After 52 years of insulin, I’ve never noticed the look and could care less if I saw it. It just doesn’t rank in the “worry about” mode for me I guess.
yes! oh man my mother drives me insane with the “sugar” comments. I’ll go there to visit and she’ll be like I got you this cereal, there’s no SUGAR in it… I always have to explain to her that it’s the carbs that are important- and that cereal you just bought has 60g per serving! Anyways, it’s the thought that counts, now isn’t it?
I’m 26 and was just diagnosed so I can definitely feel for you. I keep trying to tell myself that the infamous “look” of which you speak is merely one of ignorance, but it still bothers the crap out of me every time. The last thing that we want is people’s sympathy. We’re not dying, we’re just living a little differently now. It’s kind of funny how the girl scout thing is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum… that exact same scenario happened to me a couple of weeks (months? don’t recall) ago. Some guy at work asking if I wanted to buy cookies, and trying to convince me to buy them for my wife after I told him I was a diabetic. Sure, my response was partially using my diabetes as an easy cop-out, but hell, we live with it so we should be able to use it in our favor every once in a while =) (not excusing anyone from their work… that makes us all look bad).
A few other possible responses to the puppy dog eyes that I’ve found work wonders is to either 1) Sarcasm in return (if you don’t mind being rude back to them) or 2) Blow it off in conversation as the small deal that it really is in the grand scheme of things.
Yes the comments are harder than the LOOK!!
I also like to tell people math (admittedly I will fake this…) like “my blood sugar is 75 and the donut is 33G of carbs and I just took 3.3U of insulin with .9U “on board” so it is, in fact, imperative that I eat that donut”
Seriously, as if there isn’t enough guilt associated with diabetes… It really makes me mad (for some reason) when people police me. I realize they are just trying to be helpful or whatever, but if they could go through it once or twice on the other side of their “help”, I think they would realize how hurtful some of those comments are to us.
I have never spewed all that out, but now I can’t wait for a comment from someone 
Me too. And if I do get that look- I deserve it, darn it! Why would a sympathetic look make me angry? It’s a horrible disease that I’ve been living with for 36 years. It’s a pain in the ■■■ and can result in some pretty horrible complications. But I really don’t let it even register or bother me, along with the confusion between T1 and T2, or the comments - I’ve never let any of it “bother” me.
“Oh, how do you do it?” or, “my grandmother died from that” or, “oh, yeah, like my cousin Johnny, he lost both his legs” (my personal favorite.) I get the look and the comment. But here is a thought…sometimes I don’t get the look and (believe it or not) I miss it. Diabetes is hard and we do deserve the look, I think. But sometimes it can get annoying and, on the other side of the coin, you do want that look of sympathy don’t you? It is something to think about for sure.
Lol good discussion topic.
I am normally greeted with one of 3 looks when I tell people I’m diabetic…Dazed and confused-is the glazed look I get when the person I have just told has no idea what diabetes is. Empathetic-the look I get just before the person responds with “my sisters’ uncles’ 1/2 cousin, twice removed has/had that” and finally the Sympathetic look you are talking about. I don’t mind the dazed and confused as I don’t mind educating the person as long as they are willing to listen. The empathetic look tends to grate me as it usually ends up with the person trying to educate me…and if they aren’t trying to educate me, they are telling me a horror story. I find the best way to deal with this is to tell them that I have had diabetes for 30 years and therefore I should know what I’m talking about - this is normally enough to shut them up. The sympathetic one is much tougher to deal with. I really do appreciate the thought and once I explain that it really isn’t a death sentence, I can do pretty much everything I want to and there is not much I could’ve done to prevent diabetes, that sympathetic look generally turns into one of understanding.
Bottom line is you can look forward to plenty more of these looks in the future
Why can’t we just support the Girl Scouts. I will give the leaders a wicked tongue lashing about selling unhealthy “cookies.” But every girl scout that tries to sell me cookies, I just donate money. Just tell that nice girl that she can give the box away as samples or if they are not needed just thrown them away. The Girls Scouts sell cookies to raise money. I willingly help them raise money, I just won’t help the cookie mafia.
I got that “Look"all the timeRye,when I was younger and diabetes ,type one ,was even less known. U will get used to it. " U don’t need to diet…“Why are you not taking/liking this food we prepared for you?”( usually mac and cheese and frosted cake or baked beans with sugar), all at a back yard cookout with loud speakers and 'slow jams” and ''disco" music; (UR 2 young to remember, but ask your moms or grand ma)
I would just smile, eat what I could eat, usually a salad (if one was there), and the barbecued chicken with the sauce wiped off and a taste of tater salad, then went and sweetely, cutely, danced the night away; Every one there generally forgot I was a “sick” diabetic. ( lol)
God Bless,
Brunetta
hahahaha. Yeah. I’ve done something similar. It’s hilarious the reactions you get from it.
it really doesn’t get better…my looks, these days, are more like “why are you eating that?” or “insulin slowly destroys your body”…ignorance is bliss, i guess! haha!
hang in there! you know your body and what you can handle…tell 'em to take a flying leap! 
myriah
Last week at lunch I misread the label on my (gack) frozen entree. I said “oh wow, I need to eat something else. I just took too much Insulin.” One co worker jumped up, another was yelling “hurry, get her something to eat right now” like my Insulin would kick in instantly. It was hilarious.
And yes, other co workers are always saying “she can’t eat that” because of course I’m not capable of deciding what carbs I want to throw in my mouth.
Usually I just smile and continue to take the cookie, etc. Then I decide whether to eat it or not.
The “Look” will never go away. I just ignore it most of the time. I have become very blunt with people in my reply to the look and comments. I guess I have decided to not let others bother me anymore…much easier.
It never ends, you can’t change that. What you can change is whether or not you let it get to you.
When I get ‘the look’ I tell people that I’ve been dealing with diabetes for a long time, I’ve got it figured out, and frankly it’s not that big a deal for me. If it’s no big deal for me, it shouldn’t be a big deal for ‘you’. The people who are genuinely empathetic and actually listen to what I’m saying will get it. People like that don’t bother me. Their concern is genuine and I’m touched by it.
As far as people being ignorant about diabetes. Well duh, MY diabetes is not the axis about which their world revolves. For me to expect everyone in the world to be an expert in MY problem is narcissistic. That’s been one of the hardest challenges I’ve had to deal with. My narcissism is my problem, not theirs.
As far as people being downright rude, I don’t let it get to me, but I will put them in their place. It usually goes something like this:
Here, have some cake.
No thank you.
Why?
I’m diabetic.
Well you don’t look diabetic.
(pause for dramatic effect)
Yeah, and - there’s - a - REASON - for - that…
I say it very ‘politely’ then smile and walk away. It doesn’t bother me, I find it rather amusing. For some reason, people like that never bother me again.
When people start in on the horror stories about how their grandmother had her feet amputated, I’ll just smile and say ‘that’s sad, and that’s why I’m so strict about my diet, I don’t want that to happen to me.’ It doesn’t bother me, and they leave me alone once they realize I won’t let them mess with me.
It’s easier said than done, but try not to let other people’s responses get to you, you’ve got enough challenges as it is. Try to enjoy the genuine empathy you get, or enjoy gently ‘educating’ the rude ones.
I completely understand! I’m a nurse also, and rarely tell people that I’m diabetic because of this. It came up in conversation about 6 months ago, and since then, I feel like it’s spread like wild fire. I’m not sure why people find it so fascinating. The questions I get(from nurses) are shocking. I also HATE when people tell me what I can and can’t eat. This drives me crazy!
Yeah I have the same problem with my mom. She will come and visit and decide I do not have enough of the foods she think diabetic should eat. I will come home there will be tones of beagles, cereals, breads and crackers. She will be like they are all sugar-free and you can eat them. I have tried to explain through out the years that it is the carbs that I try to limit or count, but when I was dx in 83 it was all about portions and being sugar-free. I am now getting ready for their visit for easter and what does she call to tell me? “I have found all these great sugar-free candy you can have”.
Stay in control. I would be forthcoming but not educational: casually request “just at thin piece please, it has too much sugar for me”. If they are really interested and care about a medical condition (that you haven’t revealed yet) then they are on the spot to follow-up. Otherwise, they’ll likely move on. If they do follow up with something like they did in your case, I show them the pump (which is probably in my hand already anyway) and say “yeah, that’s why I have this, to make sure that doesn’t happen”. Don’t try to educate someone who doesn’t want to be education, but project the image that you’ve got a full handle on the situation and they don’t need to worry about you.
Also, I am more likely to say “I’m diabetic” than “I have diabetes” (and I know I’m in the minority here). An “I am…” is just an identifying statement, like “I’m married/single/black/white/whatever”. “I have…” sounds more like you are confessing to a disease, an affliction. You’re separating yourself from the crowd and saying you have different needs because of it. Personally, I prefer just to blend in.