At age 35, after 30 years of D, I went with the no kids option. I was actually in a relationship for once (have spent most of my life very happily single - this seems to be best for all concerned!), and he was a very family oriented sort of lad. But I also knew he was not “the one”, and so set him free to pursue a more settled, family oriented life than I could provide.
The thought of trying to get my HbA1c down to a normal level (well under 7, under 6 if possible), and keep it there while I tried to concieve, was just not feasable or practical at the time. My control was certainly ok in terms of complications prevention, but maybe not perfect enough for conception. I’d not forgive myself if my small one was born with congenital issues, and I could have prevented it by tighter control.
Ironically, 10 years later, my control is exceptional, because I have stopped working full time, exercise a lot more, and have a lot more fun. Still not going to have a baby though. My fertility is on the way out!
My other reason for not breeding was that I am actually a trifle phobic about health care. I get a fight or flight response everytime someone comes near me with a BP cuff (and the result is always super super high - but lowish on home testing), and I have refused to pee into pots for testing since my early teens. I don’t let anyone inject my with vaccines (I do it myself), and although I have had a number of orthopaedic surgeries in the past 3 or 4 years, I really hate hospitals and doctor visits. Endocrinologists in particular. I’ve been told I’m non compliant with an HbA1c of less than 6! And hypo unaware - I’m not. My hypo feeling number hasn’t changed since childhood. I live alone and am not dead, nor have I had a car accident or injured myself due to a hypo. No-one has needed to assist me since I was about 6. No ambulances, no ER visits. NOT hypo unaware!!! I hate endos.
So basically, the thought of a pregnancy with all sorts of medical interference is enough to give me a panic attack. I wouldn’t cope with being strapped down in labour with IVs and fetal monitoring at all! I’d run screaming from the ward and deliver in the basement carpark, quietly, by myself. Obviously not ideal for the baby…
So, no babies for me. but life is fabulous regardless.