Just checking in for a little support here. My insurance is changing at the end of September so I’ve been catching up on all my checkups and tests (before I go from a $20 copay to a $2000 deductible). Everything is done now except a new A1C. I have the lab slip and I know I have to go in before the end of the month or pay for it myself. The trouble is I’m scared to find out what the new # is.
My last one was 5.7, in February. That was up from 5.0, last July. I know these numbers are nothing to whine about. My fear is that I will find out there’s nowhere to go from here but UP. I had some major life stresses during the spring and early summer, including a flare-up of an old anxiety disorder, and for awhile there my FBG and other numbers did seem to be rising. That scares me! I’m pretty good at managing my stress but nobody’s life is 100% stress-free.
All during the months after I got that 5.0 I felt so good and safe, like I had rescued myself from danger and everything was going to be fine. Then when it went up to 5.7 I badgered myself a little for slacking off, but was determined to get it back down. But I know all that anxiety was not good for me … and I keep thinking, what if it’s even higher now?!
Don’t get me wrong – I’ll definitely get the test, and if I need to make more changes, I will. I just want to find a way improve my perspective &/or attitude about this fear. Information is my friend, right? Not something to avoid or be afraid of. Or so I keep telling myself.
Anyone else have these fears? What did you tell yourself to get through it?