Depression and trying to get pregnant

I have been actively trying to get pregnant for 4 months, but I have been adjusting my blood sugars to get ready for almost a year and a half. I am exhausted. My hba1c is 5.6 now, but it’s taking all of my time and effort to keep it there. My relationships have become strained because of my constant anxiety over the blood sugars. My husband won’t sleep in the same room as me anymore because the dexcom beeps several times every night. I cant work without compromising the progress I’ve made, and the dexcom beeps during work too. My endochrinologist doesn’t want to deal with pregnancy. My gynecologist doesn’t want to treat someone high risk. I got a new cde, but her suggestion was to make the dexcom goals more relaxed (a ceiling of 180 instead of 140). I feel like I won’t have a 5.6 if I do that, even if i get increased quality of life. I feel completely alone and super depressed. I feel like i can snap out of it if i get pregnant, but i don’t know how long i can maintain this life without results. Has anyone else struggled with depression and isolation while trying to conceive? Is there any way out besides patience or giving up?

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Hi @BeckyZ, I’m in your boat too, although, I don’t use a dexcom. I use the Freestyle Libre, so there aren’t any alarms. I wake up 1 time throughout the night and either bolus or go right back to sleep. Be a little easier on yourself, an HBA1C of 5.6 is amazing, but you shouldn’t have to give up a good quality of life in order to achieve it. I would follow the recommendation for 180 (at least over night, change it back to 140 during the day).

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From what my Endo told me anything below 6.0 is good. Also any A1C below 5.5 can cause its own problems.

I waited a long time to get pregnant after being diagnosed at age 26 with type 1. It wasn’t because I couldn’t get pregnant. I mostly was scared and wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing before I tried anything like that. I finally got pregnant at 32.

You are doing a wonderful thing by maintaining such great control of your blood sugar right now. It means your baby will have the healthiest start from day one. Try not to be discouraged. It can take time to conceive. Four months isn’t that long.

In the meantime, you are reaping the fabulous benefit of having such great blood sugar control…a healthy YOU!

Also, ignore the nay sayers of the medical community. You are going to need a high risk OB/gyn anyway. That’s their job, to take on people like you and me.

Again, try not to get discouraged. I think I have heard that you are supposed to give it a year. I say forget about it for now and that will make it happened even faster.

Best of luck.

Hi guys. Thanks for your amazing responses. It’s not really waiting to get pregnant that’s depressing me ( the cynic on me always thought it would take a while). It’s the stress of keeping constant watch of my blood sugars that’s weighing me down, and then that stress makes the blood sugars worse which increases the stress. I feel terrible both mentally and physically despite hoping increased glucose management plus a better diet and tons of exercise would be a panacea for all my ailments. I feel consumed by the desire to get things sorted and keep them sorted and I don’t know how sustainable my current lifestyle is, which obviously increases my fears for a 9 month pregnancy. I feel like I’m driving myself crazy, but have no idea how to get off the crazy train without derailing all the months of hard work.

Are you also eating low carb? I personally found that controlling blood sugar on low carb diet was easier than doing it with high levels of carbs. Sugar surfing techniques helped too.

I don’t eat that many carbs, except for fruit, which I eat way too much of, but I love it. My problems aren’t really centered around meal times though. Some days I’m just running high all day despite multiple correction doses and waiting longer to eat after taking insulin, and some days it’s the opposite and I’m low all day. I think the days I take the most insulin are the days I eat the least carbs because I’m just bolusing and then waiting for the dip in the cgm… and waiting…and waiting. Until I finally just eat some cheese and an egg instead of fruit and nuts, for example. And still the blood sugar runs high. Whereas on the low days I’m popping grapes every hour as the cgm bumps up 25 points before dropping again. I keep trying to find a pattern why some days are high and some low (and the rarest of the all, a day when everything is smooth sailing), but so far I am mystified. My working theory is stress, but I don’t know why some days are so much worse than others when physically they’re similar. Only the state of mind can be responsible, but I don’t think that’s controllable.