I think your daughter is rebelling. That’s what teenagers do – they rebel. Having diabetes is no fun, and I think a lot of diabetic teenagers don’t necessarily take great care of themselves. Think of it this way: it’s much healthier for her to rebel in this way than to use drugs or go binge drinking every day. I also am not sure there’s a lot you can do right now. If you try to have a serious talk, youo’re most likely just going to hear, “Shut up, Mom. I hate you, Mom. Leave me alone, Mom.” Does this happen often? If it’s pretty rare and, overall, her control is good/okay, then just let it alone. Most likely she feels really awful that her sugars are that high and she’ll probably give herself insulin on her own.
This is just my personal opinion, but I always think it’s dangerous for parents to become over involved in their children’s diabetes, because the parents aren’t going to be around their kids all their lives. Kids are going to go to college or get a job and move out. When that happens, if the parent has always been the one telling teh kid how to control their diabetes, the kid’s going to have a lot of problems. So calm down. Yes, having high blood sugars for long periods of time can cause damage to diabetics. But my guess is, she’ll outgrow this, and start taking better care.
Thank you! What you are saying makes perfect sense. I do try to make it not personal and non judgmental. Maybe we need to sit down (when all of us are not emotional) and discuss these things w/out the fear, and all of the other thing that stem from that. I never thought of not getting her the pump, I figured that it would allow her to have greater control. However what you are saying is true. If she isn’t using the tools she has now, which people have been using for a very long time, and we know it works. Then how is she supposed to use a Pump.
I am going to sit down and make myself a list of things to talk about, and take a step outside of my emotions and fears. And make it all information. Thank you. IT is very eye opening and Thank you for your suggestions!
i can not say that i have done this perfectly (or even well…) but things began to turn around for my oldet two sons when i began to do this… just want you to know that there are those of use who have been there and done that, so to speak. my oldest is 18 and living with a brother of mine for the beggining of the farming season, working like a dog… which is good, and he loves it. i used to have him call me every three days to read his log book. it looks better then mine… my 15 year old needs a little more help… so i really can relate to what you re going through - though boys are different than girls in a lot of ways. my girl is eight and i am wondering what she is going to be like as a teen-ager… any how… if you need anything, even if it is just an ear, please feel free to drop me a line
Christina
Like you’ve heard before… please get her counseling as soon as possible and you also. Being a teenager is hard and if she has not been a diabetic for very long. she is also dealing with her own mortality. As a newly diagnosed person she is going through all the stages of grief that someone goes through when someone dies… shock, anger, disbelief, depression, etc.
You have to stay optimistic for her… if she see’s you as giving up, then so will she.Her refusal to take medicine, I would guess is her way of denial and fighting - you need a support group to help her fight in a different way and honestly putting her in the hospital - might be good… it will quickly get her in control, provider her immediate education, give her a sounding board, and provide support.
I would also talk with the doctor… it is definitely time for both you and her to learn that you are in charge of your health and if you think it would beneficial for her to have the pump now… then don’t take accept your doctors answer and get him to work with you on this or find someone who is more willing to be proactive in your daughters care.
This ultimately can be a great opportunity for your daughter learn how strong and spectacular she really is.
Wow! Everyone here gave you good advice. I wasn’t dx’d as a teen but I can offer my support, shoulder and ear’s to you whenever you need them.
Your daughter is getting burnt out, we all do! Keep a close eye out, show her tuff love and see if you can find a local chapter of JDRf or support group for teens who have diabetes. Have you tried getting her a pump? That may help her also.
I like the idea of ??? (can’t remember). When the next super high hits, call the paramedics!! It might be like a pail of cold water in the face but, it can’t be helped.
I’m not sure about the coffin shopping. It even shocked me and I’m 55!!
I actually did this to a step son who insisted on drinking and driving in MY car. Just told him one day… come on… we are going to go do some shopping for you. You should have seen his face when we walked in… and I said… which one do you want? He turned pale. I made him pick one… and on the ride home I told him that his dad and I loved him but his drinking and driving was certain to have him in a coffin if he didn’t quit. He broke down crying and I never found evidance of beer or booze in the car after that. Now he’s grown and has a CDL.
It’s rough… emotional for all concerned… but it gets a strong point across.
I think that this might be a good response to drinking and driving. That was a very moving and powerful decision on your part.
I think that diabetes is a different story. Maddy didn’t choose to have to deal with type 1. We all know that you can be trying hard and still not get everything right. So I guess my preference is to try soft love and understanding first, then tough love as a last resort.
I think that diabetes is easier when the people around you try to understand and sympathize.
Wise words from Kristin. Read too many stories here about things kids were told to scare them as diabetics & how it’s scarred them. It didn’t make them more compliant, just depressed & resentful. Support, empathy & understanding can go a long way.
I have two nephews with cystic fibrosis. Similar in some ways to diabetes regarding the level of self-care required, taking meds constantly, they couldn’t do things other kids could, the constant coughing embarrassed them, etc. They grew up with death lurking around the corner.
When they were older, they could do their own poundings & had to take charge of their meds. Like most teenagers, they rebelled against the disease they had to deal with their whole lives. They weren’t doing their treatments (which means they couldn’t breath), got sick, were in & out of the hospital, almost died several times. Was like they were daring death intentionally. My brother-in-law & sister-in-law (who aren’t particularly empathic types) tried the usual threats, punishment, guilt, bullying, begging, cajoling, policing. None of this worked. Finding a network of support among other CF people & counseling did help. They also had great doctors who spent time trying to understand them. That’s a rarity!
Thankfully, they’re in their 20’s now & responsible about taking care of themselves. Like us PWDs, they get burned out frequently & slip.
Thank you Leah! I so appreciate that offer! Unfortunately this weekend we have a 1st BDay party for my youngest daughter and I believe I have family dinner on sunday (geesh, didn’t think I had that busy of a weekend). However I think a meet up would be great! Maybe we could meet in the middle somewhere. I don’t really know what city, town or anything like that that is between us, but I think maybe with a little research, we could pull it off.
Thank you so much!!!
Hi Nel,
We are sending her this summer to a Diabetes Camp, right now we are trying to fit our Vacation to see family and when we can send her. We have 2 options of camps, 1 is by her Dr. Mary Simon, and another is down by LA, but fits better into our schedule and $ wise. But either one have options for help w/the $ situation.
Thanks!
I also must say thank you so much to all of you! You give me the strength to go one more day and then more. And the ideas of what i can do to help her and support her are great. I can’t say I agree with all of them, but I will take what I can and use what i think will work for her. I want to say thank you to all of you for being here for me in my most difficult times. I know that there will be more ahead and that I can always come here and you all will be here for me. Thank you again.
Christina
Hi, I feel so bad for you both! I think she may be burned out. So I would just go ahead and try to take over the D care while she is home (the testing, the shots, as much as she will let you do). In the immediate instance of her refusing to take insulin for a 400 plus sugar, yes, I would force her to go to the ER each time. If you think a pump will help her with compliance, I see NO reason, no reason at all, why you would have to wait nine months to get a pump. That is the endo’s preference; you need help immediately for help with your daughter. If she does not have to take a shot for every meal and correction, she will only have the BG checks to deal with. It is such a tough daily routine; anything the endo can do to make it easier for her should be done. I would definitely try to get the pump for her asap. Good luck! I’m sure she’ll come around. She is probably still somewhat in the denial stage.
Thanks.