When I was diagnosed, some of my older type 1 diabetic friends (upper 30’s) told me that they had gone through a real rebellious stage when they were diagnosed. They would have been around 16 or 17, which makes sense. I listened to them, and told myself “well, I may experience denial, sadness and anger, but I certainly will never experience obstinate behavior or rebellion when it comes to my meds”. However, one month into my new life as a diabetic, I find myself pushing the envelope. I went on a trip to San Francisco, where I lived up until 7 months ago. Visiting my friends, being independent again, I have found myself struggling to keep the routine I had mastered while in Seattle with my family. I am forgetting to bring my insulin with me when I go out, and just choosing not to take it all together. In the back of my mind, the rational part of me is saying “you dummy, WHY are you doing this?!” but the other part of me just says “oh, what’s a few days of high blood sugar?” I have been running between 200-300 for 3 or 4 days now and I know I need to stop. I am mad at myself, but having a hard time pushing myself to make a change. Part of it is the disappointing appointment that I finally had with an endocrinologist. They really didn’t help me, and practically told me to stop taking insulin to see what happens. Without insurance, I am finding it is difficult to get the support I need in this as I learn the ropes. Grr.
OH sweetie, Please take the time to stop and Think first of yourself and your Diabetes. I know some Dr as adults can be mean/harsh and still mean what they saw. You do know what I mean…in that cross way of saying, go ahead and stop taking your Insulin…they do know what can happen to you. I think he took the Tough Love way…
Sweetie, don’t try to find things out the hard way, it is important that you take you insulin, and that in its self will make you better. Bad things can happen to us Type 1’s when we ignore out bodys. I know having fun is important to you, but you are living on a fine line, and sweetie we don’t want you to harm yourself. Your BS could climb so high and cause you to go into a coma. You don’t want to damage your kidneys either. We are delicate when it comes to our Organs, so Please take care of your self…
I tired that I don’t care, no one else does, and I landed at age 20 in the hospital, I blew up and my kidneys were struggling. It just is not worth it, I promise you that.
So big ole Hugs, and you know you can still have fun AND take care of your Diabetes:) Debbie
You’re in charge and no one can make you follow any medical regiment that you don’t want to follow, BUT…you know what you should be doing to take care of yourself and it is up to you to step up and get it done. If you need help we’re all here to lend a hand, but you need to put away the excuses and be responsible…you can do it!
Oh to be young again, & such a newbie diabetic! Oh, but I do remember it, quite clearly even though it’s been 16 years. I know the feeling where you feel like you’re the only diabetic & you try to make your friends and family understand your new disease, but they just don’t “get it.” I’m not sure if even now my friends or family now truly understand it except for those that share the same T1 D as me.
So, I know what it’s like to just get back with your old crowd of friends & act like nothing’s really happened. It’s not like they’re gonna notice that you forgot to check your sugar, or failed to give your insulin. Hey, they’re not gonna be the one running to the bathroom at 3 in the morning because their sugar skyrocketed to the 400’s. It doesn’t matter though, because it’s not like you’re gonna say anything anyways, we’re having fun now, aren’t we? Oh to have fun & not care, it’s nice… for the moment. Other than feeling like crap & being quite moody (going from 400 to 40 in a day can be a &%#$!), you really don’t see the long-term effects for years (those nasty ones the doctors always nag you about).
Then comes the MD’s/Endo’s, they’re always naggin’ about something. Whether it’s your unrelenting elevated A1C or your wacky blood sugars. Man, when can I finally do SOMETHING right? No wonder why many of us cancel appointments or procrastinate logging our sugars in those silly books. It’s not like I’m going to be congratulated on “keeping up such great work.” It’s more like, “I see your sugars are everywhere,” or “Are you eating & not bolusing?” Hmmm, I don’t know… maybe it’s my D?
Sorry, my point is that we need to learn to create a partnership with our Endo’s & our D. I’ll keep a good log for 3 days out of the week & you try to understand that this is hard (& new) to me (so be helpful & nice, please!) Also, look into diabetic camps in your area for the summer. I find diabetic camps priceless. I went to one within the first 3 months I was diagnosed & I’ve been going ever since. There are so many friends you will make & find people who truly “get it.” Not only do they get it, but they’ve been down your road before. So keep an open mind & make friends with your D, it’s gonna be your best friend whether you like it or not. 
Well hey everyone, thanks a lot for the support, as always. I know that there are so many people around me who are going through the same trials and tribulations/trials and errors as I am on a day to day basis. It really does make a difference knowing I am not alone. Luckily for me, I really do have supportive friends and family, and it is actually difficult for me to get away with not taking my insulin, without someone questioning me. At the same time, if I wanted to, it is just as easy for me to lie and say I did. However, for the last 2 days, I have more or less regulated my blood sugar and gotten it under control, including taking my night time dose of Lantus (which I avoided 2 days in a row), as well as pre meal insulin.
I completely recognize the value in not letting m blood sugars run high, in the long run, and it scares me enough that even though I may have stints here and there, I will keep it in check. Lord knows I don’t want to end up blind or with kidney failure at age 30, when I am only 25!
I don’t want to make excuses or put the blame on anyone else but myself, I know that this is 100% my trip!