Helping a friend get motivated


#1

I have a dear friend who was diagnosed with Type 2 last year. I am afraid this person is in denial about his condition, and my husband and I both have told him that it worries us very much. He doesn’t watch his diet, doesn’t test or take his medication. I have a hard time trying to be a friend and encourage him, but I think I just come off sounding like a bossy busy body.
Any suggestions on how to broach the subject would be welcome.


#2

You think he’d be willing to join the site? Why don’t you tell him?

Sometimes, when people hear from someone close “the same story” over and over, it may turn into something similar to your parents telling you “See? I told you!” :slight_smile:

Don’t know… just an idea.


#3

It couldn’t hurt. :slight_smile:
I feel badly because I feel like a broken record, I even save past copies of Diabetes Forecast magazine ,and he never takes them.
I am determined to get to him! lol


#4

I’m with Manny; have him check out the site. I think newly diagnosed Ds – especially as adults – go through a process similar to grieving: anger, denial, etc… With some, the more we try to help, the more they retreat. I would let him know you’re there and supportive. At some point, he’ll come around, and when he does, you’ll be waiting with your copies of Diabetes Forecast!


#5

Hi Lea:

I read your post this morning before I left for church. Through out today I thought about your friend and this situation. Your friend’s actions remind me of myself. For many years I neglected my health. My wife was very patient with me and did not push or pressure me, but she was always there for me. My world came to an abrupt halt in 5/2006. This was when I learned that I had diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. If my wife had pushed or pressured me, it would have probably resulted in ill feelings, etc. toward each other.

Some people, like me, have to hit the bottom sometimes before they are willing to help themselves. Your friend probably fits in that category. Hopefully it won’t be too late for him, or he will not have done permanent damage to his eyes, kindeys, etc. I think it would be best that you not push him, but be there when he needs you. He is already aware of your concerns. Further action on your part may alienate him and harm your friendship. I was once told: “We can’t fix people.” I beleive that is true. People must be willing to help themselves. Take care.


#6

Tavis,
Thank you for you insight on this. I am a “fixer” to the core, but you are right - you can’t fix people. I hope he will have his wake up moment soon. When he does I will be here.


#7

Well, what can I say. Either you control diabetes or it controls you. Complilcations will come sooner and who wants that, i.e. Kidney Failure, Heat Attack and Strokes, Blindness, Amputation. It is his choice and only he/she will have to pay the consequences.


#8

Sounds like your friend is in total denial…I would certainly encourage him to join this group! Good luck!