I am a newly diagnosed diabetic, they dont know what type i am yet im doing some more tests next week, but i am really ashamed to tell people im diabetic… how did you deal with that denial and change it for the better?
You hit a nail right on the head for me. It took me three years!!! of feeling awful and wasting away to dangerously low weight levels to finally seek treatment. I thought it was all my fault and that I had brought it on myself with poor dietary and lifestyle choices. When originally diagnosed I was given the impression I was Type II because I was heavy. Drs. just made this assumption and no testing was done. After doing all I could on my own to make my body less insulin resistant I finally found a doctor who tested and told me that my body was not insulin resistant. It wasnt producing any insulin and I was labeled Type I. I’m now working with a Dr. who gets it and is helping me tremendously.
I am still guarded about who I tell. I let the people I spend a lot of time with, especially ones that I go out to lunch and dinner with; there’s the whole testing and shooting up issue that I am tired of hiding. But for people who are “just asking” or just being nosy, I gloss over it. They dont need to know. Its just grist for their rumor mills.
Don’t do what I did and wait that long to come out of denial. Now that I am telling more people I am gaining the strength to deal with those who might give me a hard time about it. But I am finding that most people 1) dont even think about it and 2) are generally supportive when you tell them.
Good luck to you.
Vanessa, you don’t have to tell everyone, and especially since you don’t have a full diagnosis. I was dx’d my first week of 8th grade in a new school, so by the time I got back from the hospital, I had to be introduced in front of the whole class, “this is Marie. She had diabetes, so if you see her acting weird, it’s probably her diabetes”! I was mortified. The I got over telling people, because if you are matter-of-fact and not providing too much information, people usually leave it at that. and if they don’t, just NIP IT, as Barney Fife would say. Make it clear how much you want to talk about it. The other thing is, we’re all different in our own diabetes. We say, “Your diabetes may vary” or YDMV. What works for one may not on another. So when they start talking about their grandfather who has diabetes, take it with a grain of salt. We have lots of discussions here on this subject, if you search the forums you will find them. Here is one about coping that I remember. Take care, and remember, when you come to TuD, you are among family, and you don’t have to feel ashamed, or guilty, because we understand what you’re going through.
I’m very curious to read the responses here. It’s been almost 2 years, and on most days, I still don’t believe I’m diabetic. Just a little sweet. It took me deliberately ignoring it a few times and getting very ill every time, before it sank in, that I will be on insulin for the rest of my life. Most people at work don’t know and those friends and family that do, go out of their way to pretend that they don’t see it and it’s not there.
I would not be ashamed of being diabetic, because no matter what you think, IT IS NOT YOU FAULT! It is also your personal decision if and how you want to share that information. For now, focus on what you need to do to be healthy and take care of yourself. I’m thinking it just takes time, and having a routine that makes everything seem more normal.
Why on earth would you be ashamed? Are you under the impression that having diabetes is somehow your fault? It’s not – and it doesn’t matter what type of diabetes you have for that to be true. Even with Type 2, which is often portrayed as being a result of obesity and by implication overeating, it just isn’t so – obesity does cause insulin resistance, but without the right combination of genes and/or environmental factors, you’ll just make more beta cells and more insulin and keep up; conversely, with the right (or wrong, depending on how you look at it) genes, insulin resistance can actual precede obesity and can be a cause of it, as it can produce uncontrollable hunger and can cause fat to be stored even when other cells are clamoring for energy. This is a great article that surveys some of the research on the topic – I hope that reading that will help you feel better. It isn’t your fault. Don’t let anybody tell you it is.
I often still have a difficult time “telling” people… if someone notices I’m definitely not afraid to talk about it, but it isn’t something I go out of my way to bring up. Heck, I didn’t tell my dad for a LONG time… my sister actually told him, several years after I was diagnosed (we’ve always had a somewhat estranged relationship - so not telling him this was really not a whole lot different than not telling him a whole lot of other things).
My biggest hesitation about saying anything to people is all the ‘advice’ people seem to offer freely - I get tired of the “should you have that” or “don’t you need to eat something” comments from people who mean well, they just don’t know any better. My mom and step mom, both of whom are nurses, were SO bad about that after they each found out (years apart, mind you, so I got to go through it twice), as were most of the people they knew. I think having such a close connection with medical professionals who thought they knew more than they really did (this comes largely from thinking they can apply all they understand about type 2 which they see most often in their patients to me, and as a type 1, it usually just doesn’t make much sense).
I think most of my discomfort comes from having to counteract myths, and not wanting to hear about “so and so relative that had diabetes and lost his leg” and whatnot. And especially as a mom, often in contact with other moms, I find it seriously insulting to have people tell me “oh yeah, I had GD when I was pregnant, so I know just what it’s like for you.” Sorry, but they have no freaking clue what it’s like to be a type 1. No one does unless it’s a daily thing they’ll be handling for the rest of their lives.
Hi Vanessa
I was diagnosed as Type 1 18 years ago. I’m healthy, no major health issues. I use the pump and am currently trying to get the CGM Continue Glucose Monitoring system to stay in good control.
First of all don’t be so hard on yourself… give yourself some time to accept this new challenge and then get ready, you are in for a great ride, because regardless of the challenges you face. It is all up to you.
Like anything, knowledges is power, the more you learn about diabetes and the more you are willing to do what it takes to control your diabetes, the more you will realize there is nothing to be ashamed, focus your energy on learning all you can, better health, greater control, new friendships, new experiences… it’s all up to you.
Saw your profile page… it says “Live your life to the best of your ability and never give up”… those are good words to live by.
Good luck!
Michelle