Diabetics that make the rest of us look bad

Type 1 and LADA
1

You know, we all get those moments.

Those days where your blood sugars suck or your just tired of stabbing your fingers and your stuck feeling sorry for yourself because of this thing. I know this because I get those days, where I feel like "I'm only as good as my blood sugar."

Yet, my little brother has had it much longer then I have (diagnosed around 7 or 8, now 15) and doesn't think anything about it. Secretly, I use him as inspiration. I want to be just like him and not care anything about it because it's just part of who I am, so there's no point in limiting myself or feeling down about it. He's a good role model for me, and I know that I'm a good role model for others because of him..

But what about a bad role model? The ones that are seemingly always making people feel sorry for them, using their diabetes as a reason to be rude and get what they want from people.

Well, I met one in high school. She would be so rude to someone, then when the person was rude back she screamed "Well, I hope you know I have DIABETES!" or would pretend to feel low to get free food and other ugly actions that made the people around her treat other children with diabetes like glass dolls.

When I went on the senior trip, they put her and I in a room together because one of us would know what to do if the other one was either low or high. Of course, she's also ignorant of her own disease and claims silly things like "it's not genetics!" or something like that. So luckily my friend (that I had taught about diabetic emergencies for my own sake) and I, at least, knew what to do if anything was to happen.

It was a 3 day trip and she managed to disgust and insult me more then I've ever been as a Type 1 Diabetic and person who has it riddled throughout her family. Ever.

One morning, I got up and said something about eating too late. Then the girl said something about needing to eat right that instant. I said, "Is your blood sugar low? Because I have snacks and stuff for emergencies."

"No."

"Well then you have no reason to throw a fit"

"Pff. You wouldn't understand"

My friend looks at me and we both laugh. "I'm Diabetic too, I understand very well."

"No. You don't understand, I have full-on diabetes."

"What?" My friend laughs, "That doesn't even make sense, she does too."

But she had already walked out of the room. Leaving me feeling a little peeved.

Later on in the day, we had all met up as a group far away from the hotel. It was time to be at the hotel, so we waited for a bus. When none came we had to run across town to get back to the hotel before it was too late and we were left there. Running, I turned around to see the girl not even speed walking. We called out for her and waited, but she glared and whipped out her cellphone to call someone. Her friends ran to her and tried to coax her to hurry, yet it fell on deaf ears.

Not willing to be left, I angrily ran to the hotel only to notice a few of the teachers going to opposite way. I didn't pay much attention to them, though I knew they were going to get the girl.

A few minutes later, I was sprinting to the charter bus so I wouldn't be late and had one of the teachers stop my group to talk to us.

"You know, you left Christina. She was crying saying that no one had stopped for her and that she was all alone."

One of my group members spoke up. "That's bull! We did all we could to get her to come with us!"

The teacher shoke her head. "Well, She has diabetes."

It was my turn to speak up. "So? I have it and I kept up with the group just fine. Diabetes does not effect your people skills."

Huffing, the teacher frowned and motioned us to get on the bus.

I don't understand, this whole "feel sorry for me" stuff and how anybody like that can be happy with who they are. It's people like her that make people believe I'm fragile and weak because of it. If anything, I think it's made me a better person where it counts, you know?

Anyways..

Has anyone dealt with someone like this?

How did you feel or react?

What's the best plan of action when seeing a bad role model?

Please, add anything else in between. :D

2

I’ve met diabetics who were stupid, ignorant, or doing their very best to kill themselves with painful slowness many times. In spite of that, they like me were diabetics too. I have their backs. Complete strangers, lifelong friends, mortal enemies, I have their backs, and I hope they have mine.

I don’t have to like them, just help them if/when they get into trouble, and I am able to help. Until then, they can be morons, rude, jerks, or anything else. If they are low, or high then I am there. That is part of “the diabetic code” which I live by…

If they choose to drink, or act stupidly, rudely that kind of behavior is on them. Sounds to me like you handled it exactly like an adult. Was she in trouble or not?

Stuart

3

There’s a girl at my school that pretty much does the exact same thing… gets into lunch early with the low card, and pulls every trick in the bag. The ENTIRE schools knows she’s diabetic, and there’s always someone talking about how bad it must be to have diabetes with her.

I’m not that kind of person. I honestly don’t find diabetes all that bad. Sure, it can be annoying at times, but it’s no reason to bother everyone with it and try to grab attention. I honestly HATE when people feel bad about me having diabetes. That’s why i don’t tell many people. My close friends know, and that’s all.

Just do your best to try and get along with people like that. They’re all in the world. People will find a way to make the world feel bad about them over an ant bite. Just try to ignore it and be friends with them. (or at least not enemies)

4

She sounds like someone who is very dramatic. She has probably been coddled by family and friends since her diagnosis. Unfortunately, for as much of a “pain” she is to have around you and for you to watch as she uses her diabetes for attention and special privledges, you are in a much better place with your disease than she is, you seem to have taken “ownership” of your diabetes, she is utimately the loser here as she is setting herself up for loneliness, lack of independence, lack of any type of “normal” living, etc…

5

Honey, she is a “drama queen”: Love her from a distance. Be there to help her if she really needs your help ( needs glucose Tabs/ treatment for a low, is going into DKA). Do not coddle her…That is enabling and will only lead her, as Jest said above, into being a whiny adult that no one can tolerate.
You do not have to prove to anyone that diabetes is not what defines you: The more adult and independent you are as a type One will lead other people to see you for the mature young lady you are.

God Bless,
Brunetta

6

My first thought: Take away her diabetes, and now she’s obnoxious and spoiled because her parents don’t love her, or because she had some trauma when she was young, or because her nail polish color isn’t right. Diabetes provides an awesome center point for her particular drama, but I assure you that without it, she’d find another avenue to create excitement and attention. To answer your questions specifically:

  1. I have not met anyone like this, at least not in regard to D.
  2. I’m pretty much ready to strangle her myself.
  3. I would stay as far away from that poison as possible. In the future, object to being assigned her buddy, and object IN ADVANCE. Your teachers will be annoyed if you’re boarding the bus and then you say “But I don’t want to be stuck with her.” If you talk to your advisor in advance and let her know the difficultly, then you’re more likely not to be assigned to her. She has friends of her own, I am sure, and well, if she doesn’t, that’s still not your problem.
  4. My daughter is much younger than you, and we have one D friend. She does not manage her D as well my daughter, and she borders on spoiled and annoying about the whole thing. Before we see this family, I always remind my daugher, “X doesn’t take care of herself as well as you do. Be a role model for her, and do not let her be a role model for you.” Sounds like you’re in no danger there, but that’s my last piece of advice to you.

So sorry she made your trip stinky.

7

I know a few people like that too. In high school, there was a girl who had it since she was around 9 years old. She would sit out during gym classes, complain of phantom stomach aches that occured when she mostly didnt want to participate in something, etc. Every time I went to the nurse’s office to test my BG (which I was taught to go to nurse’s office every day before lunch period) she would be there, lying down on the cot. She would carry an entire convenience store with her at all times, claiming that she needed it. Yet, her BG was always high. Sometimes I caught her injecting even when she was already in “normal” range, even tho she wasn’t going to eat anything- forcing herself to go LOW to get attention.

You can tell when someone is really scared, versus someone who just wants people to feel sorry for her.

I never told anyone I even HAD diabetes in high school (aside from the teachers and close friends) because I wanted to be strong. I had a few lows during class, and I would excuse myself to go to the nurse’s office to eat something. But I wouldn’t call my mom to pick me up. I’d just wait the 15 mins or so for it to come back up, and then I’d go back to class. No biggie.

Just like those diabetics who don’t teach themselves about their disease, and then are surprised when bad things happen to them. No one, in my opinion, should rely on doctor’s orders. We should take responsiblity for our own bodies and learn how each of us functions and reacts. There is no golden rule, so how would a doctor possibly know what kinds of therapy are going to work on us as indiviuals when every single body is different?

When it comes to people like this, I just try to educate them. I don’t coddle them the way they might want to be coddled, but I will try to show them that diabetes should not be something to be feared. It should not be something that holds us back. It can be used as a tool to show how much more brave we are then the general public, if they so wish to stand out amongst strangers.

We all know these types of people, and we are struggling to show everyone else around that “she” is not the way diabetics are supposed to be. We are capable of being strong, determined, and just as powerful as anyone else.

8

Some people need psychiatric help whether or not they have diabetes. Continuing counseling. Anger in a diabetic is understandable. A person with anger needs help.
Yes I’ve dealt with this kind of person a lot. I take pity on them. It used to be, when we didn’t have meters to test and when we didn’t have insulins that could be used as really short acting and when we looked around and everyone who was older and had diabetes also had complications, that I would think they had reason to be this angry.
Then we got test strips, knowledge about ability to reduce/eliminate complications.
Intervention techniques used by a good group of family might be tried. In which the person is confronted by the (only) friends/family she has and learns from them that certain behavior is acceptable and certain behaviors are not acceptable. Then continues with a team of professionals over time to learn anger management and control of diabetes. One professional is not enough. One friend is not enough. :slight_smile:

9

I have the same opinion as Carb101. Take away the diabetes and she would use something else to create drama and get attention. She’s got deeper problems than diabetes.

  1. I haven’t known any diabetics who act that way, but I’ve certainly known people who act that way.

  2. My reaction used to be to try to put them in their place - but that’s fruitless because they’re better at the game than I am. Besides, it feeds the drama. Now I just don’t play. Avoid her.

  3. The best plan of action when seeing a bad role model is to be a good role model. Which you seem to be doing.

I think you handled things quite well with the teacher by informing her that you’re also diabetic and managed to keep up. Just keep being a good role model and don’t get into any contests with you-know-who. If you think her condition has really spread a lot of disinformation among the teachers or students maybe you could offer to set up a diabetes education presentation - one that you could do yourself or that you could organize and bring in outside help. (Again - avoid using this to get into any contests with you-know-who.) There might even be some extra credit in it for you!!

Good luck,

Terry

10

You mean I shouldn’t be critized for having diabetes and working it like a cotton gin? That girl knows that no one understands the disease so she can say whatever she wants. People treat her like she’s breakable because she puts the story on the front page. Princess is giving us a bad name. Have you ever heard of anyone coming down with a 24-hour diabetes? “I won’t be coming into work today, I’ve got a slight diabetes.” I’m not sure that there’s anything you can do with her. Besides calling her on it in public and educating folks about what’s what, it may take away some of that really annoying manipulation. She’s quite used to using manipulation for sympathy and to get out of stuff. She’s not going to put down that tool without a fight. She also sounds like she’s dumb as a box of hair and rather mean-spirited. She had time to take out her phone and call someone, she had plenty of time to haul A$$ and keep up. I’m not very patient with that kind of thing. I would have read her on it. If you are interacting with a drama queen, cut 'em down to size. When they start spinning the bull, tell them to catch up. You don’t have to let someone make others feel like because of your diabetes you will shatter if someone uses stern language. You of all people have the right to compare and contrast and to dispell whatever over-the-top weakness this kid or anyone of this ilk displays. If you’re not dealing directly with the bad apple, it’s best to let it go. A weekend of that stuff would have made me a shrieking harpy. I bet you guys weren’t bestest best friends forever after that.

11

I think what you said to everyone was perfect. I didn’t know any other diabetics in high school, so I can’t really symmpathize. I would be very frustrated, because people like that make others think we are not capable of holding down a job, and people like her are why some people don’t want to hire diabetics.

Sympathy is addictive. Depression is addictive II noticed when my mother died, I was so depressed, for about 6 months, I would go to bed Friday night and stay in bed until Monday morning, shower, and go to work. My meals were really simple, and I lost a lot of weight, because I couldn’t eat a lot of things. Someitmes I wouldn’t eat all Saturday or Sunday. I was busy crying. I lived alone, so it is easy to get away with that. That is normal (well, not too abnormal - I didn’t need medication or anything) for a while, but it became addictive. When I would break down and cry because it was 4th of july, and that was her favorite holiday, or I would think “I should ask my mother that”, I would get a ton of sympathy. I realized about 8 months after mom died, I was addicted to being depressed, and to everyone feelign sorry for me. Pathetic, but I snapped out of it once I reaized it was an issue.

I would say she is cranky because she is probably high all of the time, or possibly jumping between highs and lows. I am cranky if I am high or low, so if I burst out with a cranky episode, I check the bg immediately. = ) If you encounter her, or someone like her again, you could let her know if she is having trouble or has questiions, you will do the best you can to answer them.

12

My sister has that same behavior but has MS instead of Diabetes. It’s the personality, not the disease. And I agree, do everything you can not to get paired with her. You have your head on straight and are doing great!

13

What a wonderful code, Stuart. :smiley:

And thank you.

No, I don’t think she was in trouble, but I suppose it’s none of my business anyways to see that she gets in trouble or not. Plus, I’ve graduated since then and don’t have to see her every day. xD

14

I hate it when people feel sorry for me too, but I understand why they feel that way, It’s easy to feel sorry for someone when they’re inflicted with something you don’t have or know nothing about, I suppose, regardless of how bad it really is. And sometimes, feeling sorry for someone can lead to good things like compassion and understanding…

But I’m getting off track.

The only thing is, I have this nagging need to correct them or something. So if I ignore it, I feel like they’re walking all over me.

15

great story…thank you for sharing!

i’m left with a feeling like: “my diabetes is worse than yours” like that girl thinks its a competition. and i do think people measure us in this way. i often recieve odd competitive comments from ignorant people regarding my diabetes. she sounds mentally ill…she needs help. but that is definitely not your responsibility. good luck!

16

Same. I’d rather them say that they’re sorry, and not tell me what to do. I suppose i’ll just learn to deal with it though.

Won’t ever change it being annoying though. My friend’s whole family is diabetic, except for my friend’s mom, so she’s always telling me what to do, when to check, blah blah. :confused: