My son was diaognosed with type 1, almost a year ago. Our most pressing problem (although the "problem"list can be long), is low blood sugars when my son is doing any social or sports activity. My son doesn’t stop and snack around his friends. I have tried to not mix nagging into our diabetes management and be positive as much as possible. But, those lows are so dangerous - they scare me the most. He always has a snack and a low treatment (skittles) with him. As long as it fits in his pockets, he refuses to carry any kind of pouch or bag. We are both struggling with acceptance lately. I empathise with his desire to be like everyone else. But how do I make him eat? Do I bribe? Do I punish?
Does anyone have any suggestions?
I’m not a parent, but I was a Type 1 teen (dx at age 11), and went through a lot of the same issues. Having something “normal” to eat that I could carry around in my pocket was really important for me to not feeling like a weirdo. So, skittles are great. So are fruit snacks, smarties, anything small he can carry with him, and anything that his buddies would also eat. It can take quite a while to come to an acceptance of this disease, and being a teenager makes it even harder.
Another suggestion, if you haven’t already done this, is to find a way to send him to a Type 1 diabetes camp. This was the absolutely BEST thing my parents ever did for me with regards to diabetes. I know many other Type 1’s who had a camping experience feel the same way. At camp you learn self-confidence with regards to the disease, you can feel like a normal kid for a few weeks, because everyone else has diabetes too, and it’s a break from the parents. Also, speaking in retrospect with my parents, it was a nice break for them too, because they knew I’d be having fun in a place where people knew how to take care of me if something happened. It was stress relieving for all of us, and when I got home from camp, I was always way more accepting of my diabetes and didn’t care so much about what all my friends though. Seriously, camp was so integral in my ability to take ownership, control and find acceptance of this illness.
Sorry, that was a super long response! Good luck with everything!
Well, Being a volunteer at several camps?
For the Stubborn one’s… Let nature take it’s course… Let him go hypo a few times and pass out even…
They get one hell of a headache and Feel like a Fool on top of that…( embarrassed)…
Or you can just Smother him and restrict his activities and ground him…
and I’m sorry, We are NOT like everyone else… That’s the point…Ignoring it won’t make it go away…
Best to learn Now, vs waiting until he )hopefully) goes off to College and you get a call he’s in the Hospital or worse, he cracked up some car and killed somebody…
Yes, Tough Love…
I kinda agree with this method as well
Also talk to doc to adjust levels to see if it wont cause him to go low as often.
Thanks Dennis. My normal Parental responses aren’t kicking in lately. I think it’s because I feel sorry for him. Before, I wouldn’t let him blow off a routine without a consequence. He is a very responsible person. I don’t know if he is staging a mutiny against all that is diabetes, or going through normal teenage rebellion. Which ever it is, the margin of safety is smaller now. We are both having a hard time with that. But, I’m the parent, I need to man-up first.
Thanks for your comments,
Sheila
I don’t know if your insurance covers it but if he’s doing sports regularly it might not be a bad idea to see a physiologist with a background in endocrinology. I see a great doctor at Joslin in Boston and I’ve learned so much from him (he’s also a pretty charismatic guy). I wasn’t a teen when I got diagnosed, so I have a different outlook on what to do when I feel low and how to prep before any kind of exercise. Also, since I live near the city, carrying a messenger bag (big enough to hold my insulin, meter, and a few snacks) is rather commonplace even for some older teenagers.
What kind of sports activity does he do? Is it a team at school or normal gym class? If he has a coach, you probably should talk to his coach. I think he needs a pep talk from someone he looks up to outside of his family… someone where his interest falls. Maybe he’ll need to adjust his activity too.
Anyway no bribes, no punishment. He needs encouragement- plain and simple. If he’s not getting it from you (which is normal for a teenage boy), it needs to be found elsewhere. Seek it out!
Reading your post I know that Lows are your issue, but also when around friends It important to be able to snack on somethings where he know he wont need any insulin (Protein things) eg: a small protein bar (Atkins one tastes like a snicker) etc… but lows being the issue, is he educated that this may be in fact be an opportunity to have a free snack for him without an injection and to take advantage of a portion size snack without insulin.
I treasure these moments actually now. I run my sugars as low as possible without being detrimental. He also needs to know that by having low sugars all the time, he will lose his ability to know his sugars are low and will collapse on the field, at the disco or whatever he really loves doing and he wont get any time to treat it. He is likely to still be in Honeymoon stage so his current pancreas may still be producing some insulin while it finally stops.
As a parent with Type 1 (late onset) I cannot get my parents to even understand anything so good on you for being there, being curious, searching for solutions and just loving, I would give him a day out with mum or dad and do some physical stuff - a walk etc…, take your bag of goodies and edcuate educate educate. He may still be angry and in denial and why me, why me why me??? stage but once you help him over this stage - he will be OK. I actually believe it is so much harder being a teenager these days than ever before (Cyber stuff etc…) and on top of that Type 1 - tough but not out there alone. Get him onto this site or another teenage site under an alias so he can meet others. If he is really into sport, let him read the BG level before and post sport posts on Tudiabetes. The guys are brining a wealth of information to this chat link and this is all the stuff that needs to be put into a TUDIABETES book - I would buy it. I have probably just given someone a great idea. But this is real stuff and practical stuff.
Just keep loving and supporting and educating - little by little he will take snippets and will all fall into place one day for him
Good suggestions. He does seem to burn sugar quickly when exercising, not that I have something to compare that to, but I think he needs a snack before, middle and after. The middle snack I think needs to be sugary, (someone had suggested gatorade), with carb/protein before and after. Maybe, that system has too many steps for him. Your right, that’s a good Doc topic.
He’s a speed demon, running and biking. He has a great relationship with his p.e. teacher, that’s a good idea.
thanks, sheila
I agree with Erin’s suggestion about diabetic camp. I hated my mother for making me go when I was 14, but I was greatful to see there were other people like me actually functioning out in the world.
The one thing that stuck with me the most, though, was they told us about drinking or doing drugs when you are diabetic. Low blood sugar symptoms are similar to those of feelign intoxicated, so you will not necessarily know when you are low. They drove it home with some story, which may or may not have been true, about a guy who was drinking, when he collapssed in the corner, noone noticed, and he ended up dying from the low. I don’t remember the exact details, but it stuck with me.
The other thing, is you might want to find out if he feels his hypos anymore.
If he has hypoglycemia unawareness, according to “Think Like a Pancreas,” the way to regain the low blood sugar symptoms is to no have any bg below 80 for 2 to 3 weeks. Although this will temporarily raise a type 1’s A1c, doctors seem to agree this is safer than hypo unawareness.
Thanks wiseguy, he is mildly curious about what I have been reading on this site. Babysteps.
Sheila
Very well written, thank you for your thoughts. I don’t think I could describe the degree of eye-rolling, when I suggested Diabetes camp. I do think you are 100% correct, and will keep suggesting.
Thanks,
Sheila
I think we heard that story. I hope it also stuck. Thank you for your thoughts.
Sheila
We may switch to levemir, but if he is not snacking in front of friends, he most likely won’t inject in front of friends (more relevent when school starts) Our doctor, wants to deal with this issue first before moving on to a pump.
Thanks, sheila
This happens often and when you do drink why it is important for you to set an alarm to take BG or mum to sneak in and take them. Your liver has a special storage of Glucose (Glycogen), a non type 1 pancreas would be working to level and regulate BG level. For a type 1 without that action, your liver has a special storage and one of its many jobs is to realese glucose when in desparate need to bring you around after hypo, however if you are drinking the liver will always focus on getting rid of alcohol as first priority and hence will not stand up and come to the rescue during low phase. Its like the order of operations in Maths (x. /, +, -) The livers order of operations is (Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, glycogen) ANyway this is laymans terms but I hope this helps you explain to your son to. I also forgot to add - have carbs before bed
I don’t recall reading this suggestion : would Son be interested in a pump …or is his age a barrier ??..probably gives him much more freedom , yet HE needs to be committed to make it work .
I maybe totally off base suggesting this , not having been a Mom and diagnosed later in life . The pump changed my life …wish You and Son well .
Nel - there is a link called LADA that may interest you - all pretty much type 1s diagnosed later in life or should I say misdiagnosed. Good conversations. I am also late onset type 1 and pump changed my life also. I can never look back and dread the day I may have to for whatever reason
Changing from Lantus to Levemir helped me tremendously with afternoon lows. A pump’s basal settings will be great for his activity level. Sorry, don’t know what you mean by him injecting Levemir in front of friends. Levemir is taken the same as Lantus. How does he bolus now for lunch?
Bribing, punishing & nagging won’t work & will make him rebel more. You can’t make him eat. All you can do is offer support, encouragement & acknowledge that you understand how he feels. He’s a responsible kid & you’d like him to be a bit more responsible about lows.
As alternate for camp, you could try looking for groups that are focused on young adults/teens that meet occasionally. I’m not sure if there are anything like this where you are at…but when I was a teen they used to have teen weekends rather than camps… but just as rewarding as camp.
I’m A type 1 who went through the teen years wanting to be “normal” Also the mom of a Type 1 who took it at 11 and now she’s (soon to be) 22. Camp helped alot but he will have to understand that it’s his responcibility to do so. I know one time of having a low and looking like a fool did me in.
In terms of how handle it, I think you are 100% on the right track so far. Pushing him too hard or nagging him will only make him move further in the opposite direction. Most T1Ds (myself included) experience a phase where we are resistant to advice of all forms because we always know what’s best. Always. In that way, T1D isn’t different from anything else during those years! Nudge him in the right direction but don’t push.
It won’t make your life easier, but there’s just no avoiding the fact that the next few years are going to be way worse for you than they will be for him (at least in terms of diabetes). you’re a mom. There’s no cure for that yet:)
If he was anything like I was, then he would be very reluctant to go on the pump. But, if your doctor has a loaner, see if you can talk him into trying it for a week. Bribe him with something good if you have to. I initially thought that a pump would be a burden with my activity level, but nothing could be further from the truth. The ability to tailor basal insulin levels to your exact schedule gives you a lot of freedom. It may not immediately change any anti-pump feelings, but he might move that much closer to tolerating the idea. good luck!