I’ve had an undiagnosed/helped physical condition that has turned into mental/overall conditions either directly relating to physical or separate, like a severe change in overall self. will explain physical issues first…For a year, have had 24/7 CHRONIC 20 OUT OF 10 bilateral leg pain of all kinds- burning, shooting, stabbing, pricking, sort of cramping-all this for about 6 months, but what has remained and is CONSTANT immediately upon standing, pain from hips down, to the touch too, also extreme aching/soreness, stiffness/tightness, heaviness/fatigue (as if you’ve been standing in one spot all day/ran a marathon as well as 24/7 twitching and bubbling-like feeling from hips down, ALL over legs, that seems to be exasperated by just standing, walking a bit or stretching in bed. Also have such pressure pain/ache/squeezing/flexed heaviness that when I lift leg to get off it for a sec, I can feel the blood and pressure dispersing again in feet. This last part seems like it is just what the act/pressure/weight of standing should be like? Twitch is least of the issues but is also very maddening. with all this, I’m in CONSTANT pain and maddening discomfort…Mentally/overall it seems I’ve become Catatonic? Disassociateve? like a 24/7 state of trauma/shock? Not sure what I can/can’t do even min-min. not SURE of what is exactly happening/how to explain it, could be all these things listed.I CAN’T TAKE it.
there’s been NO DIAGNOSIS of any kind for ANY OF IT becuase the few tests they did for the physical problems were negative. Have seen multiple Dr’s/specialists that don’t know and push you away and don’t know what to do…I’ve said to them I don’t even want to wake up anymore…and they look at you and say “I don’t know what to say” or I don’tknow and walk away…Being in this constant torturous state and AWARE of it, b/c you’re not ‘dead’ causes extreme terror and sadness that I’ll always be like this…I wake screaming and moaning in terror and anguish. All I can do is lay down. And if I do something like go in the car or eat at table, I ‘look’ fine, but I can’t get back all this time