"He's Yours for a Reason"

Originally posted at DSMA as a guest post.

After a particularly emotional D morning, on the tail of a few days dotted with extra irritating D episodes, Caleb’s school nurse, Mrs. M, emailed me some encouraging words ending with this statement:

“He’s yours for a reason.”

I’m not sure why, but those words hit me and I put my head in my hands and wept.

People have said similar things to me many times since Caleb was diagnosed. “Thank goodness he has you.” “You are so on top of everything.” “He is so lucky to have you as his mom.”

I don’t know exactly what to take from these sentiments.

Yes, I learned anything and everything about type 1 diabetes and caring for a child with diabetes as quickly as I could absorb the information. I expeditiously decided that pumping was the way to go for Caleb and moreso, OmniPod was the pump for us and no I don’t care Mr. Endo if you don’t think so because you have no patients under the age of 12 who have used it. I have done my research. I am no twit and that is the pump we want to try.

Yes, within days of being diagnosed Caleb was back in preschool and I was doing everything I could to be sure he was treated the same as he was before diagnosis. Since then I have spent countless hours preparing the people who oversee his education and care at school to ensure that he is safe and treated respectfully and fairly.

I try to make every decision for Caleb as a child first and work diabetes into those decisions second. I had the fortune of getting that advice the day after he was diagnosed. I also have the fortune of having an older son without diabetes for whom I have made decisions thus establishing a standard for me to measure myself against.

But do these things make me better at being Caleb’s mom than anyone else?

I know for a fact that they do not. I know countless parents who do these same things for their children. They are doing amazing jobs raising happy and healthy kids who happen to be living with diabetes. I am lucky to have their stories to compare to, to help me tailor my approach to do the best that I can for Caleb.

But for each child that has amazingly committed parents, there are probably as many, if not more, children whose parents find managing diabetes too much to handle and those children get less than great care as a result.

So yes, I suppose Caleb is lucky to have me, and he is mine for a reason.

But there is more to this picture.

I have three children.

Colin is my oldest. He is the son I spent more than two and a half years giving my undivided attention and devotion. He is the boy who shared each Harry Potter book with me for the very first time. He is the one I have had all my parenting firsts with and who has set a tone and standard for his siblings.

I will never have that bond with my other children.

Lila, my youngest, is my only daughter. She brushes and styles my hair. We fuss over clothes and shoes and haircuts. She is a girl and the youngest of three children – I am a girl and the youngest of three children.

I will never have that bond with my other children.

Caleb is my second born. He has always resembled me, whereas his older brother has always been the image of his father. Caleb quickly demonstrated not only does he look like me, but has several of my character traits. He is determined, strong willed and often silly. I am linked to him because in him I see me looking back every day.

There is another connection between Caleb and me. We work together as a team each and every day to manage his blood sugar.

I wish to never have that bond with my other children.

I am able to impart wisdom to each of them in different ways, and them to me. We are managing through our lives’ journey together, whatever the joys and obstacles we are greeted with along the way.

So yes, I agree. Caleb is mine for a reason, as are Colin and Lila.

Great post Lo! I read this on DSMA and had to re-read it here because it was so good!

Caleb is lucky to have you. But so are Colin and Lila :slight_smile: Keep building those bonds!

Fantastic post. When I was considering a pump, I was totally convinced by Caleb’s videos that it would be a good match. As I watched the various videos, I was able to see the brilliance of your care and the fact that you let him be Caleb first and made the diabetes work. You are raising three of the finest children. You and Caleb are an inspiration to a lot of us. .

WAY TO GO LORRINAINE!!! Your A GREAT MOM!!! I know how hard u have tried and succeded for him!!! YOUR A GREAT MOM!!! (kinda remind me of my own and BOY did u just get a complement) I was here when u first got here, took 2 years off (more or less) and u were here when I got back! NOW THERE’S A REALLY GOOD MOM!!!

Three gorgeous kids & one fabulous mom.

What a beautiful tribute to your children. Wonderful post!

Thank you friends. You are all very generous in your comments. What’s ironic is that my point is simply that I’m nothing special and do what many, many people do (including you all for yourselves) simply because what choice is there?

I’m fortunate to have you all as friends and support. Thank you. :slight_smile:

For some reason this brought tears to me eyes. So sweet.

3 beautiful kids & a wonderful mom! awesome words!
thanks for inspiration today :wink:

I have always heard that “God never fills your plate with more than you can handel” I was wondering about that when my oldest was born with only one hand then 11 years later became a diabetic but I NOW BELIVE IT! My youngest ran away to live with her b/f at that time. I felt soooooo down at that point (lost my main support during that time…My mom) Please know we’re all here for you during the good times as well as the bad ones.

I am going to forward your story to a friend that is also a parent to a child with diabetes. She has two other children and shares her frustrations of feeling she is unable to provide 100% to all of her children. You inspire us. Thanks for sharing.

I gosh Lorraine, that was beautiful! I get that a lot about my girls, We are the “Three D’s”, we used to have walk teams called the “Bolusing Beauties” (not so sure about that Mom part of beauty, but : ).

I’m sorry you had to become such an expert and advocate, Caleb is so blessed to have you for a Mom!

You ARE special if, for no other reason (although there are many more), that you have the heart and spirit to communicate in a way that touched so many others. I hope you continue to share.

3 Darling angels!