"Reoccuring Thoughts"

I wish I could understand, Why I am the way I am, So Depressed night and day I wish I could explain the thoughts of suicide reoccuring in my head with every breath I take I wish I was a better person, Someone who could give my husband children I once said, "That I have a heart the size of Texas," but you can only kick a dog, So many times, Before it dies or shatters from all the years of emotional abuse-Not feeling any self worth The feeling of not belonging The feeling of not ever being good enough(There's Just To Many Faults) The feeling that nobody gits it or cares I wish I understood, Why I was born just to be judged by others, Who if the truth be known, Are worse people than I am If I could have one wish, It would be for people to quit playing games with my heart There's just to much that's been said & done, To much that you've afflicked time cannot erase and The wounds and pain I don't believe will ever heal I hope that after I'm gone, That each person I ever loved, Realizes the strain they put on my heart and in my short lived life The strain, They put on my mind Emotionally & Phyiscally God forbid though, Because Regardless of anything that I've ever said or did I was not worthy of being Loved I'LL Keep Searching For a Heart Of Gold Is What Some People Say--Only If People Knew That God Does Make Some With A Heart Of Gold----I Know This To Be True, Because I Use To Have One! Written By: Amanda L. Pinkston

You still have a heart of gold. Let yours shine back through sweetie.