Can't look at myself in the mirror

This is my first time in a group of people who are just like me. I’ve been too embarrassed to say that Ihave ddiabetes. What started out gestational is still here 2 years later. Ive lost so much body fat. So much that ppl look at me in shock as if OMG…Saddened and concerned, I am in the ER trying to find out why im losing so much weight unintentionally. How can I stop losing? Does diabetes make u lose weight unintentionally? How can I gain it back? If these are dumb questions I apologize

Welcome. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Diabetes is not a personal failure, it's your body not working correctly.

You don't mention how your blood sugars have been. If they are high most of the time, then you could definitely be having uncontrolled weight loss. (I lost 50 lbs and wasn't very overweight to begin with….) Getting your blood sugars under control is a good 1st step for both your concern about weight and your overall health. In whatever way possible - diet, exercise, pills or insulin. (Insulin is nothing to be ashamed of either - it's just a hormone that our bodies don't deal with correctly.)

There are no dumb questions. So continue to ask away. This site is a helpful place for both information and support.

You may want to look into whether you actually have Type 1 diabetes vs Type 2, due to your relative youth and need to gain weight. Although in many ways the label doesn't matter, a proper diagnosis is helpful. You can research the term LADA here or elsewhere to see if you think it applies to you.

Sorry that you've had to join our club. But best wishes on feeling better and coming to terms with your diagnosis. Hugs.

Rapid weight loss is a symptom of uncontrolled Type 1 diabetes. Gestational diabetes can be autoimmune gestational diabetes (here is a link to my blog on autoimmune GD). Please ask your doctor for autoantibody testing (GAD, ICA, IA-2, and ZnT8) and the c-peptide test to see if you may have Type 1 diabetes. If you do have Type 1, the treatment is exogenous insulin.

Thanks for the speedy response roodgirl youhv made me feel much better I now feel less ashamed and I thank you. My sugars are always high and rather than look at the numbers by testing, just don’t but as I’ve stated, I look strange and I don’t know how to get back to my norm. I wont go out unless I have to because of the looks I get. Please help make the weight loss stop

please write down all those tests that Melitta mentioned and take them to your doctor. I thought the exact same thing as she did.

you came to the right place. you don't have to be embarrassed here, and there is no such thing as a dumb question here. I've had it a long time, and 6 years ago I joined here, and asked a lot of questions about things that perhaps I should have known about, and no one made me feel like I should have known better. welcome to the community.

I absolutely agree there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are in good company, here! I also lost 40 pounds at diagnosis. I don't know how old you are, but make sure they don't diagnosis you with Type 2 because you are "too old for Type 1". Make sure you get the tests Melitta mentions. Also be sure they test your thyroid, because if you are hyperthyroid that can also make you lose weight rapidly. Do come back here and let us know how you're doing.

Please make sure to find a doctor who specializes in diabetes to get an accurate diagnosis. Your story sounds similar to my own.

I was diagnosed with gestational early in my pregnancy and started on insulin right away because the results of the glucose tolerance test were so high they knew right away I would need insulin. About 6 months after delivery, I began losing weight rapidly. The doctor at the time diagnosed me as Type 2 because I was 27 so was "too old for Type 1" and started me on a series of oral medications while I continued to lose weight and feel horrible. I was actually begging him to put me on insulin. As soon as I started insulin, I gained the weight back and began to feel better.

I finally found my way to an endocrinologist who specializes in Type 1, who told me I had been misdiagnosed and was actually Type 1. I've been with the same doctor now for about 26 years.

Hang in there and keep pushing until you find answers and treatment that works for you. I wish you the best. I can so empathize with you because I know it feels scary when you know something isn't right with your body. But when you find the right treatment, it gets better. Take care.

Melita is right, get those tests. I also lost far too much weight. I am 6 ft plus and dropped from 180 to 140. This all can vary from person to person, but it only took a few weeks of proper treatment for me to gain most all of it back. Since then I have been steady at my old range without any issues.

For me, the most critical thing to successfully dealing with this has been learning all I can about D, how it works in general and how it works for me soecifically. This community has been the cornerstone of those efforts. Learn all you can and be in control. I consider myself the leader of my medical team. No one else is there every minute of every day.

RLangley, the inescapable truth is that you have diabetes, it is a very serious disease, and must not be ignored.

The good news is that you can treat and control it so that it has a very minimal impact on your overall health, so that you can live a "normal" life like anyone else. Also, treatment has advanced so much over the last 30 years that treating D is more of an inconvenience than a handicap or debilitating.

That said, though, there is only one successful path forward for you: You must get yourself up to speed on what it takes to treat this disease, get on the bandwagon, and get your BG down and keep it down.

As others have said, your symptoms appear to be out of control T1. I agree that's most likely. However, as a previous out of control T2, I can say from direct experience that your symptoms do not rule out T2 with a nearly spent pancreas.

Next steps:

  • Get going with an Endocrinologist to supervise your treatment.
  • Learn about carb counting
  • Learn about basal vs. bolus insulin
  • Start testing frequently -- at least before each meal (3), before bed and when you get up (2 more), and ideally 2 hours after each meal, but that one's optional (3 more). So you need to be testing 5-8 times a day, at least in the beginning as you get this under control.
  • Some attitude adjustment: Don't be afraid of testing because you might see high numbers. Be afraid, very afraid, of not testing and therefore not seeing the high numbers -- that you can then do something about. High numbers are not scary -- blindness, amputations, kidney failure, and a whole host of other bad bad complications are scary. These happen when you don't test, and don't react to that data.
  • Spend a lot of time here, becoming a part of the community, getting support. D is not a walk in the park. As I said, it can be effectively managed to the point of being more of an annoyance in your life rather than a disability. But this is up to you. Being a part of this community will help alot with the feeling of being overwhelmed, not knowing what to do, strength to get on top of it, getting picked back up when you fall. We all do. TuD makes a huge difference in getting back on track.
  • Most of all, do this for yourself. You have a great life ahead of you, if you take charge of this condition.

Thanks to all of you for the support and great advice. I love this community…Thanks to my new friends! Blessings to each and every one of you.

Thanks, RL!

Stay connected and active here, open up and let us share in how you're doing with your BG management. We all have plenty of our own failures, screw-ups, stupidity, selfishness, etc. that leads now and then to irresponsible behavior in managing D. Most of us have found having a crowd of other screw-up idiots who make the same mistakes makes it much easier to get back on the horse :-)