Feeling like a failure

Type 1 and LADA New to Type 1 Diabetes
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I’m feeling really depressed right now. I’ve been doing the testing after meals, portion control and exercise. I’ve lost 14 lbs. so far without actually being on a ‘diet’ or counting calories (I’ve done those things in the past and always ended up giving up because it was too much work without great results). Most of my 2-hour blood sugars have been under 120, and when I test around 4 hours after eating, they usually range from the low 100s to the mid 80s.

All that seems not so bad, right? But I am still getting bad blood sugars in the morning. I wake up with a sense of dread, and then I see numbers like 110, 118, even 124 and just feel doomed.

I keep trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong: eating before bed, not eating before bed, timing of meals or drugs? Last night I deliberately didn’t eat anything after 7:30 pm, checked before bed (around 1 am) and was at 87. Sounds great, right? WRONG: I zoomed up to 117 by 9 am the next morning.

Yes, I have heard about the dawn phenomenon, but all I keep thinking is: What is wrong with me? WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?

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Those sound like fabulous #'s to me…what am I missing?

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Sophie, stop that kind of thinking right now! You are doing great. You’re better than great, you’re doing beautifully! Losing 14 lbs, exercising, post meals under 120 & 80’s-100’s is fantastic. Give yourself a big hug & don’t beat yourself.

I have dawn phenonmenon & can relate. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just what happens. I dread every morning reading, too. Am jumping for joy when mine is under 100 & want to cry when it’s over 100.

Not eating 4-5 hours before bed helps me. Not eating anything with a lot of fat for dinner also helps because protein & fat digest slowly. The best thing for dawn phenomenon is being on basal insulin (Lantus or Levemir). And, taking basal RIGHT before bed. I don’t care what the doctors say from reading the drug literature, basal does NOT last 24 hours for most people.

Once you’re on basal insulin, your morning reading will be better.

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I still don’t get it. What’s tear evoking about a fasting # over 100? Over 140, OK, but 110 is nothing to cry about, is it?

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okay…i read this, and wonder where you are getting your information from.

124 is NOT HIGH!!

and going from 87 to 117 is NOT zoomed up! 87 to 317 is zoomed up. I think you need to read “Living like a Pancreas” to better understand numbers and what they mean. I"m not trying to be mean or anything, but whoever told you those numbers was high, …

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Sophie, I would repeat what others have written. These numbers are not bad at all. In fact, they are GREAT!

If you are a failure, then I am a catastrophic failure!! I practically dance in the morning if I wake up between 100 and 120.

I realize that we have different types of diabetes and that this is all relative. But when you start stressing about waking up at 120, remember that there are some of us that can sore above 300 after meals if we don’t give the right amount of insulin. We are still here and doing fine :slight_smile: [Disclaimer: I’m not saying that going above 300 is OK, I just think that panicking about a 124 is stress that you don’t need!!!]

Also, some type 2’s have found that if they have a small snack before bed (like half a green apple), then there morning numbers are actually better. Maybe you should try that!

Otherwise, keep up the good work! And smile when you see those numbers on your meter!

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Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the supportive comments. It helps to feel less alone in all this.

About where I am getting the numbers … I have copies of all my blood work from the past few years, and for fasting glucose it says 70-100 is ‘normal.’ My numbers have consistently been higher than that. I thought that was just part of having PCOS (a metabolic disorder), and my regular doc and my endo didn’t make that big a deal of it, but the last time I had it checked it was super high–126–which is considered diabetic. I was hoping that if I worked really hard, I could reverse that, but now I’m worried it’s too late.

The other blood sugar info I have gotten is from a blog recommended by Jenny called BloodSugar 101. There is some pretty scary stuff on that site about damage that high blood sugar can do to your body, even when it’s not all that high.

I have been taking Metformin for several years for PCOS and have added Byetta since my last endo appointment. Gerri, you mentioned insulin, but I don’t know if that would be appropriate for me to take? My dr. did not suggest it. Also, I have read that insulin can cause weight gain … seems like I have too much of it, not too little. Although I think I read somewhere about a theory that going on it for a while can ‘reset’ your body’s insulin resistance … I don’t remember exactly where I read that, though, or if it has been proven.

Landileigh, is “Living like a Pancreas” part of this blog or some other site? I would like to read it.

I guess I need to keep experimenting with the snack/no snack thing … I tried a slice of multigrain toast with peanut butter one time, thinking the complex carbs/protein mix would prevent spiking, but that didn’t seem to help, either. On the other hand, once I ate a couple of small squares of dark chocolate before bed and worried that would spike me, but the next morning I was at 96.

Sometimes it seems just random, and that is what really scares me … like no matter what I do, my body is just determined to sabotage me.

Has anyone else felt this way? Does anything help?

Well, maybe venting can … thanks again for listening.

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Sophie,

We’re here for you.

Normal fasting glucose is between 70-100. I’m Type 1. Endos set different goals for people & my fasting goal is below 100. I’ve had fasting over 200 & gone to bed at 90 & below. My goal is be as close to normal as possible, given the many things I can’t control. I feel as you do a lot of the time. For lunch today I ate the exact same thing I did yesterday, with the same dose of insulin. Yesterday, I spiked high two hours later. Today, I went low & felt awful. Go figure!

If you can control your BG with exercise, meds & diet–that’s perfect! And, you seem to be doing that beautifully. Keep up the awesome work! When people have bad dawn phenonmenon (& yours is mild), basal insulin before bed helps keep it in control. For the numbers you have now, you don’t need insulin. But if they start going really high, talk to your doctor about this. Some Type 2s need the help of insulin in small doses. Given the side effects people appear to have with oral meds insulin sure seems safer.

Insulin is a hormone that stores fat–yep. Lots of people on insulin aren’t overweight if they’re careful about their diet & not overdoing carbs. Lots of carbs=needing lots of insulin.

Insulin does protect your remaining beta cells.

For before bedtime snacks, no carbs like bread. Complex carbs, no complex carbs it turns to glucose. Complex ones are just a bit slower. Protein & fat slow down carb digestion too, but it hits your blood as glucose sooner or later. Would be interesting to add up the carbs in your peanut butter/toast & dark chocolate to see which had more carbs.

Eat something like a small piece of cheese or some nuts or peanut butter without toast. They digest slowly & keep things more level. I tried the green apple suggestion Kristin mentioned, but it didn’t help me. Everyone is different. I also tried red wine, apple cider vinegar & they didn’t work for me. Protein seems to be the thing that works best in my case.

Keep us posted.

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Sophie:

You’re right in one thing. Sometimes I feel that my body is out to sabotage me!!

Your waking numbers are great! So don’t stress.

I’ve found that I cannot go to bed when I am right around 100 or below. I must have a snack to avoid a low in the a.m. I also am prone to the morning phenomenom. When you are sleeping your liver produces additional glucose and pumps it into your system. That’s what we call the morning phenomenom. But if I go to sleep low, then I usually wake up low. Go to sleep elevated, you can bet your booty that I’ll wake high…not just in the 100’s.

Keep up the good control and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Lois La Rose
Milwaukee, WI

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Vent away, Sophie, but I think your numbers are beautiful! As long as you’re staying under 140, watching your diet, and trying to be healthy, you are doing fabulously. Don’t get so caught up in the trees that you miss the forest. :slight_smile: You’re doing a really good job. I’ve been working for almost 20 years to have the kind of numbers you’re seeing. :slight_smile:

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Sophie:

Like everyone else has said those numbers are very good. Please do not stress so much about them. Here however is an idea for something to try. Move your exercise earlier or later in the evening. My guess is earlier will have a good effect. Sometimes exercise has a tendency to lower my BS then send it up a bit. I think it is a known issue for some diabetics. Again down during and immediately after exercise with a slight bounce up over the long haul. In essence your body may be releasing some of the nutrition as you exercise.

Rick Phillips

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it’s a book you can get here:
http://www.amazon.com/Think-Like-Pancreas-Practical-Managing/dp/1569244367/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233040011&sr=8-1

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Yes, I also recommend the same book. If you order it through this link (which is powered by Amazon), a part of your purchase supports the Diabetes Hands Foundation, which runs TuDiabetes.

http://bestdiabetesbooks.com/

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Morning ‘bumps’ in the road aren’t that unusual. You’re doing nothing wrong. It’s just stored glycogen being converted into glucose in anticipation of the day’s ‘hunt’, so to speak…perfectly normal. Your numbers are great. As long as you keep moving in the right direction, you’ll do just fine. You’re no different than the rest of us. This is not an easy process, but it’s entirely do-able. Particularly in light of what can happen if it’s ignored. As long as you don’t soar up to over 140 and sustain it, you’ll be just fine. I promise.

I’ve taken it a step further, I’ve made it my life’s goal to control with diet and exercise for the duration. I study this stuff almost every day. In fact, I use the Yahoo! Answers forum to answer questions while learning all I can about diabetes nearly every day. Check me out: Yahoo! Answers top contributor list.

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Thanks for responding … after having a run of bad morning readings, I then had two that were 93 and 97, but now they are creeping up again, back to 110 this morning. (And I ate very little yesterday). Oddly enough, when I check my food diary on the days before I had normal readings, they were NOT the days when I ate the least … I even ate so-called ‘bad’ foods like a donut and a brownie on those days. It’s really counter-intuitive! But if this is a normal process, why are those numbers flagged as high on lab test results?

I also have a question about exercise. I know it’s recommended to lower blood sugar, and I’ve been doing it, but the other day, I checked my blood sugar before going to Curves and it was around 95, and then I checked it after working out and it had gone way up to 122. Is that normal? Or, if it’s dangerous, is there a way to prevent it? Obviously I don’t want to stop exercising. Did I work too hard? I didn’t think so.

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Your blood sugars are fine

target range is 100-140

There’s nothing wrong with your sugars. When you start seeing 180’s and above that is when you should be alarmed.

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Hi Sophie. Oh my gosh, 110-118-124 many of us would kill for those numbers. Zooming up is the 62 I had this morning…along with a migraine to the 264 I just had to bolus for 2 1/2 hours afterwards. Not a good star to my day. :frowning:

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You’re telling me, Amy. I have pretty good control and still went up to 321 last night after dinner out with friends to wake up at 65 this morning.

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Hi Melissa. Don’t you just hate that! I shoot up so often for no good reason. Sophie’s 2 hour blood sugars…I usually test after 3 hours and I would be thrilled for her numbers!

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Hi…
First of all I don’t think you are doing anything wrong. There are those of us who the scientists call “non-dippers”

You don’t say how long you have been diagnosed but from your weight loss I assume it’s only been a few weeks or months. I’ve never been “officially” diagnosed but only found out I had a problem when my brother tested me with his meter just before Christmas. So my holiday suddently took on a bizzare aspect. I got my own meter and started testing regularly. At first I had high numbers, I mean 200’s consistantly. I started eating veggies like crazy, dropped drinking cola, no sugar in my coffee… but my numbers in the morning was still in the 180 range dispite seeing 140s at night. I remember crying and saying “I’m gonna die!” Now keep in mind I have no insurance, I buy my own strips or fanagle ways to get them for free. I have no help by Drs, I only have my own brain and will to beat this. (after all physicians are not gods) And I have a house full of cheap food filled with simple carbs and sugar that are suddenly off limits.

Last summer before all this diabetes stuff, I had stumbled upon something called the Glycemic index. I knew from previous research that not all carbs are created equally. So I tried to conciously choose Low GI foods. Now it took 6 weeks for me to lose 20lbs and during that time I was excited to see the numbers slowly and consistantly come down. But… I still have higher numbers in the morning.

Now, luckily my college biology class was taught by a geneticist and he was very into teaching us all about organ function. (as much as I struggled with this class… I’m now glad i tried for that A)

*** The following is my own theory*** (I am not a medical professional…but the following is based on my observations of my own numbers and body)

Ok… so we know that eating carbs gives us fuel for our cells in the form of glucose. But what we don’t think about is how the body continues to function when food is scarce. Think about this… science tells us that during the fasting times… our liver creates glucose from stored fat in the liver (sometimes from fat stores in the body) and releases it into the blood stream to provide enough energy for bodily functions. Keep in mind you had been “functioning” on simple sugars and probably simple carbs the body is shocked… “What the heck… you used to feed me right before bed with something filled with sugary goodness and I used what I needed and stored the rest away as fat!” Besides all this… we have these cells that are insulin snobs and only want to use the “Paris Hilton brand” of insulin. So besides proper eating how can we make our snobby cells want to use the insuline we have? Easy… we add a little bling… in the form of Cinnamon. Cinnamon has an uncanny ability to help the cells accept the insulin we do make.

I also know that emotional stress makes my blood sugar go up. But how can that be? Well the pituitary gland reacts when we are stressed and sends the body “flight or fight signals” And in order to fight… we need energy… the liver shoots more glucose into the bloodstream, but because we are not fighting for our lives we don’t use the energy and the glucose sits in our bloodstream. Great… so now what??

Basically you need to chill out… eat proper portions, use cinnamon and stop stressing yourself out. Personally I would love to have your numbers in the morning. Good luck.

Sylvia