I was diagnosed with Type 2 in 2004. I was very diligent at first and took care of myself properly and even quickly lost 15lbs. Within a year I became very relaxed with my regime and then just acted like my old self---eating anything and everything I wanted---knowing I shouldn't but did it anyway. I've been on many different oral meds. and now have been on Lantus and Novolog for 3years. My A1C May12 was 10.0--it was 11.1 when I was diagnosed. I'm back where I started and still in denial. I just need someone to make me understand why I'm so resistant in taking care of myself. I'm an intelligent person--I am a respiratory therapist at Shriners Burns Hospital in Galveston. My husbands no help--one of my daughters is very good about encouraging me to take better care of myself--the other 2 kids don't say much. I need "to own it" and start from there. My weight is up-203lbs!!! uNBELIEVABLE AND i'M 5'4"----aND i'M 58YRS OLD---DEFINTELY OLD ENOUGH TO BE COMPLIANT!

Someone please help me!

hope this helps. it seems that my fighting who i am down deep inside does more harm then good. i’ve been diagnosed for about a year & 1/2 and who knows for how long before that i’ve been diabetic. soo… my rational is if i’ve had this for probably the last 10 to 12 years ( i’m 71 ) in worsening degrees ( drs. seem to think it’s age related ) and am still functioning reasonably well; i must have stared a about age 58. same as your age now. your just a kid by my scale. i seem to have settled on a 2-3 week cycle. i can stay the routine for 1/2 to 3/4ths of the time. when i lose it i truly try to make it a managed losing. i’m italian so the carbs are big in our dining. but i accept that most of the time i can cut down on them but once and a while i just got to go to my old ways. i’m fortunate that my wife who cooks all our meals, shopping etc. has become v ery cab. aware and realizes looking out for me also helps her with her weight control. i need to control blood sugar she weight are we a good team. no but do we care enough about ourselves to want to generely stay on top of things. yes!!! so we strugle counting carbs and cal. same really. do we take it as a damed for lif ordeal. no just stay with it as best we can but not imagine we’re going to be 5-stars complients. 3-4 stars is best we can do. and don’t go on a guilt trip if we don’t make it every day. your daughter that encourages you is your best hope. how much she cares for you. it’s not that the others including husband don’t care it’s they just don’t know how to help. take care of you and don’t feel you are if not a 5 star then a loser.

Thanks Frank- my husband does ask me to write him a list of things I can and should eat–and he would cook it–I just haven’t done that. I know if I buy the right things and get all the bad out of the house I could control what goes in my mouth–once again-denial. I do want to be healthier–so I have been trying since my drs. appt. last week—its just so hard to break all the old habits and have new ones—and I know it can be done. I’ll let ya know how this long wk-end goes—I’ll eat my BBQ without the sauce and NO potato salad!

I totally understand! I am stilling fighting denial. Sometimes I’m okay with it and then sometimes I’m off the “wagon”. Binging on everything in sight…this of course makes me feel ill and sleepy. I have (some) supportive people in my life and they have given me the “talk”.But in the end it is really up to us. We can do it! YOU CAN DO IT JOY!

When a life-changing diagnosis hits late in life, I think it’s tough to change what was routine (aka “things we took for granted”). Perhaps the “denial” is simply a struggle to deal with what feels overwhelming: A diagnosis late in life is disruptive to your routine; you can’t see immediate results of your work; there’s a lot to think about and do and change just to manage the disease; and you have a busy schedule and a family to take care of – who has time for self-management?

Maybe the answer is to set incremental, easily achievable goals instead of going for all-out, wholesale change. Walk a bit each day for 20 minutes until it becomes a habit that, without it, you feel as if you missed something. (I make a game of it – if I hit two miles, I tell myself to go just a few blocks more.) When you’re comfortable with that, make a deal with yourself to eat (for example) one-third less at each meal than you might otherwise.

Is it possible that part of the denial stems from just the tiniest touch of what might be a sense of medical professional infallibility? Were I in the medical field, I’d probably feel that way. It was hard enough to make the switch from never dealing with chronic anything (not even allergies) to full-scale, 24/7 Type 1 diabetes.

I did discover, though, that it was much easier to acclimate to incremental changes. Perhaps give it a try? Good luck!

[With regard to Tom Duncombe’s (unnecessarily harsh, I thought) commentary… Nowhere in the post does the word “responsibility” appear. True enough, it isn’t the husband’s responsibility – but he can certainly opt to be SUPPORTIVE, which I believe was the gist of Joy’s post.]

No matter how old you are coming to terms with this illness and the implications of noncompliance are sometimes too much to handle. I myself was diagnosed in 04’ and am now trying to get back under control. My last A1C was 7.1 in February and i’m desperately trying to get back down to a level where I no longer fear that my body will fall apart…i’m only 30. I wish you all the luck.

Thank you E V—your note had made me feel encouraged–thank you for taking the time to write. Tom–you sound mad at me–or are you just an angry person. Please no more unhelpful comments.

P.S. I can’t think of a more difficult job than raising kids, and you’ve done it with three. Exercise and changing diet should be easy by comparison, and the bonus is that you’re doing it for YOU.

All the same, Tom, this site is meant to be a community of support – not a medium for unfettered berating.

You are correct in that many here do invest time and effort in self-care without the benefit of lowering their A1c. And yes, there are those whose sub-standard self-care reflects negatively on the people who actually give a d*mn.

You are able to exert yourself on your own behalf – Bravo. You segregate yourself from T2s because you don’t wish to be guilty by default – you’d have made a great Confederate. You obviously are mature and proactive and don’t make excuses or blame others for your problems – good for you.

But none of that gives you the right to berate someone – in public or otherwise – for being inferior to you.

Welcome Joy. I think you have made a big step coming here. Many of us have nonone around who understands what it means to have diabetes and really how to deal with the changes that are necessary. I’m not talkin about just giving up table sugar. I’m talking about making life altering changes. I’m talkin about changing your priorities. I’m talkin about making choices about what foods are on the table because of your needs, not someone elses desires. And it will affect those around you. I’m really talkin about you making “taking care of yourself” a priority. To this day, my wife “whines” at times. She does not like having to “accomodate” my needs. Well tough sh*t. I now make all the meals in the house and I shop for food, and I make the decisions. That is just the way it has to be.

You work in a hospital. You know what you need to do. You also realize in your heart that only “you” can save yourself. Haven’t you felt angry? Use that. You need to get to the point where you accept this “diabetes” and make the necessary changes in your life.

There are lots of people here to help. You’ve done a brave thing coming here to talk about this.

Joy, could you be my long lost twin sister? Seriously, I am smart, I am 57, I have lost 50 lbs, and gained some back, and I used to call myself the “poster child” at our clinic for diabetes. I really was good at taking care of me, but like you fell off that wagon and now I can’t even see the wagon, it’s gone over the hill. I am known as being noncompliant about a lot of things. But one thing that was said here, that repeats it’self in my ear everyday, is that with everything that I do that isn’t healthy, I put a nail in my coffin, I take away a glimmer of light from my eyes, or maybe a part of a toe. That rather shakes me up a little bit, but obviously not enough to be consistent everyday.

So, here’s my proposal to you. I will be your person and you can be mine. We don’t have to make any big major changes unless we want to, we just check in with each other as often as we can. I tend to be able to do it more often, cause I am at home. You do it when you can. We just talk to each other about how we are doing, do we follow a program, do we exercise, do we drink water do we take our meds, is stress getting to us…whatever…I believe that we will bring ourselves around to being better diabetics, meaning, taking care of us.

What do you say? You can PM me and let me know. I’d love to be your person, and I need one myself

Tom, I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a judgment call, who gave you the right to talk so cruelly to another person? Tom, really, some people do have problems adjusting to the idea of being a diabetic, having any kind of problem that requires major adjustments in their lives. We are not all like you who adjusts to things quickly and very well. Give people a break, could you look up the work compassion, emphathy, understanding, acceptance? I find your behavior to be rude and much like a bully. Positivity works much better than riding a person about being weak, or unable to care for themselves…what gives you the right? I believe your attitude is way out of line. But you know what, I’ll let you have your attitude, and continue to be respectful of those who are in need of some support.

Cathy, you exemplify “community”!

It sounds like you have a very strong desire to be the support for your family. just remember to do that, sometimes you have to take care of your own needs (with your families support of course) so you can meet your long term goals of being there for them.

PS, give yourself some credit too :wink:

Hi, Joy. Great to see you here and to make another diabetes friend.

Please, I beg of you, start small! Don’t fret about however much weight it is you think you need to lose and wait for it to happen. Too often in this society, weight loss doesn’t happen. If blood sugars are off target, consider that you may need to take more insulin (insulin matched to what you’re actually eating instead of what you wish you would eat) to tame the numbers. When your blood sugars are closer to target, you are likely to feel more like doing all those numerous things we’re supposed to do to take care of ourselves. You’ll have more energy to take that very beneficial daily walk. You’ll have more pride in saying “I didn’t have the cake” or “I chose to work the cake into my day” than all the guilt you’re experiencing right now.

Instead of owning “it,” which is a complex thing, own today just one little part of self-care—whatever small step you feel confident you can do. Have success with one thing, then it’s much easier to move onto the next thing.

So often I’ve bemoaned my own lack of willpower. Then I realized that much about diabetes self-care has nothing to do with willpower. It has to do with creating a life and an environment and a circle of support that helps you succeed. And that simply can’t be done all at once.

But every little bit, such as visiting here and talking with those of us who share the same concerns, helps. Best wishes! Keep us posted on how you’re doing.

What’s your one thing, your one small improvement in self-care going to be today? It sure helps to post it here, create a little bit of accountability, and hear the support. For me, I’ve just decided I’ve been slack with my physical activity. I’m dedicating my walk after work to you :slight_smile:

Joy, I absolutely understand what you are going through. I think it is absolutely normal. And Denial is the perfect word- despite what others may say- for what you are experiencing. I was diagnosed 9 years ago. I have become compliant for the first time. I have days where I eat what I shouldn’t, don’t test, don’t do insulin and don’t exercise. The trick for me is not punishing myself for my mistakes, and not saying “Tomorrow, I’ll do better”, I start immediately. If I mess up and eat my husband’s french fries, I say “Oh well, it was one slip, but I’m in control again” and go from there. If I give myself license to make mistakes for the rest of the day, I’ll do it. But saying: Ok- one slip, lets get back on track. Think of it like figure skaters… if they miss a jump, do they just stop? NO, the keep going like nothing happened. And sometimes they make it the rest of the day, and sometimes they slip again, but they try.

It’s hard to OWN something that is so sneaky. I’m sure if you are like me, that you could be running high and never even know it. It would be different if you had alarms going off willy-nilly saying “Time for this, or time for that” but we don’t have that luxury. The only way to start is like Kelly Rawlings said, start small. It works. Good luck, we are all pulling for you.