So, now I am a diabetic

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Hello everyone. Please bear with me as I figure out all the cool stuff this forum can do. Further I ask your patience in hearing from me stuff that is likely old hat and perhaps cliche for many of you.

So, ok, I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes on 6/2/10. Though four years ago I was told I was on the road to diabetes. Well I've arrived. I had an A1C of 10.

I am on 2000 mg of metformin, Zocol, and a daily injection of something called Victoza, plus checking my blood something like 7 or 8 times a day.

Please don't take offense, but to me this is a horror show. I suppose I will settle in and get used to it, I will get there. But I am not there yet, and I won't get there by avoiding being here. And here it is a horror show of constant relentless self imposed violations and mini-mutilation of my skin, graphic and dire consequences if I fail, and a redifinition of success, not as conquering, but as slowing down something progressive and irreversible.

It took me 20 minutes to do my first injection. 20 minutes of revulsion and fear and anger. I've got that down to a minute or less. I hope some day to laugh at it, and laugh at myself for being such a woosie, but, well, I'm not there yet. I started out doing them in the afternoon, as I am groggy in the morning and I wanted to be clear headed and mindful as I learned all the steps. Now that I know what I am doing, I do it first thing in the morning, so as to not have this 'thing", this dread, hanging over my whole day.

And I have all this stuff, all this medical stuff, to deal with, figure out, learn. Classes and handouts, and plastic food models, and charts to fill out before I eat, charts to fill out after I eat. I mean its not like I had nothing else to do.

OK jokes over. I don't want to play anymore. I don't want to be a diabetic. Where is the exit, the off button.

I was told that I could make this all go away if I lost 100 lbs. I can do that, sure, if I eat nothing but dry toast and ice water for two years. Oh wait, can I eat toast?

The person I was on June 1 seems so very far away. And I can never go back there. Even if I do everything right, I can never get back to that person. I can never not be a diabetic.

Sorry, I haven't been taking this well. Still in all, this is more of a pity party than I intended. And the sarcasm does not make a good first impression, I know. I hope to be able to look at this post someday in the future and laugh at it as well. Until then thank you for letting me rant.

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I’m type 1 but sometimes it feels like I’m starting over all the time, hang in there this site is very supportive

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A bike ride works wonders too! I can ride my bike for maybe 15 minutes a day to go to and from my friends house, and my BG does amazing. If i do that every day (and i usually do) i have zero problems with my bg getting high on me.

Excercise helps a ton, and just being careful with what you eat does too. Usually for every sweet thing out there, there’s something that’s just as good, but lower in sugar.

Just keep your head up. It’s not as terrible as it may seem. It’ll be tough for the first while, but once you get the hang of it, it’s not that hard at all. (Though, there can be problems, but that’s what we’re all here for!) :slight_smile:

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Hi Jeff,

Welcome to our community.

Understand how utterly overwhelming it is. One day your life changed drastically & being angry is normal. What other reaction is there? Mourning & longing for our former lives is also normal. So, rant on & ask whatever you need to know.

Despite the unfortunate popular misconception, you’re not responsible for being T2. Yep, losing weight will help greatly with insulin resistance, but this doesn’t mean diabetes could have been avoided. Controlled–yes, avoided–no.

A great site to check out http://www.bloodsugar101.com. I was fortunate to stumble upon this shortly after being diagnosed when I was confused & frustrated to the point of losing it. A book that changed my life (sorry for the cliche) was Dr. Richard Bernstein’s Diabetes Solution.

I promise that it does get much easier.

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Welcome Jeff, yes it is overwhelming and its hard to deal with and all that goes with it. It just takes time. There isnt a day that any of us dont think about it everyday. Its always there.

As mentioned continue to read this website and contribute. Many with similar stories will help you and you can help them. We are all here to help you with it.

I am on Victoza also so I will be curious to know how you do on it. I am getting great control with it and hope you do also.

Check in again and let us know how you are doing.

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Hey Jeff, I am new to the forum as well but no stranger to diabetes. In fact, reading your post, I remember every thought that enter my head when I was diagnosed.
It feels like a scary new world I am sure, but you are not alone. Just take it day by day. I won’t lie, things are different now but try to look at it like this. Now you may be open to try new things, new food, new activities that before you were told you were diabetes, you may have never tried or cared to tried.
At one time, I looked at diabetes like a death sentence and all I could focus on was what could happen if i didn’t manage my diabetes…
One day I woke up and realized, this diabetes was managing me, and well to be honest, I did not like that. So it was time to take control. It’s your body, who’s going to run, you or diabetes. Don’t you think diabetes has had a free ride long enought. Take yourself back, you are stronger than diabetes…
Hugs and take care

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Rant, vent all you want that’s what were here for!!! LOL Oh, yes no matter what you hear this stuff sucks. The stabbing is no fun. For me it was out of the blue no warning!!! No feel good next thing I know I am in ICU with them telling me I should have been in a coma!!! Do your best, that’s enough!! Oh, me type 1 dx’ed aug./08 at 52 years old. Here’s some info on my dx. Blood sugar 672, a1c of 13.8 and DKA. Being a dart board is not so bad, better than the other choice. LOL Welcome!!! Don’t feel alone.

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I think its the Victoza that is making me feel full all the time. I don’t seem to get hungy. In fact, with everything I know about food these days, the whole idea of eating is kind of revolting.

I feel like Alex from Clockwork Orange, after the aversion therpy, when he gets sick every time he has a violent thought.

I feel like the joy of eating has been stolen from me.

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I fear I am not, (yet), stronger than the diabetes. Its like my whole definition has been changed. I used to be this guy, that had these interests, and goals, and challenges, and plans. And now, I am a diabetic.

I don’t know how to go from being a diabetic, to being a person who, among other things, (some of them wonderful), has diabetes.

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Welcome aboard. It does get better. And we all tend to have our rant days.

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Oh great, so losing 100 lbs won’t “fix” it either. As if I could lose 100 lbs.

All you have to do is go back to when you were 6 years old, and instead of becoming a shy sedentary nerd, become an active athletic type.

The cure is really straight forward. All that stuff about “just be yourself”, well forget it. Turns out, yourself was a bad idea. Yourself has diabetes. You have to be someone else. Someone who doesn’t have diabetes.

Sorry for the sarcasm. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

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I told my doctor, as he described all the options and medications and all that - I said, look, lets cut to the chase and proscribe me one pill that makes me thin, attractive, healthy, rich, and popular. Why are we diddlefarting with all these details, just cut to the chase.

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JeffD, when I was first diagnosed November of 2009, I had an A1C of 10.5%. Surprisingly, I was NOT put on right away on all the meds that you were… I guess cus I got bossy and insisted I wanted to try it with diet alone, and exercise, right away… Maybe they just wanted to let me fall on my face, later, I do not know… but I did it! Scary as it was, in the beginning… I did it. And so can you. :slight_smile: While I am not promising that you won’t need all your medications, ever, I am suggesting that you CAN get this Diabetes “diet” thing down, and that you CAN reach peace with yourself, and not feel like your life is over… We are here to help you, and answer any questions at all that you might have.

Diabetes, in a nutshell, is a disease in which the body cannot process glucose effectively (whether the body has become resistant to the insulin the pancreas produces, or the pancreas has stopped making insulin altogether.) Glucose comes from EVERYTHING we eat, and the body derives a percentage of glucose from all foods. The food group that gives people the most glucose is carbohydrates. My main suggestion to you is to eat carbohydrate amounts according to what your glucose meter says. What does this mean? It means testing before you eat, noting how many grams of carbohydrate your meal has, and then testing again 75 minutes to 2 hours after your meal. If your post meal blood sugar (called a postprandial blood sugar) is higher than your goal should be (which for some folks it’s 180 mg/dL, some others 140 mg/dL after 2 hours… and some people go for 120 mg/dL after 2 hours), then you should reduce your portion of carbohydrate for that meal, or consider eliminating one item (if you have added 2 or 3 servings of carbohydrate to that meal). If you spike the most in your breakfast meals, consider testing for only 15 grams of carbohydrate in the morning… Yes, this means NOT having any cereals (cold or hot)… and sticking to things like eggs, Wasa crackers, and things like 1 or 2 slices of breads such as “Sarah Lee 85 Calories and Delightful, Honey Wheat” (which only has 14 grams of carb for 2 slices)… And who says we have to have ‘breakfast-y food’ at breakfast… You can have chicken, and salad, or beef an steamed veggies… or heck, have a steak and eggs. :slight_smile: You can try for 30 grams of carbs at lunch, or dinner… This regimen of 15-30-30 should be okay, in the beginning, to help you have lower numbers for a while, till you get to a healthy level. With time, you can add more carbs, and test with your glucose meter to see how your body responds, and if it’s okay. Protein converts to glucose to about half as much as carbs, so though it won’t spike much on it’s own, or with a low amount of carbs, if you have a higher carb meal (higher than 30 grams), if you have a lot of protein, you may spike… So it’s also a balance game.

Most people here will tell you… that the only thing that lowered their lipid profile (cholesterol, triglycerides, etc) and their numbers was lowering their carbohydrate intake… and not their fat intake. For now, focus on lowering those carbs at meal time, and perhaps having more Omega-3 friendly fats, such as olive oil and peanut butter. Enjoy all kinds of non-starchy veggies, and dark greens, and salads. You will need to eat more protein and fat to make up for the carbs you’re not eating… But that’s OKAY! :slight_smile:

As long as you can portion it out, turn it into a lower carb alternative, you can have it. :slight_smile: I still eat pizza, and burgers, and bacon… I have lost 70 lbs, my A1C is now 5.5%, and my lipid profile is lower than ever. :slight_smile: Just take it one step at a time… Do not try to do too much in one day. And like Ducky says, go for a light walk after your meals… :slight_smile: Even just a walk around the block helps.

We’re here for ya.

Liz

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I still hate this too. Just not as often anymore.

"Oh great, so losing 100 lbs won’t “fix” it either."
Depends on your definition of ‘fix’. Losing 100 pounds can put you in a place that you do not need the medication anymore. My daughters high school band teacher lost 116 pounds and no longer has to take insulin or any other form of drug to control his diabetes or his blood pressure or his cholesterol. He does however have to watch what he eats. He still has Type 2 diabetes but has it under control mostly from the lifestyle change and weight loss. The only exercise he has added was to take a nightly walk with his wife.
It was a hard road for him and took 2 years but, he did it. And you can too just take the hate for the disease and put it to good work.

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Hi Jeff. Welcome to the community.
I was diagnosed type 2 August of 2007. I can understand how you feel. The big “D” seem to overwhelm us at first…heck I associated D with dread, deprivation and depression at first… But it does get better.
Nope…losing 100 pounds does not cure diabetes…nor any pill so far. But we have in our hands how to manage and control it, and losing weight is one of them, just as counting carbs, exercising and proper diet. Yep…keeping a journal can be the pits! But it helps keeping tract of everything you do, eat and how it affects your blood sugar. …But it does get better.
When diagnosed I had an A1C of 9 and was on 1000 mg of metformin and 4 mg glimiperide a day…now, I’m on only 500 mg of metformin once daily. I do not have a journal anymore…but have a daily routine of physical activity and I do keep still a low carb diet. I have an A1C of 6…And I can reward myself of sweets once in a while. Things do get better.
Who ever person you are then…may still be the person you are now…in fact you can be better. Personally now, I am better aware of what I eat, I have better discipline of what I can and should do and I listen and appreciate my body better. We can do the things any non diabetic can.
Empower yourself with knowledge about our condition. We welcome you to a community of support. So rant all you want. At times, you will hear us rant us well. Remember that you are not alone! You can do this =)

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Welcome aboard. You’ve come to the right place. Don’t expect to learn everything you need to know overnight. You will make this work and have good and bad days like the rest of us.

Regarding the “aversion therapy” reaction of Alex in “A Clockwork Orange”, you have to decide whether you’re really willing to put up with the side effects on a long term basis, or perhaps you might want to consider other medications and methodologies.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions - the only foolish question is the one that remains unasked.

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Jeff, unless the person is out of the ordinary, you are experiencing some of the same feelings and thoughts that we all went through at the beginning. Some of us ignored the diagnosis for awhile, and some dove right in and felt like you do, and some were very compliant and did what they had to do.

First of all, if you haven’t I would strong recommend that you visit with a nutritionist or dietican. Most docs will recommend it and refer you, and then insurance will pay for it. They can help you with the maze of foods and what you should be eating to get the best results. If you have a Certified Diabetic Educator, I’d get myself to that person also, because they can unwind the rest of the tangled web for you.

But when it comes to doing it, YOU ARE IN CHARGE. I just got a new mini meter (I’ve been diagnosed for 10 years, compliant for 8 years) And on the box of that new meter it said, “You are the expert when it comes to your diabetes, we are just here to help you be healthy”…it was great, I needed to hear that I was in charge of me. And so are you, YOU are in charge. YOU do what you can, if the whole ball of wax is over whelming, then explain to your doc or whomever, that you want to take this one step at a time…not eating the elephant in one bite. You’ll take your meds, take your blood sugars four times a day…and start on an eating plan. YOU do what you are able to do…and not get overwhelmed by the whole thing. Talk it over with your team and see what they think. Remember you are in charge of your own health.

No one wants to be a diabetic. No one asks for it, no one walks into a store and buys a can of diabetes because it’s a good thing. We all would give anything to get out of this, but we got lucky and got it. When I think of family members that could have gotten this disease, I can’t think of anyone of them that I would wish it on, give it to if it were contagious, it takes a very strong person to put up with this, as it does any disease that is like it. You are the same person you were June 1, you have the same eyes, the same hair, the same sense of humor, the same good ness, the same bad traits. You are the same, you have an added component — you have diabetes. BUT you are in charge of it.

Stick with us, not one of us has not done something that you are doing, or thinking of doing or not doing. Take a deep breath and then decide what you can do right now, and what you need help with, and then don’t be too proud to ask for help.
Emotional support, medical support, etc., that’s what the med team is for and that’s what we are for…we’re all in this together.

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This is exactly what vie been struggling with for three years now, that’s the crazy life of a diabetic. I think it’s all about finding the balance between serenity and chaos, something that is ongoing battle for all of us

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I hate the word diet, all the word is is "die"with a t at the end, lol. I like think of it as the healthy eating I want for life, instead.

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Jeff all of your thoughts and feelings are so normal.I went through the same thing when i was newly diagnosed. It takes time to adjust to such a major lifestyle change.
Be patient and easy with yourself and take it one step at a time. It does get better.The more you accept this disease the easier it becomes to deal with…:slight_smile: