I feel like this is an AA meeting, my name is Erin and I’ve been a type 1 diabetic for 8 years. I have been on the pump 98% of the time and my last A1C was 6.9. I’ve recently just have felt “Out of control” and my family is suffering through it.
At my last doctors appointment, I told Dr. Mazza that my tier for NovoLog has gone up and my prescriptions went from $10 to $60. She told me to try HumaLog and handed me the bottle. I have been on it for a little over a week now and I feel like its bring out the “newly diagnosed” in me. I’ve been having serious lows and got a nice visit from a paramedic on Sunday too. While writing this I do realize that I need to change my pump settings or like my husband said, “go back on NovoLog!”.
This morning, I slept through numerous alarms and didn’t answer the phone driving my husband crazy to where he drove home from work to make sure I was alive. This is what I have a hard time getting people to understand. I understand that diabetes is a 98% “self” disease, meaning that I need to take care of myself, bottom line. But that person at 8:00 am who slept through the alarm and who hit “ignore” when the phone rang was not me. And this is where the “out of control” title comes from. As I said in tears to my husband, “I did not make a conscious decision to turn the alarm off and turn over on the bed to die”, but that’s what I did.
While I writing this a trying to come to my point, I think I’m more upset with this statement that I said to myself “you’ve been doing this for 8 years, why don’t you have it down by now?” It’s scary to think that even 20 years from now my disease could always be changing and my predictions are useless. How scary is that? That makes me feel like a stranger in my own body.
As I wrap this up, there are a few topics I would like to throw out there to see what you all say:
- Does anyone have a daily routine that is only in place for diabetes?
- What, if anything, snaps you out of the fog of a low to realize that your low and it stops you from fighting with the person who is trying to help you?