Hello all! I've been sitting here for the past ten minutes trying to think of how to introduce myself. I'm sorry that this came out so long... First off, my name is Jen, but I've been using Winter as my online handle for so long it's actually become a nick name for me. I'm pretty sure I'm a type 2 diabetic and I was diagnosed early last year. It was the worst New Years ever, but I have diabetes on both sides of my family. In some way I almost expected to get it, and I'm still ashamed that I didn't work harder to prevent it.
I'm only just now trying to take control of things and learning how to take care of myself. Around the same time that I was diagnosed last year, my grandpa developed diabetic neuropathy. Without getting into too much detail, he ended up moving in with us and everyone's focus went into taking care of him and controlling his diabetes. I hadn't been given much information by my doctor, so I had been relying on my family to help me adjust. When I didn't have that support anymore I panicked and just sort of...shut down. I'm pretty sure I did try for a while but looking back...it was just sad. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing and no one to help me. You would think that seeing what diabetes can do first hand with my grandpa would keep me motivated. Nope. Apparently I don't do well with negative reinforcement.
I ignored it to the point where a few weeks ago, on the rare days I decided to check my sugar it almost always said HI, which I figured meant it was 500 or higher. I got sicker and sicker and eventually sort of snapped out of my stupidity and started doing some serious research. I couldn't take another day of super high blood sugars, being constantly hungry and wondering if I'd even wake up in the morning. One day I just demanded that someone take me to the ER, and I was only there for a few hours but I managed to snag a prescription for 500mgs of Metformin twice a day, with refills to last me the next three months.
My sugars are still running pretty high, with fastings being around 230, but I do feel a bit better. It's a little disappointing though. I've been working the past week to keep my carbs in check (maximum amount is 50g per meals, 15g for snacks) and I exercise several hours a day. I know with Metformin it takes a while to kick in and it's silly to expect immediate results but... I really need to see a doctor. The one time I saw a doctor last year, all they did was give me a diagnosis and a prescription before sending me on my way. I'm worried it's just downright not going to work and I'll be taking the medicine for nothing. What if I'm not even a Type 2? That would be embarrassing but my sugars have been so stupidly high that I wouldn't be surprised. The doctors around here are so high and mighty. I've been put on a cancellation list, and can expect an appointment 'possibly' within the next two weeks. Yay.
I joined because... I'm really completely by myself in this. My family never did step up to help me and I just had to accept that and learn to help myself. I really am trying, but it's hard because I have no idea if I'm doing the right things here. It's so discouraging to workout and count carbs all day, only to see it still creeping up to higher numbers. I can deal without sugary processed foods, but the fact that I have to plan in advance to eat a stupid apple is and has been enough to reduce me to a sobbing mess on my kitchen floor. It's not a pretty sight. The only other diabetics I know are my dad and my grandpa. My dad and I are not on speaking terms, and diabetic talks with my grandpa usually turn into him lecturing me going, "You see me!? Is this what you want!? Let me spend the next five hours describing my excruciating pain." It's not very inspiring. Quite the opposite really. I have seen diabetic complications first hand (everything from neuropathy to gangrene...) and scare tactics do just that. Scare me. I don't want to focus on the bad things that will happen if I'm negligent. I want to focus on what I can do to make things better NOW.
So yes. In short (kind of late for that I realize) I am here to get some new perspectives, advice and maybe make a few friends who actually understand what I'm going through. My friends try but... you know how non-diabetics can be. On a lighter note, I was surprised to see how many college-age folks are on this site. I'll be honest, I was starting to think diabetics under the age of 30 didn't exist haha.