Daughter 13 and refusing shots

Hi Would like to hear thoughts and advice, we are unable to afford pods anymore and we are going to have to go back to shots, unfortunately, our teen is not accepting this and refusing shots altogether. Any ideas or tips to get her to understand this? We are cash pay. Thanks! Natalie

13 years old is a difficult age. Your daughter is starting to emerge as wanting to make her own decisions. Did you make this choice about what you can and cannot afford? Did you involve her? If you asked her whether she would rather you sold the car to buy her pods or kept the car and did the shots, what would she say?

Perhaps you can reframe this as something where she is directly involved in the decision and impacted by the choice. If she had to give up some discretionary expenses in order to afford the pods would she? And why not let her.

At some point, no shots= ER. I dunno if the ER might consider "no shots" as a psych issue as much as a D issue. They might stabilize her with IV insulin but they might also want to look into what to do about what they might perceive as a psych issue.

I agree with Brian. Letting her in on the decision or explaining to her that you went through other even more undesirable options and this was the best choice. At first it will really not be fun but I think she will understand that she is a part of her family "team" and sometimes she's got to be a team player.
I think she will feel better when she understands that she is helping the family with this decision.

And with good reason, no? You or I did that, we'd need a psych eval. To address the problem, sounds like better discussions need to be had… does she understand the consequence of no insulin by shot?

What is her expectation of that action? What solution(s) does she desire. Anything you CAN achieve for her? All kinds of possible, if anybody can figure out what she actually wants, beyond the immediacy of the pods.

omg, Natalie, I haven't been on here in ages and just saw this. how are things going. honestly I think Jacob would have a very hard time with this as well. I hope you guys are able to swing something with insurance, or something. I know kids just expect so much but this is a big one its like having something like a fancy cell phone and saying no we cant afford this honey but we will need you to find a pay phone to call us..... oh this breaks my heart I hope perhaps you all can reassess some finances as at this tough age this could be a game changer for all of you. please let me know how you are doing. Amy

Natalie, Stuart wroteWhat is her expectation of that action? What solution(s) does she desire. Anything you CAN achieve for her? All kinds of possible, if anybody can figure out what she actually wants, beyond the immediacy of the pods. I do so agree. You can have a solution. Natalie, I know you may have tried to explain this to your dear daughter, to no avail. But does she really want to be sick and eventually on death's door if she does not take her insulin? Sounds like a strong cry for "Look at me and feel my pain and confusion." But of course she does not have to take that route( refusal of treatment) to get your attention and validation.. Let her know that. God bless

Praying for you and your family

hi again Natalie, you are sooo on my mind, I forgot to mention that when Jacob first considered the pod, my husbands company had a cap on durable medical supplies which is what they consider the pod to be so it was out of our reach, I wrote a heart wrenching letter to the head of HR at my husbands company and they changed the policy for the whole company!! I never seem to get a bill for his pods but I think we pay a copay ... moral of the story being there are some people with a heart out there that will take into consideration the needs of a child keep trying and keep us posted honestly if our insurance didn't cover I would give up all our seemingly necessary items and work a second job so that he would feel that he comes first. I know in our society kids always get what they want but this is not a new toy it is a life saving medical device!! blessing and hope to you both, amy

First of all I am so sorry that you are dealing with this, it is such a tough place. I guess I have two bits of advice.

First and foremost, therapy is a very appropriate course of action. Consult with a nearby medical center and ask if they have a program with kids for therapy. I know they have one at Indiana University medical so maybe you can find one in your area. Even if you cannot I would get her to a child oriented therapist. I would do this regardless of the outcome. This will be the first of many challenges she will face as teenage diabetic and frankly as I have shared many times, I wish my parents had placed me in therapy after I was diagnosed at 17, it would have saved a world of turmoil later on.

Second I would directly appeal to the insurance company and as Jacob's mom suggests to the employer. I would enlist her help in doing this provided she returns to MDI and stop the aggression. Hopefully she will see that magic wands do not exist. As you make calls and write letters, have her write letters and maybe make calls, as well. You can control what is being sent in and doing so will give her a sense of two things. First how tough this is to get an extra approval and second how hard you and she are fighting to overcome the insurance company.

Right now you are the enemy, mom is making me do this and mom wont let me do that. Make the insurance company the enemy that both of you are fighting. Trust me they will not mind being the enemy, that is one thing all insurance companies do very well. In fact they perfected the imagine.


Lighten up a bit, Stuart. she's a 13 year old adolescent. This is not some psychopathic situation -- pretty typical for a teenage kid. Do you have children?

To be clear, everything you and everyone else has pointed out about the seriousness of the risk is spot on. However, the analysis is way off.

In my opinion, getting her involved with other teen type 1's to help with this. Also, on the immediate short term, a third party like an endo out cde is good advice.

I agree dave absolutely she is a teen, if you were told you couldn't have the luxury and convenience of your pump ( if you use one) you would be very upset, albeit able to be a bit more mature about the situation being a grown up and all but still just the learning curve of going backwards my son can eat up to 10 times a day that many needles not pretty. if this is the only way the family can stay afloat yes a lesson in doing with less is going to have to set in but if there is any other way.......