I'm new to the forum, but I've read posts and things before. I need some advice about being bullied at school.
There are these two guys in my year at school and they've known I have diabetes type 1 since the beginning of the year when they joined the school. However, in the last month or so, they've started using it to annoy me as it's quite a sore point. It got really bad in the past week as when I was doing an injection at lunch like normal, they started making really loud comments about how I must have hepatitis because I inject all the time and that I have aids as well.
I have tried to ignore them, but diabetes is the one thing that I won't be teased about, and when they go on and on about it for the rest of the week, it gets a bit hard to ignore.
My friends are not very supportive about it. They are quite well liked by these guys and aren't hassled at all. They say that the more I respond the more they will tease me about it, which is true, but it's quite hard not to respond when someone says something like that to you. The only friend who actually has any idea about just how rubbish it makes me feel doesn't go to my school so she can't help me at lunchtimes and stuff.
Also, right before an exam which I wasn't taking, one of the guys announced to the room at large that he hated me for no reason. I always quite liked him before this started, and I don't know what I've done to annoy them so much.
I'm also about to go on an insulin pump, and since they steal my meter and insulin if I leave it on the table, I'm a bit worried that it might get damaged.
I think the last person who'd encountered some issues like this, we'd suggested talking to the school? Insulin is > $100 USD/ bottle so stealing it or meters, even for "fun and games", is no laughing matter and they should "get in big trouble". It may suck to call attention to yourself by using the administration but I would think that it would be appropriate. Some kids at my daughter's school apparently "launched" a barrage of anti-bullying education when they made fun of somebody who didn't wear an appropriate suit on some sort of dress-up day.
Personally, I had some of that to deal with in high school and usually responded to it with violence and obscenity, on two occasions I recall, I pushed bullies down in front of teachers one of whom was like "what was that?" (the PE teacher didn't seem to mind from which I inferred that he knew what was going on?) and I'd succinctly outline their "%&$#ing BS" to the teacher and didn't get in trouble either time, which was very fortunate. I have gathered that violence is generally frowned upon but both of the &^%$#@+ left me alone after that.
you could go another way and try and make a mockery of the things that go along with this disease. For example, if they go on about your needle, ask them if they want a hit etc. Say its good s*** and it will mess you up, nearly as much as your mamas face. I dont know, the truth is, if its getting a reaction, even a slight one, they will continue unless you take it further to teacher/principle etc. If it gets to their parents then hopefully they should be disciplined for it. If you cant 'box on' like AR did (lol!) then make fun at the size of their willys. This gets most young guys.
But alas the parent in me says take it to higher up the chain. Or take a dump in their school bags heehee.
I'll try talking to my head of year, and see what he can do about it. Unfortunately AR, my school has a zero-tolerance to violence on school grounds so I guess hitting them is out of the question, although I will bear it in mind as a last resort.
I'm a teacher and I don't think this behavior is o.k. at all. You should have a 504 accomocation on file at school and be able to contact your counselor, principal, etc for any signs of discrimination. This is discrimination against you because you have Type 1 DM. I hope your parents help you with this. Please let us know what happens.
I know exactly what you are going through no joke. When they say something to u just look them in the eye and tell them they have no idea what you have to deal with and that you do what you do to live. They obviously arent as strong as you and me. If that doesnt work TELL SOMEONE. ik thats hard to do but u need to tell someone
It breaks my heart that you are having to deal with this. I’m so sorry that kids can be such jerks. My son has faced a few comments, but, he’s fortunate that his friends are really supportive. I know one thing my son has done is, after a kid makes his ugly remarks, he looks at the kid and asks very calmly “thanks, do you feel better now?” then goes about his business. When a kid on the cross country team was making fun of him, his response (to that kid quietly, not in front of the group) was “yeah, I have diabetes and I can still run faster than you - sucks to be you, huh?” That kid never made another diabetes comment to him and they are friendly (though not friends) now.
Please remember that bullies pick on other kids because they are very insecure and belittling someone else makes them feel better about themselves. It has nothing to do with you - it’s all about them and their insecurities. Knowing that doesn’t resolve your problem, but maybe it will take some of the sting out of their stupid comments.
Also, in working with kids in middle and high school, I’ve noticed that they can be entirely different people one-on-one versus when they are in a group. Is is possible you could handle the issue one-on-one with whoever is the ringleader? When they are off the stage and not trying to impress someone, it might be easier to handle.
If you have a school counselor, maybe he/she could offer some suggestions?
I hope you have a relationship with your parents where you can share this stuff with them and get their support and encouragement. Again, I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. Keep your chin up and remember it’s about those kids being insecure, not about you or your diabetes.
I worked in education for 20 years. Like most everyone else I knew in my profession, I homeschooled my own kid through the high school years just to avoid things like this. It was NOT what I wanted to do, it was a surprise when it worked great. There were no hassles, the kid finished high school in 3 years, had lots of time for extracurricular activities, public service projects, and his true friends, and went on to community college where the other students acted like adults and he got great grades and a good education. If your school can't control the nasty boys, just be aware that you have other options to accomplish the same educational and social goals. There are some schools, though, where bad behavior IS being addressed, and it might help if they just knew about your specific problems. You sound like a mature-minded person, I'll bet on you to leave those trolls in the dust eventually.
Remember, you have done nothing wrong so this is not your problem to deal with or solve. In no way, shape, or form, should you be required to confront the bully, which only leaves you more vulnerable to the bully and only leads to more anxiety.
Every adult on the campus should be responsible for making sure that the school is a safe environment for everybody. Any adult should be able to deal with this problem directly without giving you advice regarding how you should handle the situation. Ultimately, this is the principals problem to deal with, either under his/her direct supervision through school personnel, or directly him/herself.
It may be easier to talk to an adult you trust, first, but if that adult is not willing to consult the principal for whatever reason, then take the issue directly to the principal yourself. If the principal does not take your situation seriously, inform your parents and have them talk directly to the principal.
Your school must have a comprehensive plan for dealing with bullies. If they don't, it's time for somebody to provide some incentive for them to develop one.
Hi Tiggy, I thought about you all yesterday after reading what has been going on with you, I did not have time to reply yesterday, but see you have received some great advise, I hope you take it to heart and see that it is them that have a problem not you. by engaging them you participate in the drama, a well scripted comment to one of the 'ring leaders' alone does sound somewhat promising, messing with your things is not ok! and definitely a reportable offense if it continues, image the home life they may be raised in to behave this way, most likely no love, support or compassion coming their way. In any case, I shared this parable with anna when she was having troubles and she seemed to enjoy it, i'm guessing you are close to being done with high school and moving on to meet more like minded compassionate people in college! wishing you better days and continued confidence in yourself to handle any situation and rise above others drama and find your own sense of calm and wellbeing!
Buddhist Parables: Gift of Insults, Often, it is easy to forget that our emotions are within our control. Insults and harsh words can only cause harm if permitted to, as we see in this story of a wise old warrior. The Gift of Insults Once there lived a very old warrior, and although he had grown old in age he remained able to defeat anyone who confronted him. Students would follow him, hoping to learn and receiving lessons from the old warrior's insight and experience. One day a stranger came to the village. This stranger was a young warrior and this young warrior was determined to defeat this undefeatable old man. The young warrior was confident, not only in his own strength but in his ability to spot weakness in any opponent he had ever battled. He had a strategy: wait for the opponent to make a move, the weakness would be revealed, and the young warrior would strike hard and fast and win, every time. The old warrior's students feared for their master's safety, for he was quite old and this young warrior seemed intimidating, but the old warrior brushed them aside and accepted the young warrior's challenge. As they began the fight, the old warrior remained still. The young warrior began shouting insults at the old man. He spit at the old man and threw dirt at him, trying to anger his opponent into striking first. But the old man waited. For hours the young warrior continued his bashing of the old warrior, only to be met with the calm gaze of the old warrior's eyes. Finally, the young warrior accepted the old man was just not going to strike first and he walked away, ashamed for he had been defeated without the old man even lifting a finger. The students crowded around the old warrior, disappointed that their master didn't throw the young warrior about and teach him a lesson for insulting him so. They asked, "How could you just stand there and take such insults and disrespect? Why didn't you fight him and throw him out of the village?" The old warrior looked at his students and said, "If someone comes to give you a gift, and you do not receive it, to whom does the gift belong?" The students realized they had much to learn, and went about following the master's instructions.
Thank you for all your advice. I spoke to my head of year at school today and he is going to have a word with the main ringleaders and then get back to me when he has spoken with them to see what they say about it.
I'm a secretary in schools so my recommendation is to talk to your assistant principal. If nothing you do is keeping these jerks off your back, then it's time to talk to someone especially if they are stealing your meter, etc. Theft is theft and they can certainly get a suspension for what they are doing. I can guarantee you that if administrators found out that they were picking on you specifically about your diabetes they'd be in trouble. Don't be afraid to speak up about this either. You have every right to be comfortable to test and give your injections out in the open with some jerk hassling you. Don't walk around filled with anxiety because of some jerks. You deserve respect.
I guess Im a little late here but I hope things worked out for you. I definitely would be talking to a principal, teacher, and nurse about this. This story really burns me up as people are so mean. I know at my daughter's school they would not tolerate any of this.
The advice has been great. Be aware that most kids will lie and evade when spoken to by authority. So the bullies will probably try to turn it back on you - saying you are too sensitive. There is no such thing - it is how you feel and it is your right (morally AND under the law)..
Hang in there! By you having the strength to stand up for what's right you will be helping some other kid avoid this nonsense.
