As a newly diagnosed LADA (3 months now) I was recently presented with a dinner invite from a couple who I know only casually. My dilemma is I really didn't know how best to handle the eating part and am looking for some advice. My issues are 1) I am eating very low carb quite successfully at present, 2) I don't really want to make a big deal about having DM to this particular group of people and I especially am not keen about my health status as being the center of conversation with a group of people I may have only just met, 3) I really don't want to have to do bolus dosing at someone elses house if that can be avoided - I often eat low carb meals without any bolus dosing at all. Although I have eaten out many times in the past, it has always been where I could pick and choose my food choices without drawing attention e.g., at a restaraunt or at parties with buffet style eating. This was going to be a more formal sitdown where they pass the potatoes, bread, rice and desert around and everyone would be expected to have some. I know you can pass on a single dish or two but on everything but the turkey and veg may be a bit out of place. Sorry for the ramble.
The turkey and veg shouldn't present a problem, just have a small amount of high carb foods and eat as little as possible. Dessert is likely to be the main problem, but you will just have to say dinner was so delicious you are full up and couldn't eat a thing more. Excuse yourself to the bathroom if you need to inject. Life wasn't meant to be easy!
I eat very low carb also. You can put a very smalll quanity of a few items on your plate to be polite, push it around & not eat them, & pass on others. A simple no thanks while passing on a food is sufficient. Stick to the protein & veggies you'd usually eat to avoid bolusing. People don't typically ask why you're not eating something. They're too busy eating & talking to notice:) Know we feel self-conscious in social situations like this, but helps to bear in mind that no one is really paying attention. So many people have dietary restrictions (lactose intolerance, celiac, allergies) that it shouldn't raise eyebrows.
Bring your insulin just in case. Easy to inject in a bathroom.
Ah yes, the old "spread it over the plate ploy". Haven't used that one since I was a kid but sounds like a reasonable approach. Like all the suggestions above actually and am already feeling more confident that I will be handle things without any drama.
Either that, or hope they have a dog hanging out under the table:) That was my wish when my mother served liver.
I used to be vegetarian before DM. Try say no thanks & passing on turkey at Thanksgiving. Now, I eat the turkey & no stuffing.
Nah, no drama. Enjoy yourself & have fun.
Why not just tell the host that you're eating low carb? I regularly have friends over for meals and *always* ask new people about dietary preferences. There are all sorts. One of my friends doesn't eat chocolate, another has issues with cheese in its natural state but is OK with cheese cooked with food. Still others have issues with meat on the bone. That's on top of people with medical conditions like lactose intolerance and coeliac. As the host, I want to make sure that everybody has a good selection of food they can eat or are willing to eat, and I'm sure most hosts would feel similar.
I suppose that might work if the average person really knew what low carb meant. I have had people try to feed me chocolate cake and biscuits saying they were low carb. Also it may seem a bit pretentious to say I can eat the steak but not the potatoes (if you know what I mean). Besides eliminating a single food from the menu is a bit easier than eliminating an entire food group LOL.
I think this may difficult because naturally we would feel rude to decline this offer, which leaves two other choices. You may risk offending the host by being particular about the food they can offer you if you do accept, or suffer health consequences if you do not specify your diet restrictions. But maybe there's another way to look at it.
Perhaps you are not okay with disclosing your diabetes for whatever reason, and that's fine, I can totally relate. But maybe you would feel better by saying you have diet restrictions for health purposes? I have had friends tell me this (and also for religious reasons) when I have invited them over, and I take it as a fun challenge to prepare food tailored to their needs. It's also fun for me to experience a part of their diet, and to relate to them on those occasions. In any case, it would allow you to have the freedom to decline those starchy dishes and to still accept their offer of hospitality.
I hope you get to go out and enjoy yourself!
I've always been pretty open about it, had a little bag to take insulin around and a syringe and would just bust it out when it was time. My friend who had type G when she was pregnant had said "I've got to go to the bathroom to test my BG" and my other friend, a psychiatrist w/ an MD said "that's not the best idea..." and we prevailed upon her to use the rest of the house. I go with the take a little bit and eat it a lot of the time and I haven't run into problems but I am pretty sure just about everyone I know is aware I have diabetes.
I also don't think that it's unreasonable to explain "I eat low(er?) carbs because it's healthier" either. There's several books, websites, etc. that make this point succinctly and that might be a better conversation "angle" than diabetes anyway?
In the end I found that simply being "out" works the easiest for me, but it takes time to come to terms with having diabetes.
Since I am strict as well, I will usually tell the host that I am following a low carb diet and just wanted to let them know and to please not take offense if I seem picky. They don't need to accomodate me, but just understand if I make certain choices, it is a reflection of my diet, not a comment on the dinner.
Another tactic is to simply bring a dish to contribute to the meal and conveniently arrange for that dish to fit perfectly into your diet.
Great suggestions from everyone.
The first time is the toughest Bob, as with anything ;) You may want to have a small meal before you go, just in case there's very little you can eat. If it makes you more comfortable, you can tell the host/ess that there are a few foods you don't eat, but not to be concerned as you will find plenty. People pay a lot less attention to what we're doing than we think LOL
I was totally out on my recent cruise, tested and 'texted' my pump on my lap or right on the table if the light was bad. One person noticed the entire time, asked what I was doing, said 'oh' and walked away.
Enjoy the dinner and the company, don't let worries about D interfere !
I think everyone has given some good suggestions. I always try really hard to never make my T1D a reason for requiring certain foods. All my friends know that I have T1D, but some of my coworkers do not. I don't make a big deal out of what I cannot eat; I just politely pass when offered.
I have a pump, so I am usually able to safely SWAG for really small amounts of those forbidden foods, and I will sometimes do so when at some event/party. However, so many people eat low carb these days that I don't think anyone would even look twice if you skipped things like potatoes or whatever.
Keep in mind that sometimes YOU notice things more than other people do. More often than not, situations like this are a bigger deal in our minds than the minds of other people.
I have been in this situation many times, as my husband's friends from his church really don't know me more than to know my face. When things are getting close to the meal, I poke my head in the kitchen, tell the hostess I'm determining what dose of insulin I'm going to give and I tell her not to think anything about what I eat and don't eat, that I'll get plenty and that I'll thoroughly enjoy it. A couple "oh, that looks good" does it.
#1. I put them at ease.
#2. I don't hide it - I take insulin into my arm and wear a top I can move around so I can do so.
#3. I never make it a big deal, but I teach when questions are asked.
#4. I eat low carb normally, too. I find their vegetables and meat are usually just fine. Skip the breads, rolls, starches & beg for an extra fork to just take one forkful of a friend's dessert. By the end of a meal you can get away with anything. Personally as host, I rue the person who takes a few peas and moves them around the plate. Do that at my house, and you don't get asked back. Communication is normal for our species.
I never worry about it and I never ask for special accomodations. I just eat what I can and pass on the rest. With all the dieting, food allergies, etc., that is not abnormal behavior. As far as the testing, injection, etc., I would try to test just before ringing the doorbell, then find a quiet spot for a quick bolus at mealtime. I know the bathroom is not the best, but sometimes it will do in a pinch, especially if you want to keep your D hushed up with this group.
Great suggestions all. I suppose it will be similar to my first long distance trip as a diabetic through several time zones and airports away from the comfort and familiarity of my own home/kitchen and food choices. I was admittedly a bit anxious but surprise surprise, it all went smooth as silk and now I look forward to travel again. And Leo I will refrain from the SIOTPP (I'm sure my mother would agree with your sentiments!)
Eating in circumstances you can't control is never easy, but you've gotten some good suggestions to pick and choose from (kind of like the dinner!). I personally prefer to communicate but not make a big deal about it - it's a balance. Depending on your closeness to the host I would take him or her aside or call them before the dinner and tell them as much or as little as you please. It could be "I have some health issues that lead to food restrictions" or the actual diagnosis. Then reassure them they don't need to do anything special for you, and that you will do fine with what is served, but may turn some items down. Then just eat the meat and vegies or salad or whatever works for you without feeling pressure to eat things you would rather not.
I've gone through this process three times actually: First when I stopped eating sugar 17 years ago, then when I became vegetarian 10 years ago and now with diabetes. Ironically I find people understand the first two better than the third one because of myths and misinformation out there about diabetes! My own nephew recently told me the italian restaurant the family would be meeting at, and said "don't worry, Zoe, there is excellent pizza you can eat" (meaning vegetarian!) With the first two I was actually surprised how much people made a point of making things that I could eat. With the last one, either I used up my quota of special requests or they just don't know what it means. But since most people I know eat healthy there are always plenty of salads and fresh vegies.
The testing/shooting in public is another issue. Here on TuD people tend to say if you do those things in private you are ashamed of your D. I disagree and think it's a personal comfort level, one that may change with time. I did both in the bathroom for awhile until I had my first lunch out with another Type 1. I watched as she tested and looking around saw nobody was paying any attention at all! And she didn't even do the "move it down into your lap below the table" thing! Then I got comfortable. But recently I went to a potluck with people I barely knew and didn't want to "out" myself as attention getting right away. So I stepped out of the dining room/kitchen where everyone was gathered and sat on the couch in the empty living room. As I was testing a "gaggle" of teenage girls were rough housing through the house and one put her hand on another's arm and said, "careful, she's doing her diabetes" Cute!
It will never get easy, but you will find what works for you and perhaps in time you will share with your circle of friends which you might think makes it a big deal, but which actually leads to it becoming not such a big deal. Good luck!