I am Type 1 Diabetic and 35 Years. I am really scared to have kids. I am not able to decide on it.My husband always says No to kids as we both are scared of having issues with pregnancy and more over if the baby born is not healthy. I am not desperate to have kids but dont know. really thinking a lot not able to sleep at night. Dont know what to do. Please HELP
Hi I am type 1 have been since the age of 2 years old. I am a mother to two girls.
Had both girls via c-sections no major issues.
As long as you plan ahead,talk with your team and put in the work that’s all we can do.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I wouldn’t be without them, they give me s reason to wake up and look to the future.
Best wishes and feel free to get in touch if you need to talk. Xxx
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I am type 1 for 21 years and I also had two girls via c section. I even started out both times with less than stellar a1c. Both my girls were born 100 percent healthy. If you really want kids, go for it. Don’t let diabetes stop you. It definitely can be done.
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Maybe it would help if you separated the medical fears from all your other feelings about having children and then focus on the non-medical side to see how you feel about becoming a parent. I’m in my 50s and didn’t get T1 until my 40’s. I’ve known my whole life I didn’t want to be a mother, so the T1 wouldn’t have been an issue for me even if I’d been diagnosed younger. I also know it can be very difficult decision for some people to make. Wishing you peace as you move down the decision-making path.
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I am type 1 and have two boys. I had gestational diabetes (at least, that’s what they thought, but a month later I was diagnosed as Type 1). I was considered “high risk.” Fortunately, I had a great support system and a team of knowledgeable doctors. Towards the end of my pregnancies, I went in weekly for ultrasounds. Because my pregnancies were considered high risk, I had ultrasounds on a monthly basis until the last month when I had them weekly. I was induced a week early both times because of the risk of complications that can occur during the last few weeks of pregnancy. I worry about my children developing diabetes, so I watch for signs and have their A1C checked at every physical. I’m so glad I made the decision to have kids. They bring so much joy to my life.
Thank You for all your responses. I have gone though this multiple times now. last year we have decided not to have Kids. My husband is always happy with the decision. I am the one always fluctuate. I really dont know what I want. Also I dont have pump. I only have Dexcom. Do I really need to have pump if I am pregnant. What are the age risk I am 35 now? My Endo always says yes becoz my A1c is always under 7.5 and I have hypothyroidism as well. The decision making is killing me a lot. I cant sleep at all…I dont even know how to stop the thoughts. My brain is not listening. I dont know which one is the right? to have? or not to have kids?
I wasn’t on a pump. I checked my blood sugar A LOT. It was a commitment. I have hypothyroidism as well, but it wasn’t an issue during my pregnancy as my levels were checked every three months. You could try talking to your OB/GYN about risks and possible complications and maybe that will help you decide.
I agree with @Shadow2 that figuring out whether you want kids independently of the diabetes seems like an important step, since it seems like maybe your husband doesn’t and you’re not sure. I’m a woman of a similar age and T1, so I can relate to some of what you’re going through. I think even when you’ve decided you maybe don’t want kids (or don’t want to birth them yourself), there’s a scary finality to that looming all of the sudden due to age, and it’s hard not to keep second guessing. It would be SUPER reasonable to see a therapist to get some help sorting out the multiple components of this decision and help managing the anxiety and insomnia that you’re suffering from around this.
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Thank You and @Shadow2 . I dont have issues giving birth myself. I would have had kids if I am not a T1D. I was diagnosed at 28. My husband says he is scared of birth defects that might get to the baby. If that is the case our happiness ends there. At least we are happy now without kids. I will go and talk to the OB/GYN and make a decision on it.
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You mentioned that you are worried that your baby wouldn’t be healthy and a healthy baby is obviously what every mother wants for her child. But I’m here to tell you that that really is completely out of our control. I’m not type 1, and I did have four healthy pregnancies, but then when I was pregnant with our 5th we found out our baby had a congenital heart defect. I had no control over that. But we had her, and loved her for the eight months that she lived and I would do it again in a heart beat. She brought something into our life that can never be taken away, I don’t regret a minute of her life. And to be honest it was almost harder when our previously healthy daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes… something you live with yourself! Do you ever think that your mom shouldn’t have had you because you aren’t perfectly healthy? Silly question I know. 
If you told yourself that you weren’t going to have a baby and then didn’t feel at peace with that, perhaps it’s because you do truly want to have a baby. Having a baby is in my opinion one of the most exciting things that can happen in your life… you get to make a brand new person! It’s super cool.
The decision is really up to you and there is no right or wrong answer. But don’t let type 1 diabetes stop you from listening to your heart. 
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I’m 29 weeks pregnant, 36 years old, and T1D for 28+ years. Getting pregnant was never on my radar; I always figured I’d foster adopt at some point. This past summer, DH and I had a conversation and revisited our stance on pregnancy. I did a ton of research on T1D and pregnancy and adopted a low carb diet for a few weeks until my next appointment with my endo, to see how feasible and sustainable it was for me. Talked with my endo, then my ob, then started doing an exhaustive bunch of screening tests.
Ultimately, I learned and started to feel confident that a healthy pregnancy was within reach and that I’d have a massive team of health professionals with me throughout the journey. I’ve also found this forum to be very reassuring and have kept an eye on the T1D and Pregnancy Facebook group.
Fortunately, my pregnancy itself has been going smoothly. I’ve been very focused on what I’m eating and trying to keep my bgs within range (I have a pump and CGM - I think as long as you have a good sensor you’re in good shape). My most stressful days these days are when a new wave of resistance hits and I spend about 24 hours recalibrating everything to bring my average back down under 100. I’ve gotten reassuring feedback from my medical team.
As far as risk factors, age is something to consider, but it’s not such a huge deal. It raises the risk factors for certain conditions, but no where near close to making the risk near probable. Risks from diabetes can be managed by keeping good control, especially before you get pregnant (which has the added benefit of very possibly letting you know almost immediately after you conceive, because all of a sudden your bgs are running higher than normal for no other good reason). We had a scare early on with one of the optional tests, where it looked like we might be at a very high risk for chromosomal defects. It took a week of additional tests and genetic counseling before we found out that actually our risk was much lower (e.g. that of a 21 year old for Downs) than my age would suggest. Aside from that early scare, all of our many ultrasounds since have come back clear.
Good luck with your decision making…it’s a big decision! If you opt to keep looking into it, definitely make sure you have a good medical team that you trust.
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Hi,
I was diagnosed with diabetes in the first weeks of my first pregnancy at 38 yo of age. I have been using insulin since shortly after that. I have had two successful pregnancies without diabetic complications. Both girls are doing fine.
I really think having a baby is the luck of the draw. We don’t know what we get.
But I have no regrets.
I was the husband that was scared mostly of having a future t1 in the making. I have lost a few relationships and that marriage on my stance on fatherhood. The OP may have to reconcile this with her husband before moving ahead as some have suggested. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that having T1 since early teen years may have shaped my decisions more that I thought. Began realizing how much time and effort diabetes requires over the course of a lifetime seemed to make me not as open to a tandem lifetime commitment. It has honestly made me a selfish SOB, lol.
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You got a lot of great advice above; I would only add a couple additional words. 1) Being type 1 and in control won’t add to your risk of your baby having birth defects. Talk with whomever would be your OB, but she should be able to set your/your husband’s minds at ease here. 2) I totally get having your mind spin in circles. We went back and forth and forth and back about having a second child. Ultimately we did and she (and our older child) are both healthy, happy, wonderful little people. Of course there are risks in all pregnancies and type 1 diabetes adds more challenges to a pregnancy, but lots of us acknowledge and meet those challenges and decide to go ahead and try to get pregnant. You will be the captain of a team that will have your interests at heart. Maybe sit down with your husband (possibly with a therapist, who could be a wonderful intermediary/translator of your issues?) and really lay out what each of your concerns are; see if you each can accept them; and go from there. Wishing you the very best of luck - Jessica (type 1 for almost 25 years; mom to 2 great girls)
My wife and I were quite scared about having a child, given various health and mental issues that run in our families. The whole T1 thing makes it even more daunting, and for years I’d been of the “if we do want a kid we should adopt” school. Then, after she hit mid-30s, her feelings changed, and we decided to try. I was still scared, etc.
Best decision we ever made was to have Dylan. He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect, and I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world, no matter what happens tomorrow or further down the line. Honestly, I was not capable of rationally assessing the pros and cons of having a kid before having a kid. And there are plenty of cons, but none of the fears I was having have come true. I just didn’t know I was giving up on twenty or so years of sleep (although people tried to warn me…).
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I think I was the same as you. I had terribly controlled T1D. HBA of 8 or 9. I got pregnant at age 38 … wasn’t really meaning to as I just couldn’t get the sugars down - but we did want to have a baby at some stage in our lives. But anyway, within 3 weeks of finding out i was pregnant I got my HBA down to 7.2, and then it was around 6 for the rest of the pregnancy. My daughter was perfect. 7 pounds. She is 10 now and is still perfect. I didn’t feel able to have a 2nd pregnancy. But I am happy that we had at least one. She wishes sometimes that she had a brother or sister but she is philosophical about it - and good hearted. My HBA has never been as low as during the pregnancy. I am now at about 7.5. I hope you find your way.
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I was diagnosed after kids. Even though I did not have one lick of health issues before becoming pregnant I was scared! I ha the same thoughts as you but with other things…Will they be okay? What am I doing? I can tell you that you would worry even without having any problems! I know I did. I was diagnosed with type one when my kids were 6 and 9. Guess what? They are the coolest little things ever. My point…you would have the same thoughts without diabetes. If you have control. Go for it ! You e ahead of millions that don’t have control of a health issue before becoming pregnant.
I’m 38 type 1 with excellent control. I am also frightened to have a child and be a high risk pregnancy if I can even get pregnant at all. I’m currently not in a relationship so it might be too late for me… but have you ever considered the beauty of giving a child a home, love and family who doesn’t have one.
Shift your concept of family and take out the idea of conceiving yourself and see how it feels from that angle. It’s what I had to do to find peace with it.
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More than 30 years ago I was struggling with those same concerns, worries about hurting a fetus with my wacky blood sugars, worries about my eyes and kidneys, worries about going crazy worrying about those things. After a lot of angst, and tearful discussions with my husband, he said, you’re right, you’d go bonkers. So we adopted two kids. We love them so much. Now have two grandkids, too, and we were even able to be present at their births. Sometimes I look at my BGs with my CGM and pump and think, wow, I could have a successful pregnancy now, if I weren’t postmenopausal! 
But We would never want to not have adopted our kids. Even though there are better tools available for managing blood sugars and monitoring pregnancies now, it is still a hard choice. Sending blessings to you and your husband. Hope you can get some sleep soon.
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I spent about eight years doing charity photography for families whose little baby was not coming home from the hospital. Childbirth is not a zero-risk activity, even without diabetes. While the odds are hugely in favor of a successful pregnancy, things can and do go wrong. With a good medical team and tight sugar control, I think diabetes is almost a non-factor. There is much to worry about, even though the risks are very low. Each family gets to weigh the joy of a new baby against possible adverse outcomes. It really is a personal and emotional decision.
I would also mention that many of these families try again, even though they have been made painfully aware of the potential for loss. Having a family is just that important.
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