How has diabetes effected you (any of us) in ways that we are not even aware of; ways that we may not even perceive?
Do you think… or act in certain ways because of the engrained habits of the disease? Or can our actions, perceptions, the ways we think merely be parallel to our diabetes?
Anybody have thoughts…?
Stuart
I am on another med that I will be taking for the rest of my life.Sometimes when I’m grumpy,some times I perceive it to be that medication to be off a little or if my sugar being to high.The side affects from that medicine are very similar to the symtoms of diabetes.When I found out I was a diabetic,I only went to see the doctor because I knew my med was a little high.So my doctor did complete bloodwork.A few days later she calls to have me come in.I was right about the med.She told me as soon as she walked in the door that I was a diabetic.The first day I was in shock.The next morning,I cried my eyes out.
I sure do. My entire life revolves around being diabetic. Anything I do involves considering diabetes. Do I have my meter, extra battery for the pump? Do I have enough insulin in the pump for the day? Checking my BG regardless of what I’m doing that day. Making sure I always have glucose tabs or something similar on my person no matter where I go or what I’m doing.
Can’t just hop on my bike or get in the car without testing first since I am hypo unaware.
Diabetes has affected me…permanently. But I’m the one who wants to be in charge of it, not it in charge of me.
Personally…I would say yes. Most specially if you have diabetes for quite some time. The condition became a part of me …part of my life, part of my schedules, my activities. Day to day activities becomes a routine, and when its a routine, it becomes a habit. Even in the way I think, the way I perceive things and decisions are greatly influenced by my condition. Situations like choice of food and beverages, or places to go, what to buy, books I read or how I manage my household.
Diabetes is a part of me… BUT it is not me. It influences me greatly…but it doesnt consume me.
Hello Dave:
Thank you for taking part…
Part of asking this question is figuring out the idea, what I truly believe. The honing of my thoughts if you will, simply in asking the question(s), putting them into words.
In truth, I am not sure (for all my commentary). So I ask my peers, some experienced, some not… see things from new eyes… perhaps evolve the original idea, half baked though it probably began
Stuart
Hello Rosalee:
I thank you for taking part. Have the tears stopped… yet?
I’m not asking so much about the “mechanics” if you will; the formulas, the ratios, and such. My question is more about our headspace. Does everything you do… every stupid action you take start out with the thought I AM DIABETIC? Or can a ride to the store for milk be just a ride for milk, or does your diabetes start every sentence, every action you think?
Myself I’ve been diabetic so long now I don’t know that I can seperate one from the other (if I ever could), unsure if the “D” governs the ways I think and act and that I simply just don’t realize it anymore, you know?
Not sure it makes any sense, but I am attempting to…
Stuart
Hello Ron:
Thanks for taking part as well!
How will you tell the difference between them? What happens 25 years in and these nasty little habits of ours have become deeply engrained? Will we be able to tell how its effected us anymore you think? Do we think the ways we do solely because of our diabetes or are the two parallel aspects, both parts of the whole “us”…
Not sure that makes sense, but hopefully…
Stuart
Hello Teena:
Thank you for taking part too!
If it alters the very ways that we mentally frame things the smallest thoughts…are we not fully immoliated-consumed? If “I AM DIABETIC” governs every action the when/how we clean our house… does that mean we are then ONLY a diabetic and nothing more?
That possibility worries me… a lot! I would like to believe they can be seperated…
Stuart
I guess it all depends on the person concerned Stuart. For me, acknowledgement and acceptance of my condition is my key. It is a part of me so I do my best to manage the condition, working hard to improve (Im a type 2 on medications…working to be off it and manage diabetes through diet and exercise alone) working to prevent any complications. But living a happily, productive and healthy life.
“Possibilities”? Anything is possible. Diabetes “governing” me? My love of life and the people around me doesnt permit me to do so. “Only a diabetic”? I would say I have more confidence and belief on myself that I am and I can be more.
Every diabetic situation is different. I guess dealing with the situation varies as well. That is why we are unique yet similar…Im so sorry your situation worries you. There are diabetes counselors that can help. Maybe they can best evaluate the source of your fears or concerns. I wish you the best.
Hello Dave:
Not articulating very well, if that’s the impression so far… I don’t think its nearly that simple ie being solely labeling. Does YOUR diabetes effect the way you mentally frame things? Actions/perceptions-thoughts you would never associate directly to the diabetes?
Can “D” become so habitual we no longer perceive the effects upon us?
Thanks for your help exploring this idea… in time perhaps it will be far more coherent ; ) ???
Stuart
I agree wholeheartedly. Everything I do is tempered by my diabetes. I still do everything I did before diagnosis, so it hasn’t restricted my activity, but it does make everything a little more complicated …
Hello Teena:
40 years a Type 1, “acceptance” is not by choice. I can no longer remember a time I was not a diabetic, and I am not old, regardless of what my kids “call me” … I respect my dragon but do not like it one little bit. We are mortal enemies (this dragon & I) and always shall be. But mine is a philosophical concern, rather than a “burning worry” if you will? Does that distinction make sense?
Having this kind of ~experience~ I now ask questions, wondering what effect(s) the disease has upon things I no longer even perceive anymore? Has the disease changed the way any of us consider/do things we do not even realize… having done them for so long. You know?
I do not know the answers, but ask the questions and hopefully through discussion, engaging with my peers, will get a better understanding of my own thoughts, views.
I appreciate your help in doing so,
Stuart
Apologies for something long and rambling…
I think some of this may depend on how long you’ve had diabetes…I think the longer you’ve had the more difficult it becomes to definitively say how diabetes has or has not impacted thoughts/actions….
For me, I’ve had diabetes for my most of my remembered life…so I can’t always fully disentangle how it’s impacted me…Sometimes say when I’m packing for a trip overseas (like study abroad) I always keep in mind that I need to make enough room to bring over supplies with me which means to pack efficiently and less not so essential things (i.e. that extra pair of shoes). I think this kind of interlaced thinking most people are cognizant of (like having to tote around supplies/meter) making sure that you have something to treat for lows…and to escape this is to be in denial at least in part.
I do think too that one can have non-diabetic experiences… especially when you in a sense let go of yourself…like if you’ve ever been in the flow while playing a sport, writing, or doing any kind of activity to the point where the just doing consumes all else (granted sports/physical stuff may make it harder to do so… cause a low would interrupt this and also assume that the creative activity is not using a D theme)… I think too when say you have an empathic/sympathetic experience like hearing really good news like a family member’s promotion at work or first job… and in that moment where you are just being happy for them it can be unrelated/free of D
I think too though that D can subconsciously influence one’s thoughts which you may discover only in going back through past decisions and trying to analyze why you made the choices you did. Though often too in these cases it is not D alone that influenced or was the primary influence…for example… when I think back on how I got to my current job (which is the epitome of security-fed govt. worker) and how much my career has diverged from what I wanted as kid (something much less structured)…and looking back I can see now that having diabetes has pushed me towards this career, but that other influences -my parents desire that I have a secure job, wanting to use the degrees i have in a career that’s actually related to them, a certain personal desire for stability/security…it is this last influence that is especially hard for me to disentangle… am I naturally a less spontaneous person who needs a job that’s more certain or have I become that way because of having diabetes… and perhaps that is more what your questions are pointing to Stuart?
Does diabetes or rather its affect on our lives influence us/our decisions to the point where it makes us something entirely different, have different traits than we would without it…does it perhaps just strengthen/bring out certain traits ? I don’t really think that having diabetes is something so simple as endless tasks to complete and no other effect …which is why it’s so hard to deal with… but that it does somehow reach much further to start effecting our core traits…
@ Stuart, I think I understand your question, in it’s simplicity.
For myself, the “diabetes first” signal comes on for everything in my life. Perhaps it is because of where I am in life, or because of my personal experience, but yes, going out to the store down the street will have to accomodate to my diabetes before anything. I entirely dislike this trait, but am surely trying to break away from the over analytical mindset I’ve put myself in.
Hello Priva:
Thank you for your experience as well, I am not sure i understand all of what you are saying? IYV being diabetic GOVERNS all thoughts, all actions, all ways of doing anything all for the ~greater family~ good? If you oversleep, it is because of your diabetes? If you get a cold, the same? Are upset or annoyed by a situation, these too are because of the diabetes first?
PS what exactly is a “diabetic item”, prey tell?
Stuart
Hello Ivan:
Thank you for your contribution!
I understand that headspace on some levels. On others, I quite literally could not care any less whatever the number might end up being most days at least. And that total disinterest, that “clinical dispassion” concerns me.
But I also can and do quite freely leave everything at home and go about my life. Other times I will take my insulin pen and nothing else, covering only whatever I eat, if/when I do. Not always, but at times… definately
Is that rebellion? Insanity? Or can diabetics be disinterested in that manner you think? (ie diabetic without panic, or simply dispassionate)? Could that type of approach be diabetes in second place, not always/only the “sole” consideration…
Any thoughts?
Stuart