I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was just a kid, so I didn't have to tell my mother I had diabetes -- she was there when the doctor diagnosed me. And when we got home, she told my father. And she also told my grandparents and my teachers. I never had to worry about breaking it to anyone except my boyfriend and that wasn't so hard because at the time, "we" were still new and no one invested anything in the relationship so it wasn't one of those emotional things. But, my best friend is a grown woman with a husband and children of her own -- she's finding it hard talking to them about it. She told her husband, but he had some inkling because he recognized the symptoms (his mother is diabetic). But, she says she doesn't feel comfortable talking to him about it because she feels he won't see her the same way, anymore. She feels like she's a burden on him and not the strong woman he could always depend on when they first got married. She still hasn't told her kids yet, or her parents. Since I personally never had to go through it myself, I was hoping someone here might help. Anyone else go through a similar thing? (Oh, and I told her to sign up, but she says she's "not ready to be a diabetic yet." I think she feels that by registering on a diabetes forum, it makes it "official." Might sound silly, but I know where she's coming from. I know in time she'll come around and will kick herself for not doing this sooner. For now, I'll ask the questions for her -- if she has questions or concerns I can't help with -- and show them all to her when she's ready. Thanks for your help! It means a lot!)
Hi Alicia, You are a great friend to her, by coming here and showing your concern for her. I have had T1 for over fifty years, and yes it can be a struggle. Please let your friend know that she is not alone. I would really recommend that she share this with her husband and family ASAP and learn as much she can about living with diabetes! Her family is her biggest support system and they will understand her needs, such as having a low/high with diabetes, the challenges she may face on sick days, or even learning new foods that she may like to introduce to not only herself but her family.
Being dx with diabetes can be hard at first, but with all of the knowledge and how new ways of treating diabetes can be much easier today. You said that her husbands mother also had diabetes, so I am sure he will be very understanding and ready to be my her side as he already is. Remember diabetes does not define who we are!
I am here to help you anyway that I can. Maybe you can suggest that she go and visit a CDC or find a support group in her area and go with her, and also encourage her husband and family to go as well.
I have a wonderful group of girlfriends and we out once a week for a ladies night out of bingo. All of them know that I have type 1 diabetes and that I wear a MiniMed 530G Insulin pump with the Enlite CGM. They all know that if I let them know that I'm starting to have a low, that I always have a juice box or two on hand and where to find it in my bag. The best part about their friendship is that they do not exclude me from anything. Example, one of the ladies made all of us Easter Baskets, and guess what, mine had all the same goodies as the rest of the ladies, chocolate bunny and all. They know that I will know what to do with it!
I am here if you need any help. Just reach out! Big hugs, Kitty
When I was diagnosed at age 27, I had been dating my now husband for just over a year. I remember coming home, terrified at being on insulin, and he knew something was wrong. I told him and we sat together all night doing research! That's when I found this website and started reading about how you can live a life and have diabetes! I called my parents that night and told them over the phone.
Please tell your friend that she doesn't have to "be a Diabetic." I'm not. I have diabetes, but I'm a person, a woman, a wife, and refuse to let one diagnosis define my entire life.
Best of Luck!
Thank you so much for that, that's really touching! Soon as she's ready to signup for her own account, she'll be happy to know she's got the support of the diabetes online community, as well. Now, all I have to do is get her to signup, but not in so many words. We never force anything on one another, I respect her wishes not to join just yet, and I won't force the issue. So, what DID you end up doing with the chocolate bunny? LOL Personally, I can't be trusted around one!
You're absolutely right. But, you know how it is; it's all so new to her. She probably thinks by signing up for a diabetes forum will make being diabetic too "real" for her. It's a touchy subject; all I can say is it's going to take time. It's a lot easier to get diagnosed as a kid. But, being a grown woman with a family, kids, a job...it can turn your world around. All the new stuff she has to learn and remember and add to her already hectic schedule. It's a B, to say the least. I get her. By the sound of it, you have a good man by your side. Hang on to him ... with both legs! OMG, that was dirty! LOL My apologies!
When I was first diagnosed I called my mom up and started crying about it. I was so upset at the time, but now itâs easy. People usually see my pump and just ask about it. I have no problem simply explaining I have diabetes. Itâs a part of who I am now and itâs not something you can ignore or hide. She needs to come to terms with the facts and realize itâs going to be something sheâs going to have to deal with. Thereâs a safety in numbers if your family knows whatâs going on. She shouldnât be ashamed of something that was out of her control. Her family should love her regardless. Ask your friend to put herself in their shoes. Would she rather have them find out on their own? Because chances are most of them will. And, if anything, being diabetic makes you stronger, not weaker. There are so many things we all face every day that a lot of people couldnât even imagine.
You say, âI wen to the doctor. The doctor says I have type 1 diabetesâ.
I donât mean to be flippant but whatâs the issue here> Of course her family wonât see her the same way. Things have changed. Your fiend has diabetes. Everyoneâs life just changed. I think your friend has other emotional problems unrelated to diabetes. Perhaps a mental health professional can help.
Exactly! Youâre not diabetic. You â the woman and wife â have diabetes.
Sit them down and tell them you are gay, then say, âJust kidding!! Iâm diabetic!â (I can say this because I am a gay diabetic.) It never really occurred to me that there is an issue in telling anyone that Iâm a diabetic. Iâve been insulin dependent for almost 44 years, but I also do my best to keep my diabetes to myself. Really. . .if you are worried that someone wonât âlikeâ you because you are diabetic, tell them youâre gay. If they âdisownâ you because you say you are gay. . .they werenât worth telling them the truth. . . Just a thought.
How did I tell my family I have diabetes?
I said," the doctor just told me Iâm diabetic and have to go on insulin right away". That was back in 1978. A very traumatic time in my life. Now itâs not traumaticâjust a nuisance and sometimes bg control issues get me thoroughly pissed off, but other than that Iâm relatively healthy so I guess i shouldnât complain. I see people all the time a lot worse off than me.