sarah
Riette, ask your endo for a spare meter (they usually give them out for free). If you go to a diabetes event, the meter companies are there giving out free meters as well. You will need at least two meters in the house and one at school for him. By now he will have been back from camp, and I hope he loved it, and I am sure you could use a break, hope you got one. Hope a family member or close friend can help you out so you have some down time for yourself. You need this. Teenage years are the rough years with this disease (niece is 12, but still so good, compliant and sweet). How long this will last, I donāt know. Teenagers are bound to rebel. Just somehow have to make sure the rebellion does not take place on the diabetes front. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Yes, kids will lose their equipment, they are absentminded. We have lost meters, cell phones, etc. Just grab a few spares from the endo; Iām sure they will help you out.
So happy to hear this! Glad that your son is not really rebellious, just a bit careless like most kids. I feel, re āsneaking foodā that teens are so active that as long as they check BS before most meals, and in a three hour period, they can graze and cover it with insulin. They can eat a lot more because they are active and if moving around, they wonāt stay high for long. Endo does not agree with grazing, but teens are going to want to eat. It is not the idea situation; but just cover it. In our case, if I know she is going to stay home in the evening, she will have a late dinner with a higher ICR ratio for the meal. Two hours later she will be in range with 1.5 units on board. I can then cover the 1.5 units with a free 15 gram snack. This gives the insulin a head start and she does not spike from the snack, stays in range. Learned this from a parent on CWD board. Can only work if you compulsively check BS at two hour mark. If I used the proper ICR ratio, she would still be too high two hours after eating to have another snack.
Hi Riette~
Just read āA Momās Promiseā- wow does it hit home. Thanks for sharing!
Sally
HELLO SARAH
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU A GETTING SOME GOOD ADIVCE HERE. MY DAUGHTER IS 17 NOW BUT WAS DIAGNOSED WHEN SHE WAS 1 YR.OLD. WE WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING. I STARTING LETTING HER BE IN CONTROL OF HER DIABETIES. WE WENT THROUGH IT ALL. THE SNEAKING,LYING,SOMETIMES THE NON TESTING AND SAYING SHE DID. IT'S REALLY ALL APART OF GROWING UP AND GROWING INTO ACCEPTANCE OF CARE FOR THEIR OWN LIFE WITH DIABETIES. IT WAS HARD TO LET GO. BUT IF I DIDN'T I WAS AFRAID WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE WHEN SHE WENT TO COLLEGE. I WOULD RATHER HER REBEL AND LEARN NOW THEN GOING TO COLLEGE AND REBEL AND I AM NOT ABLE TO GET TO HER. SHE HAS LEARNED TO LISTEN TO HER BODY CUES BETTER AND NOW SHE DISCUSSES WITH ME WHAT SHE DID WITH HER BLOODSUGARS AND WHAT SHE IS GOING TO TO DO TO FIX IT. WHETHER IT WAS EATING A CERTAIN THING OR EATING TOO LESS. SHE HASN'T PERFECTED HER DIET BUT IT MAKES HER FEEL BETTER IF SHE IS CONTROLING IT. I HAVE LEARNED SHE HAD TO FOLLOW SO MANY RULES AT SCHOOL ABOUT HER DIABETIES AND SHE WAS GETTING SUCH FLACK FOR HAVING DIABETIES AND BEING A LITTLE DIFFRENT. THIS MADE HER FEEL LIKE SHE COULD CONTROL SOMETHING. WE HAVE SINCE CHANGED TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL AND LOST THE PROMISE SCHOLARSHIP BUT SHE IS HAPPIER BECAUSE SHE HAS SUPPORT. SHE IS ALSO ENCOURAGED TO PARTICIPATE IN SPORTS. IE, TRACK, VOLLYBALL SHE EVEN HAS TAUGHT A FEW KIDS ABOUT DIABETIES. THE OTHER SCHOOL SHE WENT TO DIDN'T SUPPORT HER AT ALL AND ONE COACH SAID, YA KNOW THIS SPORT WILL BE REALLY REALLY HARD? IT'S SOMETHING I THINK THEY ALL GO THROUGH I THINK. BUT MAKING SURE SUPPORT IS THERE WE CAN CONTROL FOR THEM. I KNOW YOU SUPPORT HIM BUT DOES HE FEEL SUPPORTED WHERE IT COUNTS IN HIS EIGHT HOUR DAY AT SCHOOL? I AM SURE HE IS. JUST WANTED TO THROW THAT OUT THERE SINCE WE WENT THROUGH THIS TOO.
CRISTI