So I'm preggers. Is that a real word?
Anyhow I couldn't wait until my appointment in October for my 3 month "pumpversarie" results, so we tried a couple of times.../grin. Then I freaked out because my sugars started going random and I had unexplained crazy highs! So we stopped trying, I made all sorts of silly excuses to myself and my husband like "I don't wanna be huge during the hot summer months" "i don't want the baby's b-day to coincide with my birthday" "We are going on a trip to Mexico in a couple of months and I don't wanna miss out"
So I increased my basal rates and my sugars stabilized again. But then I started to pee and be thirsty all the time, uh-oh,but but..my numbers are ok and we stopped trying /scratch head. Suspicious I take a home pregnancy test, negative, a little disappointing but hey on the positive side I will be able to scuba dive in Mexico this February!
To keep getting ready for my October appointment with the Endo, I decide to book a physical, I go, everything seems fine, doc asks me to book a paptest and do some fasting blood work, does a pregnancy urine test, negative (duh, i knew that for like a week)However,every once in a while I get unexplained highs that are tough to bring down, i'm constantly peeing, getting dizzy, sometimes nauseous, feel my breast getting "sexier" and my hubby is starting to call me hypochondriac...
I tried to not hype myself up too much, but had this nagging feeling, started reading the "interwebz" about symptoms and all that and decided to wait until I was closer to my period to do a home test again, also wait for the pap test ordeal since I read is linked to some miscarrying at an early stage and I am too busy to go do the blood test for another week anyhow.
2 days before my period is due I sneak into my bathroom without hubby knowing: A strong line and a very faint line, oshit! Should I tell hubby? He will call me a hypochondriac again i know it... anxiously I await all day, go buy a digital YES/NO test and that night I tell him:
"I'm gonna do a pregnancy test tomorrow morning"
"why don't you just wait until your period?"
"well, we are going to a wedding on that day and I need to know if I should be drinking?"
"/rolleyes"
The next morning I wait until I know the answer to remind him that I'm taking it, it says YES! I jump up and down and go look for him, but he is in the shower, so i leave the pregnancy test on top of his pillow take a couple of pics with my phone in case those magic words disappear and go about getting ready for work, giggling and excited. Of course he doesn't notice right away, so I have to point him in the right direction (i'm NOT patient) and he says "yuck is that pee on my pillow?" But then he realizes how happy I am and that I have a little thing in my tummy and that his swimmers did that and starts taking pics himself lol
The day of i was still scared and anxious, on top of that now I have this huge secret to keep from the whole family, who I am surrounded by all day because of the wedding, and I'm no secret-keeper!! So hubby kept on reminding me how fragile these things are. I kept on checking all day and my BS was off the chart high, could not bring it down: increased basal, corrected every hour or two, worried about losing this baby to High sugars and worried about worrying, vicious circle. A couple of site changes later, new insulin, lots of water/peeing and trying to calm myself down, brought my sugar down to a good range but overnight it shot up again and today I'm slightly high but still no period.
So yup preggers...I wanna shout it to the world but with Type 1 Diabetes and not on the strictest control I am afraid to do so. I felt it may be safe to do so here with my tudiabetes friends. And I feel so happy but so alone, so confused, so lost.
This little thing in my tummy is the first living thing I've ever had inside. (Unless you count the wriggly things I ate when I was a kid, or fresh seafood, or viruses, or bacteria, or... I think I'm gonna stop rambling and gonna go take a nap now.)