so, i don’t know if anyone can help out on this,. so me & my girlfriend, are getting, serious, like we might get married, & me being a type 1, what is the risk, of them getting diabetes, if we want to have kids, ?.
& we both want kids, if we get married,.
Hi @erice,
Well, how exciting! 
What an adventurous time for you and your girlfriend. Marriage and children are a big step but talking about it first is important, communicating/talking about this stuff is always important. Its heavy stuff.
I developed T1 after my husband and I were married so it came with the whole marriage “surprise” package- the things you develop or find out about your spouse after marriage, intentional or not. 
My husband and I had two kids before I was diagnosed too and I was 26 when I had my first kid. Remember the odds are not a sure fire 100% numbers to live by. Below is an section from diabetes.org on passing T1 to kids. I have read similar numbers on other medical websites regarding passing on diabetes.
“In general, if you are a man with type 1 diabetes, the odds of your child developing diabetes are 1 in 17.
If you are a woman with type 1 diabetes and your child was born
before you were 25, your child’s risk is 1 in 25; if your child was born
after you turned 25, your child’s risk is 1 in 100.
Your child’s risk is doubled if you developed diabetes before age 11.
If both you and your partner have type 1 diabetes, the risk is between 1
in 10 and 1 in 4.” -
I have to say that for men, yes, the risk is higher of passing on T1 to kids genetically- 1 in 17. I have a couple of male friends that have T1 that chose with their spouse to have only 2 kids because of this. My husband and I chose together to have 4 kids, diabetes or not. Although we did revisit this discussion after I was diagnosed. What is more important than genetics is that your girlfriend/wife are in agreement and decide together. You two decide what you can handle or potentially handle. My odds of passing D down is 1 in 100, we have 3 kids + a bun in the oven. My odds are low but even if all my kids got D then I know we could handle it. We have a great marriage partnership together. 
At some point, all parents with T1, I’m sure worry if their kid will get T1. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had my kids’ pediatrician do, what to them seemed like, unnecessary tests but to me eased my worry when the results were negative. I’ve gotten used to letting go of the worry but still cautiously look out for signs of T1. Part of being a parent is caring and being cautious but knowing that things are going to happen good and bad to your kids and you may/may not have any control over them happening. Its hard to see happen, but it happens. Kids grow up and you cannot have a death grip on them.
I wish you and your girlfriend the best! I wish you the best with all this decision making too.
Busybee
all i want is for a happy,d-free baby,when we have one, we both want kids,.
we both want, a girl,.
Oh my Sweet, loving person…If there is love, it will overcome anything, though some things will be hard. But that is true in All marriages. But I believe you will be just fine and so will your children! Really…Others can answer you with much more scientific precision than I can. All I can say is that I have many, many diabetic friends who have beautiful marriages and truly beautiful children-----almost all of them right here at TuD…
Be calm. Diabetes is not at all contagious per se, and though there are genetic indicators for both T1 and T2, they are different and it is very complex…I got my T2 gene from my dad, for instance, but neither my Big Bro or my Little Sister did!..
My Big Bro has a deforming hand-tendon problem in one hand that is only manifested in some people of Scandinavian descent—not me or my little sister. My little sister is dying of a cancer specific to my dad’s side of the family. Not me or Big Bro…I’m the middle child. Who knows which way the genetic pendulum will swing for me…
All of which is just late night free-association musings on my part. You will learn that I do that a lot…LOL…You’ll be fine. Love matters—go for it----there is never enough love in the world…Blessings…
wow, my first thought @erice is “that was quick” - I thought you just broke up with a girlfriend recently. . but seriously, I think it’s a pretty low percentage.
Risk. It isn’t just the risk of something bad happening. You have to weigh it against everything good that can come from having kids. For many of us, having kids is a major source of joy and happiness in our lives. And who are we to say who are kids will be, the things they will accomplish in their lives. We all know of people with diabetes who have gone on to very happy and successful lives. If we go through our lives just avoiding risk then we will miss out on all the good things in life.
I won’t reiterate the other good information given here, but just want to issue one reminder.
The other thing about risk is, it can tie you up in mental knots, but only if you let it. Don’t. Any way you slice and dice the above information, the odds are in your favor. And even if things turn out differently than you wish, the opportunity for long happy lives for everyone concerned remains. It’s what you make it. Choose optimism–life is better that way, every time.
Truthfully, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. there is always risk, whether the parent is or is not diabetic. It’s just a bit higher if you are a diabetic.
I come from a family of type 1 diabetics, it is very prominent in my family (6 of us in all), my dad, a brother, an aunt, and two cousins, and myself.
My diabetic father had two out of five kids with diabetes. My diabetic aunt had two kids and neither of them are diabetic. My diabetic cousin chose to adopt rather than have biological children (the choice had nothing to do with his diabetes). My other diabetic cousin passed away before he had kids. My diabetic brother has two kids and neither, as of yet (they are still young 11 and 8 years old), are diabetic. I don’t have any kids and the choice has nothing to do with my risk of passing on diabetes.
If you want kids, then have kids, don’t worry about diabetes, the risk is so small it’s not really worth giving up your dreams over. And even if they do end up diabetics, it’s not the end of the world. This is my own opinion, of course.
Good luck to you and your woman!
i did, just broke up with one, very recently, i met her. at a endo appointment, & i just can tell, she might be the one,
she much better then my x-girlfriend,.