I’ve recently been reading anecdotes about how people were taught to do their insulin injections, and it appears that a popular method in former years was to get the patient, or patient’s carer, to practice by injecting into an orange. Thankfully, it appears that this barbaric practise has all but disappeared from civilised society, and oranges assigned to hospitals no longer need fear this painful, protracted and humiliating fate at the hands of diabetic neophytes.
Recently, during a clear out of old fruit bowl cupboards at a disused hospital, a remarkable document has come to light, which gives a fascinating insight into the lonely life of a terrified orange destined for the diabetic ward. Most oranges would hope to live out their ripening days adorning colourful baskets alongside fruits of all varieties and nations, valued and admired by staff and patients alike. For those unfortunates selected for injection training however, the outlook was grim, and a dusty, juice-stained piece of old peel found in a dark corner was found to contain this poignant supplication to a higher power…
Oh Orange Father, hear my prayer,And save me from my fate,Deliver me from this frightening place,Before it is too late!
For I have heard an awful word,The humans call ‘inject’,And terror grips my shaking pips,If they should me select!Oh Orange Spirit, show you care!Don’t let them pierce me so!For such a death I cannot bear,(I’m sensitive, you know!)
They’re coming, Spirit, for me now,
So this must be goodbye,
Perhaps I’ll join you very soon,
In the Juicer in the Sky!
Hah! I remember that! 30 years ago, they taught my parents on the orange, but I got to practice on myself :-).
As it it turned out, my parents never ever gave me a shot, I did all that myself.
I was taught 51 years ago using an orange.
I remember my mom always told me about how she practiced on an orange for a while. I just poked the needle in me and was done with it. Haha.
Now I feel sorry for the oranges we used to practice on…But didn’t at the time! LOL!
I love it! Poor orangey-worangies. We need a petition “Diabetes Against Orange Experiments”.
Although, I don’t know what sounds more painful an injection or being pulverized by a juicer! Although turning into healthy juice is a fate with a purpose for every orange out there!.
Great poem! So much fun and creativity - nice job, Alan! I once learned on oranges back in the mid 80s, but hadn’t reflected on that in some time.
Thinking more about it, I think my parents were more afraid of the orange and the needles, than the orange was afraid of them!
Gee, and I learned to inject on oranges!!
I learned on a Orange 38 years ago. But not until now will I ever look at an Orange the same.
No need to put a “juicer in the Sky”.
No need at all.
Next I will just eat it’s luscious fruit
And give myself some Humalog
I suck at poem writing. so sorry.
Thanks for all your kind comments everyone, I’m pleased you enjoyed my little bit of silliness. I wonder if the injected oranges lost their sweetness?
Now I’m imagining how Rufus, the stuffed bear from JDRF that Children’s hospital was handing out, must feel.
Ooh! I feel another poem coming on…!