Hello All,
I am new to tudiabetes.org just joined but I am not a new diabetic. I was diagnosed 15 yrs ago when I was 21 but can remember at about 17 having problems but really didn't want to know what was going on, I was willing to stay in denial. I seen my mom deal with this disease along with her mental instability when I was younger and seen first hand the ramifications. I can remember exactly the day I opened my eyes. I lived in Alaska and worked at a children's residential home. I was also a full time student and would work all night and go to school during the day. Two days a week I was up for over 24 hrs. I was on my second "long day" when I went to work after stopping for a Quad-shot Carmel latte (yes with Carmel drizzle and whipped cream!) I was feeling tired and thirsty. My boss just took his BS and was in the 140s. He noticed that I just didn't look good and said I should use his monitor. Well.. 45 seconds later.. Over 350 and we were getting ready to eat.. Not good.. He sent me home for the night and said I was not to return until I went to a Dr. A little pissed I when home, told my ex-wife of what was going on and made an appointment for the next day. That day SUCKED!! I took a fasting BS and my a1c was over 9 and my BS was 325. The Dr told me I was grossly out of control and handed me a pamphlet, a script for an orals, and said I needed to go on a diet and loose weight. Calling to tell my mother, she cried.. My brother was always a little rough around the edges.. said on the phone "See told ya.. you are just like mom". My In-laws and x-wife had no idea on what to say, and for me.. Well continue to get angry and to top it off.. I got the most upset when threw away a full container of the Macadamia nut and white chocolate cookies from Costco.. I love those damn things and have not had one since..
For about 2-3 years in AK I went without insurance so getting meds was quite difficult. What I was able to get would not help with my highs, I was often between 250-300 when I could test. The meds I would take made me crash and not control my highs. After my diagnosis I don't think I saw a Dr for over 2 yrs and when I did, I got the 3rd degree for being "Grossly Out of Control" It Sucked! In 1997 we moved to Spokane WA. I was able to finally find a job where I had insurance. I got in to see a Dr. At Age 23 I was told that I was the youngest, Type-2, most out-of-control diabetic he has ever seen and he had 350lb+ patients were in better control than I was He said he should do a case study on me. He sent me to a dietitian to get my "eating" under control and that was a whole another bad experience. She put me on a 1500 Calorie diet.. WTF!! OK I'm a big guy and it is not around the mid section.. 6'5" 250, 52" shoulders and a 36" waist. Bread and water please.. I felt like I'm stuck in a Prison! He never type tested me and he assumed that I was Type-2 because my mother and father was. What I needed was to be on Insulin.
At this point in my life, my give-a-damn-got-up-and-left. I just didn't care anymore. Nothing I could do would make me feel better. I was getting sick all the time the 2 worst was a seizure when I had a high fever an the other was passing a kidney stone. I kept getting bigger and bigger.. at my heaviest I was at 330. I could see on the horizon my live ending short like my father's did at 47. I have now became the 300lb + patient my last Dr spoke about but for me, I was still out of control. I was laid off just prior to 9-11 and lost my insurance, now broke; depressed I was so ready for a change. I got a low paying job with the school district as a classroom aid for emotionally disturbed students but I finally got insurance. I found a doc that was recommended by a co-worker and during my first appointment I demanded that I be put onto insulin I didn’t care that I was going to be on shots for the rest of my life. After a little bit of a struggle he gave me the insulin I needed. I started to feel better after a few weeks of adjustment of my meds and loosing a little bit of weight. My mother and a good friend needed me here in AZ so I by the end of Spring of 2002 I was ready to move back. I wrapped up my college semester, said my good-bys at the school I worked at then went by my pharmacy and got as much insulin as I could because I knew I was going to go without insurance again.
Now in AZ I still kept loosing weight but was in a funk. It started when I picked up smoking again after being off of them for over 8 years, my marriage was on the fritz and finding a job was not as easy as I thought. I was seeing our nation on the verge of a war and I felt it was time that I stepped up and did my part. I went to a recruiters office for our military where all the branches were represented and if each recruiter was thrilled to see a big healthy looking man walk in ready to serve and every one said no because I was a "Diabetic" I felt like I was punched in the chest. I got the same result when I looked into getting my CDL to drive a big rig or when I looked into law enforcement. I ended up working a call center setting on my butt. I felt like it would have been easier to have my left arm or legs amputated then to deal with this disease.
I moved in with my mother and filed for divorce. I decided to try something a little different this time. I changed my mind when it comes to food from "Live to Eat to Eat to Live" eating when I was hungry and that was it. I went from about 290 down to 240 within a few months. It was working but I didn't have a clue on what my BS was because I was lucky to test 3 times a week. During this time I started dating my wife Sage and really started looking at what was causing me not to accept this disease. I had it and was not going to go away, I can live with it and take care of myself or allow it to take my life. My dad was a T2 with heart problems by 47 he was dead to a massive heart attack. My mother has let this get the best of her and has dealt with bone infections that caused her to have most of her heel bone removed. 2 toes amputated and now her kidneys are starting to shut down, Thyroid problems, heart palpitations and add mental illness into the mix and all I can say is Wow.. I don't want to deal with all these things I want to be healthy and live a long life to spend with my wife and family.
In 2007 I was hired to work at a major teaching hospital in Tucson AZ as a Computer Tech. I build, repair, and troubleshoot computer systems in a clinical environmental. I have had the opportunity to meet and befriend a number of medical staff and Doctors that are pioneers in their field of Transplant, Diabetes care, Cancer research and treatment and Cardiac care. I got a chance to meet the doctor that did the first artificial heart before he retired and ordered lunch with the Doctor that performs islet cell transplants!! Very Cool!! But by far it has been the patients and patient families I have met. I have seen a man days from his death of cancer tell a young lady that it will get better, and to have faith. A guy I call "Wheels” has had everything below his rib cage removed, more surgeries then years he has been alive tell me it was a beautiful day outside, he is grateful to be alive and have friends like me. A young girl I was one of the first people she told out of her room that they have her a heart.. Then a few years later see the same girl do a full run on a treadmill next to me in the gym. I see these things every day and needless to say it opened my eyes. I can do this; I can take care of myself and get busy living rather than dying.
I was put onto the pump a year ago and quit smoking for real this time. Yea I still need to loose weight, watch what I am eating but I can first time in my life say I am a diabetic and it is OK because this is something I can share with others that might help to pick them up
I may have diabetes but it does not have me...
Thank You!!
Robert Gillum
Welcome!