16 Years Ago Today

I get a bit reflective at this time of the year. I’m bearing down on my dm anniversary, and in fact, though today (3/19) isn’t the day I was actually diagnosed, as I think about it, this was a significant day in the days leading to my diagnosis.

Sixteen years ago today. It was a Friday. I remember because I had to wait the weekend for my test results from my doctor. The cough I had been experiencing since January and which had been abating, had returned with a vengence. My doctor ordered yet more blood tests, but didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t know then and wouldn’t know until Monday that I had developed diabetes.

In retrospect, it should have been obvious that there was something more wrong with me than the stress and fatigue all grad students seem to experience. I had finished up my Master’s degree in August, including writing a thesis in record time (according to my thesis chair), applying to and getting accepted by three doctoral programs, then moving to a new state to start my doctoral work…gee, of course I would be tired, achey. I figured if I ever got a good night’s sleep, I would be back to myself.

I didn’t get better. I almost fell face forward into a deli case when a wave of dizziness came over me in November. Thirst became a constant companion, so much so that I felt as if my coffee cup, which was always filled with water, had become an extension of my hand. Everyday, I would go buy a gallon of water or a 12 pack of diet soda. Of course, that led to using the bathroom fairly frequently. I was living in the dorms at the time, and there had been some problems with men bursting in on women using the facilities, which led to the doors being locked (though maintenance forgot to tell us they had locked the doors). Guess who was the first to discover the locked doors?

At that time, though, I had no idea I could develop diabetes. I wouldn’t, not until 3/22, when my doctor would call and ask me to come in because she found something odd in my bloodwork.

It is remarkable to me how long we go with overt symptoms of diabetes without recognizing it, before diagnosis.

Oneless, what’s remarkable to me is how long we can be in denial about our bgs even after our diagnoses. From September '06-October '07, I either ignored my diabetes, tested only when I figured it would make me “look good”, or made excuses for 200+ bg readings. It took sleeping through part of a class and feeling as if I was walking on blocks of wood before I was honest and admitted that my dm was not in very good control.

Debb, while I did vehemently disagree with the university’s actions, they did have good reason for it: several girls had “peeping toms” open up the showers while they were in them. Plus, our room keys did unlock the bathrooms, but of course, having been woken up at 3 AM with an urgent need to “go”, I really wasn’t thinking about bringing my keys with me! Still, locking the restroom doors was stupid for us graduate students, since we terrified the undergrads! We were in no danger from the undergraduate peepers, and most of us had far too much work to do to bother with peeking in the opposite sex’s restroom. I do think it would have been nice of the school to tell us they were going to lock the doors first before doing it! Thank you for the kudos, debb. I can hope people learn from my experiences, even some of the bad ones. FWIW, you’re not a slouch yourself!