Awesome news. You’re right, Janesville is about 2 hours away, but for our son we will make the trip. I have checked out ADA and JDRF. We are very active with JDRF. There is nothing in this area, nor do the people in the office there know of anything available to someone in this situation. I am checking out this Barbara Davis Center site, and will surely give Dr. Reid’s office a call on Monday morning! I am so thankful for having stumbled upon this site. You all are giving us hope that we didn’t dare dream of a week ago.
I will be praying for you, your family, and your son. I think the doctor is right. An antidepressant is probably the best thing for him. It’s amazing how well they work. As the mother of a teenager you probably know to watch him take it daily. Take care! Colleen
Patty, I’m a chronic insomniac so you’ll probably hear from me again early morning. It’s great that you’ve been hooked up with some potential help here. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a teenager with diabetes. Teenagers are tough anyways sometimes and the demands of type 1 are difficult, to say the least. I will say special prayers that things improve. Does your son happen to go on the tudiabetes teen sites. It might help for him to communicate with kids his age who take care of their diabetes. And these kids talk about alot other than diabetes. If not maybe you could suggest it to him. Colleen
Patty, I’m so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Sometimes I don’t think we diabetics realize how much our health effects the people who love us. I we through a time in college where I was completely uncompliant. My A1c got up to 12.1. But my doctor scared me and I got back on track. I now hang out in the mid 6’s.
But obviously, being scared doesn’t effect your son, which makes me think, like all the others, that there are some serious emotional issues going on. I know you’ve gotten some great advice here. I’m glad you’ve found us.
I know your son isn’t technically “addicted”, but have you ever seen the show Intervention on A&E? It where families get together to stage an intervention for a family member who is dealing with additction and offer them a chance to go to rehab. You might think about finding a mediator and setting up an intervention of sorts. Watch this show a few times and you will get the idea. It’s not about making the person feel bad, but making them understand how much their family and friends love them and want them to love themselves. Then offer to send him away to some sort of in patient therapy. You would have to find somewhere that dealt with chronic illness and emotional/mental issues at the same time, but I’m sure it could be done.
Please keep us updated. We hurt when you hurt because we understand what it’s like to live with diabetes.
Patty, it looks like you got a response from Bill Polonsky about this, and he knows someone at least in the same state, I would bet money that if Bill recommended them, they will likely be able to help,.
Mjf
Steve, you misread: he’s 23 now.
He was diagnosed at 15 and has been unmindful of his diabetes since diagnosis. It is partly because he’s over 21 that Patty and her family is having such tsuris.
First I would like to let you know that I am sending some positive thoughts to you and your family. Second I would like to commend you for sharing your experience. Your son sounds like maybe he needs a good shake:) If he is not going to take care of himself, and continually live in denial, then he needs some professional therapy. I just do not get his selfish attitude. Maybe he should realize that he is not just living for himself, but you as a family love him so much that it is like he is killing you some how…
I adore your energy and appreciate your candidness.
You are on my top of positive prayers for the day!!
Hi Patty, I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I know this is off-the-wall and a little crazy but if there are any diabetics in your area who currently have suffered anythign traumatic from not taking care of themselves you should see if they can stop by and talk with your son. I’ve found that most people realize once it’s too late that they should have taken care of themsleves. Shock therapy in a way but when the answers are few and the problems plenty it may be worth a shot. Good luck and feel free to lean on us here. We make pretty strong crutch!
I agree with Tmana - get him to a good empathetic psychologist. I went through a similar “denial” period when I was 20 (diagnosed at 11). Suddenly I was out of college and faced with dealing with this disease. No mommy around to do it all for me. It was overwhelming. I finally found a good psychologist who helped me realize it didn’t need to “rule” my life, and I shouldn’t ignore it either, but find a middle road. It sounds to me like he is in serious denial and anger about having diabetes. He needs to learn that it is a disease you CAN live with and maintain a “normal” lifestyle.
Wow, I’m sorry to hear your son isn’t taking care of himself. But honestly, there is nothing you can do to change his mind. He has to decide he’s worth it. Did he ever see a counselor or therapist after his diagnosis? My bet is he’s still in denial about his diagnosis, as strange as that many seem. Ask him if he’d like to talk to someone about his diabetes. Living with a chronic illness stinks. Diabetics have a higher incidence of depression than most other people with a chronic illness. We’re blamed for our “failure” to manage our diabetes. Its a tightrope walk and crap shoot at one time. Never a day off.
Are you able to sit down and have a conversation with yoru son? Don’t judge, just let him talk. I bet he’s still angry and in denial.
I hope he’s willing to talk to someone and work out his issues. Sure diabetes is a pain, but he can live a long healthy life.
From your description of your son’s behavior it sounds like an antidepressant might be very helpful. Certainly the level of despair and “giving up” you describe indicate there’s more going on than just his diabetes.
I just started reading a book that might help you deal with some of your own emotions around this situation: “How You Can Survive When They’re Depressed: Living and Coping with Depression Fallout.” http://tinyurl.com/5wrjga Whether depression turns out to be part of his problem or not, loving someone in his state of mind takes a lot out of you, as well. Taking good care of yourself is just as important as taking care of him, since the better shape you’re in, the better you’ll be able to help your son.
Not everyone will agree with the author’s biases (antidepressants first, in combination with talk therapy after the drugs have begun to work) but there’s a lot of good self-care information for the non-depressed family member as well, so it may be worth a look.
Damn Patty I feel sorry for you. I just had my first episode of DKA this September and I anit going back. That was when I knew I was diabetic but was enjoying myself in the English tradition of eating oily and starchy foods. Maybe he can’t accept the fact that he is diabetic and maybe feels like the injections and insulin are inhumane so to say. Heck this sounds a little like me when I was first diagnosed in early Feb this year. I ate ice cream every day after dinner just to tell myself that I still am well. I hate to be blunt but I just think that if that is the case I really think that he needs a wake up call to see how serious this is. Now how and what that call would be I do not know. But DKA should have been a big enough call to see that he needs to make some compromise.
I am sorry that I can’t be much of a help but just wanted to say that I feels sorry for you. And that soon your son will see and make a compromise.
Everyone here is incredible. We have pretty much FORCED him to seek psychiatric help for the time being. We have gone to see our family doctor and explained everything to him. He felt it necessary to put our son on an antidepressant as a way to hopefully get things moving in the right direction. Our son still isn’t testing his sugar as he should and his blood sugars are still ranging between 200s and 500s. We are on him constantly but he simply acts as if he just doesn’t care. Unfortunately he doesn’t remember much about his DKA incidents as he is pretty much unconscious and wakes up right before leaving the ICU. All he does once he wakes up is complain about things. He has reduced a couple of nurses to tears before.
Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and concerns. I’ll continue to update as our journey progresses.
patty maybe you can find people his age wiht t1 that he can talk to where you live . I was 10 when i got diabetes and i was pissed off about it for years. I didn’t even know that it was the diabetes that i was pissed about until i was 25. I felt like i was alone and no one understood. and if he needs someone to talk to im always here. my e-mail is lonifarrier@hotmail.com Also i would take him to see people who have had problems from diabetes maybe that would wake him up. it wasnt until i had dka that i started caring what happen with my diabetes
underlying psychiatric conditions need serious consideration because they present coping issues. I can vouch for this first hand, as I am diagnosed with manic depression, better known nowadays as bipolar disorder. I tend towards the mania. I have noticeable problems coping with this curse of a condition, but I still test and take insulin, and do the best I can to eat right even though i’m not perfect. This is definitely scary. I have a chip on my shoulder most of the time. Sound familiar?
