What is it about going to the doctor that I fear? What makes me not want to go? These are the questions I can’t find an answer to… Even the A1C test I fear no matter what the number comes out to be, I fear it. It never seems to fail the fear it always comes. I try to work on my numbers. Try to stay on top of it but sometimes it doesn’t matter what I do. If you anyone has any works of wisdom or comfort any help at all I welcome it Please!!!
Yeah, that fear is real. Honestly, does anyone look forward to an A1C?!
One of the things that makes the A1C result easier to live with is logging my daily blood glucose numbers. The reason this helps: It’s a visual representation of the effort and the dozens of daily decisions I make about what to dose, what to eat, what not to eat, how much to eat, when and how to exercise, how to counteract an out-of-range number, etc.
Of course not all the numbers are in range. But they show the effort I put into daily monitoring (actually doing the checks) and also the effort I put into trying to smooth out the numbers (boluses to correct highs, sensible glucose tabs for lows, basal-rate checking to make sure my background insulin is sufficient, more after-meal checks, checking my carb counts).
I think there is WAY too little appreciation of the effort we put into this disease. Of course everyone cares about the results. And yes, on-target A1Cs are very, very important. But they’re not the only measure of success when it comes to living with diabetes.
So, be proud of your efforts. Look at the doctor visit and A1C as one little, teeny, tiny measurement point in a vast sea of daily decisions. And then it’s fine to come back here and curse about an A1C result that is not what you want or expect or even deserve!
Could part of it be how your doctor reacts to your numbers? It took me a long time to get over the feeling that I’d been “bad” and was going to be in trouble if my A1c was high. Now that I mostly see my wonderful diabetes educator, those numbers feel a lot more like information to help us (emphasis on US) figure out new strategies.
Going on a pump about 1.5 years ago helped, too. Somehow my mindset about BG numbers changed from “bad” or “good” to data needed by my pump to figure out how much insulin I need.
Don’t get me wrong. I spent years living in fear before my appointments so I’m sympathetic to your situation. Having a diabetes educator who acts as if we’re a team makes a big difference. I don’t feel judged.
She also pointed out that my numbers are always better when I come in to see her regularly – and she said it in a matter of fact way, not taking credit for it.
Let us know how it goes. As a sales trainer said to me about 15 years ago, “feel the fear and do it anyway.”
Hang in there!
Hi Bethany you have asked for words of wisdom, so I hope this helps. The fear is yours and you must own, and respect that. ALL of us know that the job of managing blood sugar contol is EXTREMELTY DIFFICULT!!! Please understand that like a camera, your/our glucometers are a snapshot in time and NEVER represent who we are as a human being.
The plain truth is that none of us (until we are diagnosed diabetic) know what we are in for. This is an everchanging disease/lifestyle combination of pros and cons, that we manage litterally on a second by second basis. It is natural to be afraid and unsure. As diabetics we are trying to build a structure where earthqakes occur on a daily basis, which is a tough job right???
Please do the best you can, and be very careful when you are alone for long periods of time. This is much like any disease/disorder/addiction and you are your own primary caregiver. Please align yourself with the best strategies possible for the best lifestyle that you desire. GO GIRL you can do it without question and if you feel you can’t, then please come here and tell us EXACTLY how you feel and we will help you.
I will leave you with a quote from a very famous nine word speech from Winston Churchill "Never give up, never give up, never give up!!!
Love Always
The Anonymous Diabetic.
P.S. If it helps, please go to Oprah’s “Diabetes Support Board” at Oprah.com where I have written a bunch of “chapters” (single pages really) about my thirty five year journey as a very succesful thirty five year insulin dependant diabetic.
LOVE YOU GIRL, HANG IN AND HANG ON!!! LOVE ALWAYS!!!
I think that once we realize that WE are in control of our diabetes (for the most part) and we cannot allow it to control us, then going to the doctor is more exciting. I can’t wait to find out what my A1C from now and discuss things i can change with my doctor. I want to live better, and she can help me! I think it’s exciting. If your doctor spends more time lecturing you about complications than he or she does helping you find ways to take care of yourself, find a new doctor!
I’ll bet when you go to the doctor your numbers are going to be better than what you think. Remember - There’s nothing to fear but fear itself. Good luck!
Thank you all very much for your comments It does help! My appointment is next month and I will be working hard and strong to keep my numbers as good as I can. Thank you all! I’ll post my A1C when I get it. Later and Thanks!
Maybe its fear of the unknown. I know I had that for a while in various aspects of my life, specially in managing diabetes. At one point of my life I got really good at controlling things around me with very little room for error. Then things started to spiral right before I was diagonsed. After being diagnosed I realized that I can control things as much as I can and other things are just going to happen. I decided to work on the smaller goals in life instead of the big picture. I worked fo the quartly trip to the doctor instead of thinking of how I am going to manage the whole year. Then I started thinking how do I manage the month instead of the whole quarter. Then the week and then the day. Fear is a natual thing in life and we all have it. We all have gone through the same thing at one point of our lives that you are going through dont let your fears conquer you, try to conquer your fears in small steps. Take care
Actually your post reminds me so much of myself. For the longest time I was fearful of doctors of any kind. Today I see 12 regularly. Ok, it did not happen overnight and frankly changing is a difficult process. Two things helped me, First, I found a doctor who I thought knew more than I did. I know many GP's are wonderful, but when I saw a GP, he wanted to find something wrong with me every time. I found myself making things up so I could have him treat me. I hated it. he would say things like, you need to have good BS's so you wont go blind. I would say, I know plenty of diabetics who are "good" and they still go blind. Well of course that would set him off and he would never listen to me.
Well after a few times I really got fed up and that led to broken appointments etc. When I got to my current doc, a diabetic doc, he said well rick tell me about you. He became a partner with me and not a competitor. he was not trying to tell me simple stuff, like the GP was all about getting all the prescribed units. the current doc, says hey, your smart here are some things to think about, you figure it out. I love it.
Now the second part and the one I had to get used to. I used to make my appoints when the time came around. No more, I make them for all docs before I leave the office. That way it is locked in, it is already there and I do not have to think about it.
The current doc got me on a pump that also helped immensely. if you are not on a pump I suggest thinking about it if you use insulin. One thing a pump does is record you BS readings for you as you go along. No more sitting down with a blank sheet and writing in BS amounts. It self records and all I have to do is dump the data.
rick phillips