My daughter was diagnosed 2.5 years ago at 3 years old and until recently has rarely complained or asked questions. But in the past couple of weeks, she has started asking things like "why did I get diabetes?", "why doesn't Sam [her little brother] have diabetes?", and "why did you let me get diabetes?"
These questions are heartwrenching and I do my best to explain it. I suppose these types of questions come with her age (she just started kindergarten yesterday), and I imagine most of you have had to answer these questions before, so I was hoping you could share with me how you handled it. I just want to cry every time she brings it up...
Aimee - you can cry and be sad with her - who on earth 'likes' the big D? When Malcolm was small (he was dx when he was 2 - he is 20 now) I would agree with him and we would shed a tear or two and then get up and get a special treat... or do something fun. Understanding her feelings will allow her to talk with you about them - if we shut our ears and pretend it is all fantastic then we are denying the real challenges our D kids face everyday. What to say to her? I would be honest and say that we don't know why one person gets T1D and some one else doesn't - but we are working hard for a cure and working hard to keep her feeling great and healthy. And yes, T1D is hard sometimes. Say that because it is true!
Hi Aimee, yes a heart breaking question, but I agree with barbi's line of thinking, they must 'mourn' the loss of their pancreas and know its ok to be sad, there were times that I had no choice but to let my son cry himself to sleep over his D ( he was always worse at night dealing with anything even before D, this helped me keep things in perspective) a silly thing that my son attached to was we research all the possible whys and found people in northern climates and northern climate heritages had a higher incidence of type 1 having a little Swedish in him from my side, he jokingly blames me and as a freshman in high school included this in his explanation to his new friends. just a tiny little bit of a reason helped him cope a bit. with age and your ongoing support they do cope better and better my son amazes me still with his go with it attitude but still 'fake' whines about changing his pod when it used to ruin his whole evening. this is a tough age sending your little girl off to school especially with worry over her D , I hope you have good support at school and trust me it does get easier, my son is a junior. best wishes, amy
My daughter was much older than your daughter when she was diagnosed (exactly 11-1/2 years old when she was diagnosed earlier this year on 01/24/2014.) And this heartbreaking question still comes up from time to time even though she understands the physiology behind Type 1. I find myself asking the same question sometimes in the wee hours of the morning when her Dexcom alarms to let me know she is high or low: "Why my daughter?" Hasn't she already gone through enough (several painful surgeries to correct orthopedic issues)? But the answer is always the same: No particular reason. It just happened. And it sucks. We still mourn the loss of her functioning pancreas, both individually and together at times. It helps to cry a little, and then move on. I think we'll continue asking "Why?" from time to time. Because it just isn't fair.
