I have noticed some things recently. There are a few types of “supporters” out there. And most are annoying. And while they mean well…they don’t realize that they are hurtful/annoying.
The Food Police.
My husbands uncle is this. And what makes it worse…is that he is a diabetic as well. He constantly scrutinizes what I put in my mouth. OMG did I just eat that cookie!!! He will hound me and make snide little “jokes” about what sugar I am eating while he eats handfuls and handfuls of chips and tater tots, and bread, and macaroni and cheese…etc. I don’t think he knows what the heck he’s doing. He doesn’t own a GL monitor, and NEVER tests his sugar levels. Nope…he just takes a pill. But he knows EVVVVERY thing there is to know about diabetes. He often makes me cry about stupid ■■■■ like a single cookie. My foster mom is an FP (food police) also. It seems like most supporters are FP’s. And it’s frustrating. I really do appreciate the support, I DO. It’s just…one cookie isn’t going to kill me. I think that some people fail to realize that you can cover a cookie with insulin. LOL. It’s not good to eat 25 cookies…but 1 isn’t going to hurt.
The GL police.
My husband. He will stand over my shoulder and wait for that stupid little number to pop up on the screen. It’s horrible…and embarrassing. And I hate it when someone asks me what my GL is. It’s not your business. And don’t get on my case when it’s high. I’m trying. OK? And people need to realize that sickness, stress, menstrual cycles, etc will raise GL’s. It’s just highly embarrassing.
But don’t get me wrong. I love my husband, and he has gotten ALOT better. He has finally gotten comfortable enough to give me a shot if something is wrong. He has lately backed off with my GL’s. And he has learned to remind me to take my insulins without annoying me. I’m really not a negative person, I just use this as kind of a way to vent. I need to write here more when I’m in a good mood. LOL.
But lately I’ve been doing really well with my GL’s. This morning was the FIRST morning (since being a diabetic) that I woke up with a normal fasting GL. 93. sweet. I’ve learned that I need around 16 units of Lantus to get levels like that. But I was really shaky and ate 4 little fudge cookies and a mini bag of cheetos. LOL. So I’m doing well. I’ve found out that I do better when I eat more small meals a day, rather than 3 large meals. When I eat 3 large meals my levels are wonky and it’s just annoying.
But it’s time for me to wash the dye out of my hair…
I’m not sure what is worse someone that bugs you all day or the people who don’t even have a clue about diabetes in my house?? I just feel like telling you have 3 cookies! I enjoyed your blog!
I really HATE either of those!!! My hubsand does me the sameway even now after 25 years of marriage!!! As for food police well got alot of them too! Like you it won’t hurt for 1 cookie just not the whole box!!! Your not alone in this fight here! The one I hate the most though is when my grandmother says i’ve got “suger” then the insulin reatcions are “fits” . HA!!
I totally feel ya! My G/F is both FP and GLP. She is always saying “I don’t think you should be eating that” or when I do my blood test, “What’s it at?!”. GRRR. I struggle with Authoritative figures, so people telling me what to do or nosing around in my business is really hard for me to take. I just have to tell myself “She does it because she cares”. But there is such a thing as caring too much and just being smuthering. I wish people could figure out that line. I am going to do what I want and anyone telling me what to do is going to make me do the opposite. Diabetes is not a new thing for me, I have been told by professionals, that I know what I am doing. It is never easy, but I can do it on my own, without help from people that are only giving direction because they care, that is not experience with diabetes.
One of my Favorites is when I don’t agree with what is being said and voice my rebuttle and the other person (G/F) says “What is your blood sugar?!” That really pisses me off.
haha. I’m glad I stumbled onto this blog, it’s nice to get things off my chest and share with people that face similar events all the time.
I have never relied on anyone to help me with my diabetes. Well, at 2:30 this morning I had a hypo…was not too low…but out of a dead sleep and woke in a panic, had a bit of a hard time thinking and walking to the kitchen. I would have been very grateful if I had a “Supporter” to help me a bit and check to see if I was okay.
I tend to be a bit more grateful for people that care for me and I do so in return.
Jessica, I totally understand, because my mother is a card-carrying member of the diabetes police. She never completely got it when I was a kid, and now that my dad’s had type 2 for a while, she doesn’t get type 2 either. oh, well, I guess that’s another story. The thing is, you can try to educate some people, but others are just not going to “get it” no matter how hard you try. Thank God here at TuDiabetes, there are many, many, kind, supportive, intelligent, friendly, and loving souls who really DO get it, and are willing to put their virtual arms around you when you need a hug.
I just LOVE this video by member Mike Lawson - here - called The Diabetes Police. It’s a light-hearted look at the various kinds of policemen out there. hey, how did your hair turn out?
Well I totally get your blog And enjoyed reading it. I work with a guy who is a member of the food police but I would never call him a “supporter” He is also diabetic and, like your husbands uncle, doesn’t even attempt to take care of it. He’s a terribly negative person and thinks he knows everything so for him I guess it’s fun to be a jerk and criticize what I do! It’s annoying when you’re a person who really works hard to take care of your diabetes and someone who doesn’t even attempt to take care of theirs wants to judge you.
I told my g/f very early in our relationship that if I want her to know my BG I’ll tell her! We’ve been together 2 1/2 years and sometimes she’ll look and go “Oops! Sorry! I’m not supposed to look!” But usually she respects my wishes. People at work are another story. And it’s harder for me to tell them to bug off for some reason. Hmmm. Maybe I need to be more brave!
My wife can sometimes fall into the GLP category, but never the FP because I’m very regimented in my diet. She sometimes comments on diabetics she sees who eat high sugar foods.
On the GLP… she’s trying to understand and I stopped being annoyed when I realized that my diabetes is largely invisible to her except for the occasional number that I mention. Sort of like if you were a passenger in a car blindfolded… you’d ask a whole lot more questions than if you could see where the driver was going.
Lately, I’ve noticed that as I give her more information and she can connect the dots and see the patterns she doesn’t bug me… instead I often get a comment of “oh, that’s good” when it’s dead on my targets. And I think that’s very important… we need to convert the GLP and FP to the side of constructive encouragement replacing criticism.
However, I do know that there are some people that you can’t convert or convince… and for those, if they’re not immediate family, I’d say hide the glucose meter.
i def agree with this blog. I have so many poeple who don’t know anything about me, just a friend of the family telling me how i need to eat, and that i cant have a beer. Or just constantly on me about something. My dad who has been one of my biggest supporters in the positive way sometimes does the " you cant eat that" about a cookie as wel, or regular ice cream… but with the ice cream i come back with the fact that sugar free actually ends up being worse for you than a tiny bowl of ice cream. Its very hard and annoying, ive only been diabetic for a year and a half now, i still dont know much about everything but enough to know that i am taking care of myself. But then again there ar ethe good supporters the ones that sit back and know you know what your doing, and help you as well:)…
I get where you are comming from. Having people scrutinize and comment is such an outward reminder of what we deal with at all times, and especially when it comes across as if we aren’t thinking of it ourselves.
Maybe we should all just start dialoging our thought process aloud around others. Like, “I’m about to have a cookie because I had a low-carb lunch and I’ve already estimated it has about 25 g carbs and I’ve given myself a little bolus for it.” Or, "I’m testing my bg because I feel a little woozy and I’m not sure if I’m low after that walk from the train or if I’m a little too high becuase I’m PMSing. Oh look, I’m at 69, which means I’m low and I need to eat something with sugar in it, like that cookie over there . . . "
Maybe if everyone could hear how much thought we put into it at almost every moment of every day, they’d back off.
Or maybe they’d just take it as an open invitation to join in.
Really…family memebers don’t bother me that much. I know they just care. Except the uncle in law…thats annoying. But it’s co-workers. My boss is a diabetic, so I leave him alone mostly. But my other co-workers will come to me and be like “should he be drinking that white mocha? He’s always drinking white mochas!” So what!! Let the man drink a white mocha if that’s what he wants to do. It is NONE of my business to tell him not too. And I’m sure he has it covered. He knows I care in other ways. He mentioned he was looking for a new endo so I gave him mine’s number. I’m sure he has enough FP, he doesn’t need it from me.
i totally agree with your blog and understand how you feel! it’s really easy to explain to someone that we know what we’re doing, but that doesn’t mean they will react how you want them to or even understand you … some people just think they know what they are talking about and don’t accept that they might be wrong or not know everything!
I enjoyed your blog!