Anyone have a T1 child with behavior problems? My daughter, who is 4 1/2 and the first-born (has brother 2 yrs younger), has always had defiant tendencies, even from as young as 6 months old, and it seems they are only getting worse. At first I thought it was just terrible 2s, then terrible 3s, but her behavior is beyond the "normal" terrible. I know this now because her brother, at 2 y/o, is much more compliant. Don't get me wrong, it's not 100% of the time -- she has good days and good moments -- but it's also become an issue at her preschool with teachers and friends.
I did some research and it seems she fits the definition of "oppositional defiant disorder." We're in the process of seeking counseling for her and us as a family, but I have to find a therapist who understands the diabetes /blood sugar part of it. It's so frustrating not knowing if the diabetes is a big part of the problem or just coincidental. She's really great about checking her own blood sugar when told and bolusing herself with her pump, but maybe she's really angry inside about having diabetes?
If anyone else has had a similar experience, I would love to hear from you. Caring for her diabetes is hard enough on all of us, but her behavior issues just add another dimension to it.
Getting a therapist that has experience with children with chronic illnesses is key. I checked out our local children’s cancer program to find out who they use… and it was a God send. The therapist understood the stress that chronic health problems play.
High blood sugar always causes my daughter to act out when she otherwise would not have. Keeping her controlled is key. Maybe you should do her boluses…just thinking out load… Maybe it is too much responsibility at her age…which may be feeding into her behavior. Good luck. Its tough.
A very wise and experienced parent of a young adult daughter with T1D, often reminds people that we need to remember that T1D is not the root of every issue our children have. It is such a natural tendency to wonder if things happen or are made worse because of it. I am recently noticing a trend that my son (dx at 20 months, now 12) is more grouchy when he is heading high. He is also in the throes of puberty hormones, so I’m not sure how much is the hormones and how much is the BG, but my observation is that the hormones are the culprit and the BG trending high exacerbates the reaction in the moment. I have no idea if this is truly what is happening or just something my brain ‘made up’ to explain things
I do think a good counselor would be a wise idea to help you get to the root of the issue. Good luck to you
I strongly recommend the book "Raising your Spirited Child". I have one sone who has always been intense (not oppositional defiant, but hard time with flexibility and transitions and very,very headstrong) The book gave me good tips to help him.
It may just be her personality. My 2 sons are totally different.
The oldest is my step-son who is very verbal, outgoing and impulsive and was later diagnosed as ADD. He always wanted to be involved in all decisions including clothes to wear to school, food for lunch and breakfast. The year we voted to do uniforms at our local school took so much of the morning battle away. Homework, Dinner and bedtime were each also problematic. You could make sure he was in bed, but you could not make him sleep. Everything from morning to bedtime seemed to be a struggle. He always wanted to be the leader, be in control and in charge and the center of attention. A good day was when he had not moved so many tokens at school that he had to visit the Principal's office.
My younger son is exactly the opposite. He is quiet and shy, thinks everything through so long that he almost doesn't make a decision and has a small group of close friends. He eats the same things over and over again for breakfast and lunch during the week which has made carb counting really easy. He is not really into designer labeled clothes and prefers if I pickup a new pair of jeans or t shirt for him. You can usually ask him once and he will agree to do it your way, only occasionally asking your reasoning and then agreeing. Several months into his first year of school, I found him crying in his room one day and finally got it out of him - he had to move 1 token (his first token of the semester!)
The older one is now a Marine. He has the confidence and personality for it and has now learned to be accountable for his actions and decisions. But, it took a long time. He tested some high school teachers to such limits that they would not have him in their classes. It was always like a game with him to see how far he could push people.
The younger one is my T1D and is now at college. He is still compliant with his diabetes treatment, going to class, doing assignments, etc. He does not like at all the conflict of being in trouble and will avoid it at all costs. He does get grouchy when he is low and when his mother is overprotective.
Our T1D child also had some ...let's say, mercurial episodes when he was younger.... we did learn ways to help him (and us!) as well as changing patterns and routines to be more suited to his temperament. I understand how this kind of negative behavior can really create such stress on everyone and upset the family dynamic terribly!! I found the book "The explosive child" very helpful. His older non-D brother didn't get these oppositional behaviors and rages until he was a teenager... which for some strange reason people think is 'normal' lol.
I believe that T1D affects everything about our kids - but of course it is not necessarily the cause of behavior - positive or negative. You know that she has certain tendencies and you are being so wise to get her some help and to learn some techniques that will assist her in controlling her behavior. Could the T1D exacerbate her negative behaviors? Perhaps - the D is a reality and has to be put in the mix no matter what the issue.
As far as finding a therapist who understands chronic conditions, I think Type1Mom's idea of calling the pediatric clinics in your area that deal with chronic conditions is a great idea if your ped endo's office can't help you find someone. If that doesn't work I know some folks in your neck of the woods - let me know if you want me to ask if they know of some therapists around you - message me privately if you would like me to do that.
I have been meaning to reply to this for some time. Our son sounds the same way as your daughter. He was diagnosed at age 2 1/2 and is now almost 7. His first year in school was a HUGE struggle, at home as well as at school. We blamed it on his D and that his numbers were all over the place. Our Educational Assistant(EA) seemed to have her head up her butt and by the end of the year, still did not understand carbs, treatments of diabetes at all. We decided to go with the pump in the summer and see how grade 1 would go. He was still defiant to the point I started to look at what was causing all this. Going to the Doctors, counselling, nurses, countless testing at school and at home. Finally this year he was diagnosed with ADHD. It all made so much sense after the diagnosis. We really didn't want to medicate him, you hear so many horror stories. But after long discussions with his diabetic team and pediatrician we decided to give it a whirl. He started him off on Concerta. Talk about a difference! No more after school meetings about our kid spinning around in class, not sitting down ever during school work. Eating his meals on time like he was suppose to instead of dancing around class for 30 minutes while everyone ate. He listened more at home, where there were much much less arguments about doing everyday things. It got him focused and on target. In the first few months there were a few days we had forgotten to take the pill in the morning, and WOW. By the afternoon you are about to pull your hair out, thinking, how in the hell did I make it through the day before the diagnosis. I thought the same as you about the ODD. But after months and months of testing and seeing different doctors, I didn't care what we found out, just as long as we found out something. ADHD, or ADD or ODD. Whatever it is, you have to find out what it is, before you can start to deal with it. Good LUCK!!
Thanks for the insight. My daughter has been doing better at home and at school, but just last night we went out to eat with my MIL and her boyfriend, took the kids, and what a disaster!! Thank goodness there weren't many people at the restaurant. Both kids were absolutely horrible, but my son only follows his sister's lead. If he were the only child, there would be no problem taking him out. Totally different personality. Mind you, we took diversions with us - markers and coloring books plus her LeapPad, but she wanted none of it.
So I'm seeing a definite pattern that she is terrible when she gets out of her comfort zone, in unfamiliar public places. Not sure what that amounts to, but hopefully they can figure it out when we get to counseling. I understand it at places like Disney where there are tons of people and overstimulation, but last night the restaurant was almost empty and there was no loud music or anything to "stimulate" her. And I don't think the BGs had anything to do with it.
