I have this dilemma which I would just like to share…I was diagnosed a month before my wedding about 4 years ago. The docs in California had no clue what was going on with me so test after test they decided I was a type 2…fast fwd to the present where I am now 27 years old and I have been living with the label of being type 1 for the past 3 years. Insulin is supposed to be my best friend but WHY do I not take it. Why do I find it so hard to check my blood sugar? It finally dawned on me that I am ALONE. I have no one to share my diabetic experience with, no one who understands, I feel that I must hide it from the rest of my community because being sick is the worst thing ever. I don’t want anyone to pity me nor do I want anyone to attach a stigma every time I get ill.
I always have extreme highs, I always feel as if no matter what I do I am still going to be sick. I guess what I am trying to say is that from the past four years I still haven’t coped with the fact that I am diabetic.
How can I check my blood sugar when everyone in my house is PERFECT! How can I pop my blood meter in front of the staff that I have lunch with? How do stick my insulin in my stomach right before I eat my lunch? I always think to myself that my only option in going to a bathroom stall and tackle this monster that lurks on my shoulder all day long for the rest of my life.
What do I do? I know I am slowly killing myself but I just don’t have the will power to fight this. I always say to myself so what if my blood sugars are high it won’t hurt me when I clearly know the repercussions. What do you do? I am alone in this battle…I have no one to talk to…my husband doesn’t understand…esp. when I am B**** when my blood sugars are high…he believes I just have a bad personality when that is not the case. He always says that I am two different people 1) being the sweetest person on earth and 2) Hell on heels. I wish there was support in my area where I can meet people MY AGE who understand me.
Where do I start? I thought after having my daughter last year that I would find the will power of controlling my blood sugar. I guess I can just say that I am the sole cause of having these crazy blood sugars to control my life and take control of me.
Can someone help because I am ready to make the change.